(pans to Hank hiding under the butt of a giant cow sculpture) Good morning, John it's Thursday June 9th.
(at home) 7th, not 9th. That was me poking my head out of the butt of a giant cow. And that's all that I'm going to say about that. Light, sound, and position check for The Weather Channel.
I know what you're thinking: where did he get that amazing yellow light in the background? It's just a Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb with some tissue paper wrapped around it. I'm so clever. I thought maybe you and the Nerdfighters would a-appreciate an increase in the amount of production value, which means no clutter behind me, maybe a little bit more light on my face, dark no patterned shirt, no They Might Be Giants posters, regular kind of frame- head and shoulders. None of this business or like this business (very close camera shots) Sideways face shots.
Ok this actually isn't for you and the Nerdfighters, this is for The Weather Channel. Because I'm going to try and get my ass on the station. And I don't know that that's gonna happen, and it's a little bit sad. They're being finicky about me living in the middle of no where. If I lived in LA or something, they wouldn't have any problems at all getting me on the station. Since I live in Montana, they called it a daunting task. I don't wanna be a daunting task. I just wanna be on The Weather Channel. Hank Green: Clean Technology Expert. Hank Green: Editor in Chief EcoGeek.org. Hank Green: (shot of cat) Satisfied Cat Owner. Hank Green: Yo Baby's Daddy. Hank Green: Addicted to My Pants.
Which brings me to My Pants. One evening I left My Pants and then, the next morning, when I went back to My Pants, there were over 300 registered users in My Pants that had posted, like, a thousand posts in My Pants. At first I was worried My Pants had gotten too big for its britches, but then I realized that I was just never going to be able to conceptualize and participate in all of My Pants. I'm sorry about that, but My Pants have gotten very big. Very quickly! Hoo Hah! Nerdfighters! (does salute)
Jeez, you guys! That's some impressive foruming! Well done! I am so glad that I created that forum, you guys are amazing. Discussions surround the Evil Baby Orphanage and the presidential election. I am never again going to lack for book suggestions. Woohoo! It's very exciting, thank you for your support.
I think it's really weird that I sometimes get paid in gift cards, like, why do I need a hundred dollar gift card to CDW? Can't you give me a hundred dollars? So that I can pay rent? (phone rings) I think that may be The Weather Channel calling. Hello? Hello Sid Moore from The Weather Channel- I also wanted to ask, like what would the byline? I don't know what the word is. Just don't put .com because that would be a disaster. Cause it's .org. Yeah. It's OK, it's a long and painful story. Cool. Thanks a lot. Yeah, awesome. Bye.
Woo-o-oaaahhh!! I'm gonna be on The Weather Channel. Oh my God that is the dorkiest thing in the world to be excited about. Wow. I would do my happy dance but this set up is fragile. I should show you. This is my tripod. (stool with stack of books) it's some books on a stool. And my MacBook is in my lap. And that's how I'm controlling everything from my command station here. And if I did a happy dance it would all fall over. This is me, like, touching (shakes) ooooohhhhhhh aah! So that's why I'm not doing a happy dance. But I would, otherwise. Well, I'm running out of time and space, ummm, on my hard drive, so I have to clean that out before The Weather Channel calls tomorrow. And, uh, I will see you tomorrow.
Showing posts with label EcoGeek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label EcoGeek. Show all posts
Friday, November 5
Thursday, November 4
May 21st: Comment Bashing, Anniversaries and EBO Ladies
Good morning, John, it's Monday, May 21st and I've got all kinds of news!
First: Katherine is at work, which is weird, because she hasn't been at work in a long time, and I'm all alone in the house all day. Second: You've been married for an entire year! (party blowers) There will be more on that tomorrow. Also, I recently made a video for EcoGeek in which I discussed this silly NASA project that was like a flapping bird plane. I thought it was kinda silly so I made a kinda silly video. Very exciting, the video and story got picked up on Digg and then Gizmodo picked it up and then I started reading the comments and then I realized that everyone was being really mean to me.
Excerpts from the comments:
Interesting: 10 of 10. Informative: 4 of 10. Annoying: 11 of 10.
Dear EcoGeek, you are not ZeFrank. Please stop trying to be.
I want those bird things to be fitted with razor sharp talons, sent to that geek's house and make him pay for that voice over.
Someone please do him the favor of just killing him.
(acts like crying) They're so mean! Why are they all so mean? I mean, what did I ever do to them? Put some razor sharp talons on- show you- not ZeFrank- gonna talon you. To death. Aahh! I wanna go have some chocolate or something. (eats chocolate) I mean, congratulations to me, for having my face all up on Gizmodo, now everybody has to be really mean to me because they're jealous. They're jealous and they don't understand my craft. They're not ready for me yet. They're not ready for what I do. The world isn't ready yet. Give the world a couple more days, and then I'll come back, and they'll understand what I'm trying to do.
Anyway I have good news. There's a new Yahoo site, at Green.Yahoo.com and among content from really amazing famous environmentalists: uhh, NRDC, Amory Lovins, Tree Hugger's got some content on there, World Changing, there is prime featured EcoGeek content. We've been working on this deal for a long time and I haven't been able to talk about it. I wanted to say something to you but I couldn't say anything because it was really secret and I was worried that it wasn't gonna work out. It did work out. It's running and it's up and I'm getting traffic. And it's just really freakin awesome that I am writing, kind of, for Yahoo. And they are sending me lots of Yahoo traffic. So that's some super fricken duper news.
Additionally I, of course, have a couple of things to say about the Evil Baby Orphanage. First: I worry a little bit about discussing the proposal in a public forum. For me one of the biggest thrills of experiencing a book or a movie or a television show are the secrets. You have to put together the pieces of the puzzle slowly to build the picture, and- and we're going to be starting in this proposal, I think, with a fairly complete picture. But I don't want everybody to see that picture first. I wanna- I wanna hide that picture. I'm not- I'm afraid of people seeing that picture. The text based communication thing does make it harder, uhh, to do this, but I think we can. I just don't know how. So here's a start: I'm gonna discuss an issue that I have with this idea without going into plot details. The issue: there aren't very many evil baby girls. Uh oh. It would be interesting for it to be a- a gay Evil Baby Orphanage, with lots of gay evil babies. Obviously many evil people in history have been repressed homosexuals, so that could be a direction that we might go, however, I don't really think that I wanna go there. I want there to be female characters, I want there to be female leads, I want there to be, uh, hot chicks in the Evil Baby Orphanage. We need to figure out where an evil female baby would come from. I mean obviously that tension could be there, like there might be three boys for every girl. There has to be at least that one girl. So I think we need to know where the love interests are gonna be, and how to include some female evil babies. I will see ya tomorrow.
First: Katherine is at work, which is weird, because she hasn't been at work in a long time, and I'm all alone in the house all day. Second: You've been married for an entire year! (party blowers) There will be more on that tomorrow. Also, I recently made a video for EcoGeek in which I discussed this silly NASA project that was like a flapping bird plane. I thought it was kinda silly so I made a kinda silly video. Very exciting, the video and story got picked up on Digg and then Gizmodo picked it up and then I started reading the comments and then I realized that everyone was being really mean to me.
Excerpts from the comments:
Interesting: 10 of 10. Informative: 4 of 10. Annoying: 11 of 10.
Dear EcoGeek, you are not ZeFrank. Please stop trying to be.
I want those bird things to be fitted with razor sharp talons, sent to that geek's house and make him pay for that voice over.
Someone please do him the favor of just killing him.
(acts like crying) They're so mean! Why are they all so mean? I mean, what did I ever do to them? Put some razor sharp talons on- show you- not ZeFrank- gonna talon you. To death. Aahh! I wanna go have some chocolate or something. (eats chocolate) I mean, congratulations to me, for having my face all up on Gizmodo, now everybody has to be really mean to me because they're jealous. They're jealous and they don't understand my craft. They're not ready for me yet. They're not ready for what I do. The world isn't ready yet. Give the world a couple more days, and then I'll come back, and they'll understand what I'm trying to do.
Anyway I have good news. There's a new Yahoo site, at Green.Yahoo.com and among content from really amazing famous environmentalists: uhh, NRDC, Amory Lovins, Tree Hugger's got some content on there, World Changing, there is prime featured EcoGeek content. We've been working on this deal for a long time and I haven't been able to talk about it. I wanted to say something to you but I couldn't say anything because it was really secret and I was worried that it wasn't gonna work out. It did work out. It's running and it's up and I'm getting traffic. And it's just really freakin awesome that I am writing, kind of, for Yahoo. And they are sending me lots of Yahoo traffic. So that's some super fricken duper news.
Additionally I, of course, have a couple of things to say about the Evil Baby Orphanage. First: I worry a little bit about discussing the proposal in a public forum. For me one of the biggest thrills of experiencing a book or a movie or a television show are the secrets. You have to put together the pieces of the puzzle slowly to build the picture, and- and we're going to be starting in this proposal, I think, with a fairly complete picture. But I don't want everybody to see that picture first. I wanna- I wanna hide that picture. I'm not- I'm afraid of people seeing that picture. The text based communication thing does make it harder, uhh, to do this, but I think we can. I just don't know how. So here's a start: I'm gonna discuss an issue that I have with this idea without going into plot details. The issue: there aren't very many evil baby girls. Uh oh. It would be interesting for it to be a- a gay Evil Baby Orphanage, with lots of gay evil babies. Obviously many evil people in history have been repressed homosexuals, so that could be a direction that we might go, however, I don't really think that I wanna go there. I want there to be female characters, I want there to be female leads, I want there to be, uh, hot chicks in the Evil Baby Orphanage. We need to figure out where an evil female baby would come from. I mean obviously that tension could be there, like there might be three boys for every girl. There has to be at least that one girl. So I think we need to know where the love interests are gonna be, and how to include some female evil babies. I will see ya tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 3
April 27th: Bad Day,,,
Good morning John, it's Friday, April 29th. There are people walking around upstairs. People I don't know! People interested in buying my house. Today has not been a good day. Today's not been a good day. It's been a bad day. And, I don't know what to do about it. Except, maybe, leave town, which is what Katherine and I are doing shortly. Hoo Hah!
Yeah, there's people looking at the house to see if they wanna buy it and kick us out. (knock knock people enter)
Retail guy: My first of my two stops.
Potential buyers: Hi, how are you? (talk about foundation and leave)
*sigh* bastards! I also had a conference call this morning with one of the websites that I work for, it didn't go exactly as well as I would have liked it to. Um, I would have liked them to have offered me lots of money. And they didn't.
But that's not really why I'm so upset. I design webpages, for a living. It's what I do, I make money, and it allows me to pay bills. It allows me to do Brotherhood 2.0. It allows me to make video blogs, because I don't have to leave the house every day to go to work. It allows me to be here with you. One of my clients isn't paying me. It's been a really long time and they haven't paid me. I just got an email from them, and they said that they're having trouble coming up with the money. Trouble? Coming up with the money? My money? That I gave them months of my life for? They're having a hard time coming up with the money. I WANT MY MONEY! I don't know how this happened, but I need that money, and if you know anybody who is a professional- you know, a professional. It would be nice if you could email me their contact information. Especially because then I would get to punish you.
But there's good news. There's good news. The good news is, that Katherine and I are leaving town, we're going to Helena. To see Neil Gaimen, who I am sure many of the Nerdfighters know. And I will do my best to get a little bit of Neil Gaimen saying hello to John. No guarantees though. Uh, we're also going to visit some friends, and it's very exciting. Other good news: I heard that the Yeti got a job. So did Katherine! And Katherine doesn't have to move to Indianapolis, Indiana to get it! You know, there's generally a reason why houses are almost free in a place. And that reason is generally because a place isn't the best place. Houses are expensive in Missoula because it's the best place. (sigh)
So, now you know. Not been a good day, looking forward to the weekend, congratulations to Katherine. She's gonna be doing weed research (mimes smoking) Yeah, this one's good. Mark that one down good in your notebook. (coughs)
Other good news: Tobais is amazing and made an album of our songs! I'm thinking of a new one for next week, I can't help it. Songs are fun! But, since we're about to leave town, I have to do a bunch of stuff. I have to get EcoGeek all ready to go. I have to pack. Katherine is making sure there's someone to take care of the cat, and the garden. And I need to write. I need to write a lot because I don't wanna lose my job, cause it's the only one I have now. So I have to go!
John, I will see you on Monday, and by then we will all know what happened at the LA Times Book Awards. We don't have any expectations, we're just curious. You can click on the link, down there. And at 8 o'clock Pacific Daylight Time, the winners will be announced and we will all be holding our breath until then. Hopefully John will have footage of the event on Monday, even though it is illegal to bring a video camera into the event, but I have confidence in his smuggling skills.
OK I now really have to go. John, I'll see you on Monday, Hoo Ha!
Yeah, there's people looking at the house to see if they wanna buy it and kick us out. (knock knock people enter)
Retail guy: My first of my two stops.
Potential buyers: Hi, how are you? (talk about foundation and leave)
*sigh* bastards! I also had a conference call this morning with one of the websites that I work for, it didn't go exactly as well as I would have liked it to. Um, I would have liked them to have offered me lots of money. And they didn't.
But that's not really why I'm so upset. I design webpages, for a living. It's what I do, I make money, and it allows me to pay bills. It allows me to do Brotherhood 2.0. It allows me to make video blogs, because I don't have to leave the house every day to go to work. It allows me to be here with you. One of my clients isn't paying me. It's been a really long time and they haven't paid me. I just got an email from them, and they said that they're having trouble coming up with the money. Trouble? Coming up with the money? My money? That I gave them months of my life for? They're having a hard time coming up with the money. I WANT MY MONEY! I don't know how this happened, but I need that money, and if you know anybody who is a professional- you know, a professional. It would be nice if you could email me their contact information. Especially because then I would get to punish you.
But there's good news. There's good news. The good news is, that Katherine and I are leaving town, we're going to Helena. To see Neil Gaimen, who I am sure many of the Nerdfighters know. And I will do my best to get a little bit of Neil Gaimen saying hello to John. No guarantees though. Uh, we're also going to visit some friends, and it's very exciting. Other good news: I heard that the Yeti got a job. So did Katherine! And Katherine doesn't have to move to Indianapolis, Indiana to get it! You know, there's generally a reason why houses are almost free in a place. And that reason is generally because a place isn't the best place. Houses are expensive in Missoula because it's the best place. (sigh)
So, now you know. Not been a good day, looking forward to the weekend, congratulations to Katherine. She's gonna be doing weed research (mimes smoking) Yeah, this one's good. Mark that one down good in your notebook. (coughs)
Other good news: Tobais is amazing and made an album of our songs! I'm thinking of a new one for next week, I can't help it. Songs are fun! But, since we're about to leave town, I have to do a bunch of stuff. I have to get EcoGeek all ready to go. I have to pack. Katherine is making sure there's someone to take care of the cat, and the garden. And I need to write. I need to write a lot because I don't wanna lose my job, cause it's the only one I have now. So I have to go!
John, I will see you on Monday, and by then we will all know what happened at the LA Times Book Awards. We don't have any expectations, we're just curious. You can click on the link, down there. And at 8 o'clock Pacific Daylight Time, the winners will be announced and we will all be holding our breath until then. Hopefully John will have footage of the event on Monday, even though it is illegal to bring a video camera into the event, but I have confidence in his smuggling skills.
OK I now really have to go. John, I'll see you on Monday, Hoo Ha!
Brotherhood 2.0: April 24: Moving
Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday, April 26th. Today's video blog comes in five parts.
Part one: Papa, it's his birthday, you need to call him.
Part two: Speaking of old people, Helen Hunt is on your guilt-free three list? Helen Hunt? Helen Hunt? Hank, I'd just like to remind you that cougar hunting is not legal in the United States. But anyway Hank, you're talking about your celebrity do list, as another commenter called it,
reminded me of number: 3. My own celebrity do list, which I keep, of course, in my copy of How to Be a Lady In Your Pants. Now, let's see if we can find it in here. Ah! There it is. OK, Hank, we have Natalie Portman, perfectly acceptable, Jenna Fischer from The Office. Pam. The only thing I like the idea of more than Pam and Jim getting together? Pam and John getting together. And then of course, we have Judy Blume. I mean, she's cute. She's really cute and one time at a conference she kissed me on the cheek and I liked it and I like her and I'm not gonna talk about it anymore. OK, maybe you get a pass on Helen Hunt.
Part 4: Moving! Hank, I'm sorry to hear that your house is on the block. I have good news though, I think that you should buy a house. But not in Missoula. Specifically I think you should buy a house in Indianapolis, Indiana. You wanna know why? Because I'm moving there. Sarah got a job at the Indianapolis Museum of Art, which is really one of the most exciting contemporary art spaces in America. And we're really psyched to go there, umm, but I'm a little worried because I don't have any friends in Indianapolis, and I think I'm gonna miss New York. Although if you think about it, Indianapolis is like the New York of Indiana. And also I'm told that its got really good urban exploring. Plus yesterday I was looking on the internet and houses in Indianapolis are almost free!
Part five: Hank, I liked your EcoGeek podcast animation introduction so much that I've been thinking that we could have a shorter, more visual animation for Brotherhood 2.0 that maybe doesn't spell communication wrong. Maybe you or one of the Nerdfighters can get on it. I'd do it myself except I'm bad at animating and plus I have to figure out how I'm gonna move to Indianapolis with all of these books. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
Part one: Papa, it's his birthday, you need to call him.
Part two: Speaking of old people, Helen Hunt is on your guilt-free three list? Helen Hunt? Helen Hunt? Hank, I'd just like to remind you that cougar hunting is not legal in the United States. But anyway Hank, you're talking about your celebrity do list, as another commenter called it,
reminded me of number: 3. My own celebrity do list, which I keep, of course, in my copy of How to Be a Lady In Your Pants. Now, let's see if we can find it in here. Ah! There it is. OK, Hank, we have Natalie Portman, perfectly acceptable, Jenna Fischer from The Office. Pam. The only thing I like the idea of more than Pam and Jim getting together? Pam and John getting together. And then of course, we have Judy Blume. I mean, she's cute. She's really cute and one time at a conference she kissed me on the cheek and I liked it and I like her and I'm not gonna talk about it anymore. OK, maybe you get a pass on Helen Hunt.
Part 4: Moving! Hank, I'm sorry to hear that your house is on the block. I have good news though, I think that you should buy a house. But not in Missoula. Specifically I think you should buy a house in Indianapolis, Indiana. You wanna know why? Because I'm moving there. Sarah got a job at the Indianapolis Museum of Art, which is really one of the most exciting contemporary art spaces in America. And we're really psyched to go there, umm, but I'm a little worried because I don't have any friends in Indianapolis, and I think I'm gonna miss New York. Although if you think about it, Indianapolis is like the New York of Indiana. And also I'm told that its got really good urban exploring. Plus yesterday I was looking on the internet and houses in Indianapolis are almost free!
Part five: Hank, I liked your EcoGeek podcast animation introduction so much that I've been thinking that we could have a shorter, more visual animation for Brotherhood 2.0 that maybe doesn't spell communication wrong. Maybe you or one of the Nerdfighters can get on it. I'd do it myself except I'm bad at animating and plus I have to figure out how I'm gonna move to Indianapolis with all of these books. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
April 23rd: Celebrity
Robert Michael Pyle: Hi John, it's Monday April 23rd! (shot of him bowling a strike) And here we are at the Westview Fun Game Place. That's not it! What's it called? Westway Fun Center! Westside fun? (laughs and zooms in on sign behind him that reads Westside Lanes) The fun place in the West!
Hank: What does it feel like when you pick up a spare Bob?
Robert: Well when I pick up a spare it feels even better than writing a good paragraph, and I know, John, you know what that's like.
(at home) That was acclaimed naturalist and award winning nature writer, Robert Michael Pyle. RMP, or Bob, or RobBob as we call him was a visiting professor at my university a couple years ago and I took a class from him. He's an all around super duper guy and is tons of fun to bowl with. He had a lot to do with me becoming a writer, uh, just like you did, so it's nice to kind of introduce you to each other.
John I should let you know that I am extremely proud of your mathematics. That was some excellent calculating you did. You hit it right on the head there, nine hundred and forty something pounds of carbon. Not something I'm necessarily proud of, but our videos have been watched over a hundred thousand times! A hundred thousand times! That's a lot of video watching, something like six thousand hours of people watching our videos!
Hold on, I'm getting my calculator. If we had to actually pay people for the time that they gave us, and we had to pay them minimum wage, it would have cost us over 30,000 dollars. Brotherhood2.0 even without a living wage has cost the world 30,000 dollars of time.
(shows image of giraffe sex) If anyone had ever wondered how, exactly, this works, this is how this works.
(back to Hank) Thank you for that 30,000 dollars of time, we're going to use it to decrease world suck, somehow. Frankly, it's good to know that more hours go onto watching this video than into making it. Someone has asked, in the comments, how long it takes to make one of these videos, and that's kind of hard to say. Because I don't just make the video. I write a story at EcoGeek, and I come back and I record some video, and then I go get some breakfast, and I come back and record some more video. But on the days when I really concentrate, it takes a minimum of two hours. It's good to be appreciated. It's good to be appreciated to the tune of 126 votes at the Bloggers' Choice Awards! Holy Frickin Moly! We are catching up to Youtube!
Now I know that we're not the biggest video blog project out there, but there are a lot of people watching me talk to you, and that's weird. So I want to thank them, and I want to say if you're at Brotherhood 2.0, (points to bottom of screen) right there. Also, there's been a little bit of talk about me being on someone's free pass list. A free pass list is a list of celebrities that you get to do if you ever get the chance to do. First of all, apparently I'm a celebrity, second of all, apparently I'm on someone's free pass list. And people are asking if I'd like to comment on that. I would not- like to comment on that. I'm fine with it. I'm a little bit disappointed that I came in after Brian Setzer. I would like to say to The Yeti, and to Katherine, who I know are watching. John and I don't have free pass lists, except maybe Helen Hunt.
Ehhh, now that I've let that little bit slip, I guess I'll see ya tomorrow.
Hank: What does it feel like when you pick up a spare Bob?
Robert: Well when I pick up a spare it feels even better than writing a good paragraph, and I know, John, you know what that's like.
(at home) That was acclaimed naturalist and award winning nature writer, Robert Michael Pyle. RMP, or Bob, or RobBob as we call him was a visiting professor at my university a couple years ago and I took a class from him. He's an all around super duper guy and is tons of fun to bowl with. He had a lot to do with me becoming a writer, uh, just like you did, so it's nice to kind of introduce you to each other.
John I should let you know that I am extremely proud of your mathematics. That was some excellent calculating you did. You hit it right on the head there, nine hundred and forty something pounds of carbon. Not something I'm necessarily proud of, but our videos have been watched over a hundred thousand times! A hundred thousand times! That's a lot of video watching, something like six thousand hours of people watching our videos!
Hold on, I'm getting my calculator. If we had to actually pay people for the time that they gave us, and we had to pay them minimum wage, it would have cost us over 30,000 dollars. Brotherhood2.0 even without a living wage has cost the world 30,000 dollars of time.
(shows image of giraffe sex) If anyone had ever wondered how, exactly, this works, this is how this works.
(back to Hank) Thank you for that 30,000 dollars of time, we're going to use it to decrease world suck, somehow. Frankly, it's good to know that more hours go onto watching this video than into making it. Someone has asked, in the comments, how long it takes to make one of these videos, and that's kind of hard to say. Because I don't just make the video. I write a story at EcoGeek, and I come back and I record some video, and then I go get some breakfast, and I come back and record some more video. But on the days when I really concentrate, it takes a minimum of two hours. It's good to be appreciated. It's good to be appreciated to the tune of 126 votes at the Bloggers' Choice Awards! Holy Frickin Moly! We are catching up to Youtube!
Now I know that we're not the biggest video blog project out there, but there are a lot of people watching me talk to you, and that's weird. So I want to thank them, and I want to say if you're at Brotherhood 2.0, (points to bottom of screen) right there. Also, there's been a little bit of talk about me being on someone's free pass list. A free pass list is a list of celebrities that you get to do if you ever get the chance to do. First of all, apparently I'm a celebrity, second of all, apparently I'm on someone's free pass list. And people are asking if I'd like to comment on that. I would not- like to comment on that. I'm fine with it. I'm a little bit disappointed that I came in after Brian Setzer. I would like to say to The Yeti, and to Katherine, who I know are watching. John and I don't have free pass lists, except maybe Helen Hunt.
Ehhh, now that I've let that little bit slip, I guess I'll see ya tomorrow.
April 19th: For Sale?!
(Outside) Good morning, John. It's Wednesday, April 19th. That's my house. (bird call) That's Affiliated Woodpecker! (looks up into tree) Where is he? That's nice. What isn't nice? Is what I woke up to find this morning in my front yard (sigh). (pans over to For Sale sign) My house is for sale. How the BLEEP did that happen? That, that's not OK, it's my house. You're not allowed to sell my house, Jack Wade. (sigh) Jack Wade is my landlord, and also Jack Wade works for Lambros Real Estate and sells houses, apparently sometimes he sells the houses that he owns.
(inside) I like this house, this is a great house! It has this cool basement thing, where I can do my videos and work and put anime posters on the walls, and it's like three blocks from five different friends! 515,000 dollars cause it's this house and the house- (phone ring)
(on phone) Hello? OK. Thank you, bye.
(off phone) That was a mortgage broker. That's how I'm feeling about this. 515,000 dollars for this house and the house behind it. He's not selling one house or the other, he's selling both at the same time. Which is pretty annoying, really, because I don't want two houses, I don't really know that I want one house. But I figured I'd try and figure out how much that would cost. I probably should have just asked dad, cause now I'm getting calls from mortgage brokers all the time. They get very excited, they're very nice once you apply for a loan. As if life isn't already complicated enough, right? -love it in Missoula, there's not a lot of work, and the winters kinda suck, like today and yesterday were pretty horrible, so I guess the spring can suck, too. Plus, two of our friends who were maybe gonna move back to town? Aren't gonna move back to town. And that really sucks. The community is great, the people are great. It's a comfortable size for me, I can get my head around it, I know where everything is. Having to look for a new place to live and moving all of our stuff out of this house? That would be a HUGE pain in the ass.
So I dunno, most likely scenario somebody buys the house, and they're glad that there's a renter in it, so that they can keep making money on the rent. We're very up in the air about this place. We're very up in the air about the future of our lives! I mean, where you live is extremely important, and I'm actually really starting to like having some roots here, you know? Being connected with a place, understanding the community. Knowing who to ask about when to plant garlic. Knowing the guy that runs the bookstore and talking to him about you and how great your book is and how much he liked it, and how he always has it featured because its kind of like a local author because his brother lives here. That's the kind of place I like.
I can go down to that bookstore and I can tell you where people live by pointing at books in the local section. One of them? Lives in my backyard! Her house is for sale too! It looks like a pretty interesting book, it's called The God of Animals, and it's about a twelve year old girl, so it's kind of Young Adult, but I think it's being marketed as Adult Fiction. I like it so far, but I'm only through the first couple chapters. What do we DO? What should we doooo? My impulse is to stay. It would help if more people had that impulse cause I'm tired of watching friends leave this town. Well now you know what's going on with me, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Quick unrelated thing: I wouldn't mind some comments or suggestions about this EcoGeek.org video podcast into. (plays)
(inside) I like this house, this is a great house! It has this cool basement thing, where I can do my videos and work and put anime posters on the walls, and it's like three blocks from five different friends! 515,000 dollars cause it's this house and the house- (phone ring)
(on phone) Hello? OK. Thank you, bye.
(off phone) That was a mortgage broker. That's how I'm feeling about this. 515,000 dollars for this house and the house behind it. He's not selling one house or the other, he's selling both at the same time. Which is pretty annoying, really, because I don't want two houses, I don't really know that I want one house. But I figured I'd try and figure out how much that would cost. I probably should have just asked dad, cause now I'm getting calls from mortgage brokers all the time. They get very excited, they're very nice once you apply for a loan. As if life isn't already complicated enough, right? -love it in Missoula, there's not a lot of work, and the winters kinda suck, like today and yesterday were pretty horrible, so I guess the spring can suck, too. Plus, two of our friends who were maybe gonna move back to town? Aren't gonna move back to town. And that really sucks. The community is great, the people are great. It's a comfortable size for me, I can get my head around it, I know where everything is. Having to look for a new place to live and moving all of our stuff out of this house? That would be a HUGE pain in the ass.
So I dunno, most likely scenario somebody buys the house, and they're glad that there's a renter in it, so that they can keep making money on the rent. We're very up in the air about this place. We're very up in the air about the future of our lives! I mean, where you live is extremely important, and I'm actually really starting to like having some roots here, you know? Being connected with a place, understanding the community. Knowing who to ask about when to plant garlic. Knowing the guy that runs the bookstore and talking to him about you and how great your book is and how much he liked it, and how he always has it featured because its kind of like a local author because his brother lives here. That's the kind of place I like.
I can go down to that bookstore and I can tell you where people live by pointing at books in the local section. One of them? Lives in my backyard! Her house is for sale too! It looks like a pretty interesting book, it's called The God of Animals, and it's about a twelve year old girl, so it's kind of Young Adult, but I think it's being marketed as Adult Fiction. I like it so far, but I'm only through the first couple chapters. What do we DO? What should we doooo? My impulse is to stay. It would help if more people had that impulse cause I'm tired of watching friends leave this town. Well now you know what's going on with me, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Quick unrelated thing: I wouldn't mind some comments or suggestions about this EcoGeek.org video podcast into. (plays)
Brotherhood 2.0: April 16: Brotherhood of the Traveling Shirts
Good morning Hank, it's Monday April 16th. Friendly brotherly reminder: your taxes are due tomorrow. Hank, unfortunately I wasn't able to attend any of the Step It Up rallies and I'll tell you why. Instead of protesting carbon consumption, I was myself consuming carbon on a series of airplanes trying to get from San Antonio, Texas to New York City. I eventually got home but unfortunately by then all the Step It Up rallies were finished. I did, however, make a poster: (Shows poster, which says, handwritten on a piece of letter paper: STEP IT UP, CONGRESS! AND ALSO, STEP IT UP, SELF!)
I'm not very good at posters. Hank, just in case you can't read my scribbled handwriting, my poster says, "Step it up, Congress! And also, step it up, self!" Because I feel like I'm also not doing enough in the fight against climate change. And that's why, Hank, you may notice that today the video is a little darker than it usually is: it's because, for the next week, I'm not going to be using any kind of electricity that I don't absolutely have to use. The refrigerator is going to continue to run, my computer is going to continue to run when I need to use it, but I'm not going to use lights unless they are necessary as reading lights in the evening, and I'm not going to watch TV. Except for a couple of really important soccer games.
I'm also going to minimise my use of hot water, which is extremely difficult because, as you know, I like to take baths. Hank, throughout the week I'm going to be doing things to further reduce my carbon emissions, let me know if you have any ideas. Oh, and by the way, I loved your EcoGeek podcast, and look forward to more of them. -o be careful not to cut off the beginning of your sentences.
Guess what I got this weekend at the Texas Library Association convention? (Slowly reveals t-shirt saying NERD FIGHTER) Ooooh yeah! How awesome is this shirt, Hank? It's so awesome that when I looked on the Haines tag in the back it said that it's made out of 80% cotton, 10% polyester and 10% awesome. Thanks to Laura, pictured here, delivering the shirt.
Hank, unfortunately there's only one "Nerdfighter" shirt and I don't want you to be deprived of its awesomeness. So I'm going to propose a custody-sharing arrangement. I'm gonna send you the shirt now, and then maybe you can send it back to me around June or something and then I'll send it back to you, and you'll send it back to... It's kinda like the "Brotherhood of the Travelling Shirt".
After all Hank, what is brotherhood, if not sharing clothes? Remember, we always used to share clothes growing up. Remember that sailor suit that Mom made us? That was cool. That was really cool. Man, no wonder we were nerds.
And finally, Hank, I know this isn't necessarily a political video blog, but there is some Very Exciting Political News going on right now and I can't help but share it with you: Our resident mathematician, Daniel Biss, is running for state representative in the state of Illinois! We're gonna have a resident state representative! He'll be able to pass legislation that's helpful to brothers, and nerds, and Peeps, and video blogs.
His two most important issues? Raising the amount of funding we spend on education in Illinois, which is the 49th state in terms of education - Thank God for Mississippi! - and also cutting carbon emissions. Speaking of carbon emissions, I should shut off this video camera. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and P.S.: To make this sign? I used recycled paper. This is a page from my book, Hank, which I'm just beginning to seriously revise. That process is going to take several months. So expect me to become kind of moody until, say, September.
I'm not very good at posters. Hank, just in case you can't read my scribbled handwriting, my poster says, "Step it up, Congress! And also, step it up, self!" Because I feel like I'm also not doing enough in the fight against climate change. And that's why, Hank, you may notice that today the video is a little darker than it usually is: it's because, for the next week, I'm not going to be using any kind of electricity that I don't absolutely have to use. The refrigerator is going to continue to run, my computer is going to continue to run when I need to use it, but I'm not going to use lights unless they are necessary as reading lights in the evening, and I'm not going to watch TV. Except for a couple of really important soccer games.
I'm also going to minimise my use of hot water, which is extremely difficult because, as you know, I like to take baths. Hank, throughout the week I'm going to be doing things to further reduce my carbon emissions, let me know if you have any ideas. Oh, and by the way, I loved your EcoGeek podcast, and look forward to more of them. -o be careful not to cut off the beginning of your sentences.
Guess what I got this weekend at the Texas Library Association convention? (Slowly reveals t-shirt saying NERD FIGHTER) Ooooh yeah! How awesome is this shirt, Hank? It's so awesome that when I looked on the Haines tag in the back it said that it's made out of 80% cotton, 10% polyester and 10% awesome. Thanks to Laura, pictured here, delivering the shirt.
Hank, unfortunately there's only one "Nerdfighter" shirt and I don't want you to be deprived of its awesomeness. So I'm going to propose a custody-sharing arrangement. I'm gonna send you the shirt now, and then maybe you can send it back to me around June or something and then I'll send it back to you, and you'll send it back to... It's kinda like the "Brotherhood of the Travelling Shirt".
After all Hank, what is brotherhood, if not sharing clothes? Remember, we always used to share clothes growing up. Remember that sailor suit that Mom made us? That was cool. That was really cool. Man, no wonder we were nerds.
And finally, Hank, I know this isn't necessarily a political video blog, but there is some Very Exciting Political News going on right now and I can't help but share it with you: Our resident mathematician, Daniel Biss, is running for state representative in the state of Illinois! We're gonna have a resident state representative! He'll be able to pass legislation that's helpful to brothers, and nerds, and Peeps, and video blogs.
His two most important issues? Raising the amount of funding we spend on education in Illinois, which is the 49th state in terms of education - Thank God for Mississippi! - and also cutting carbon emissions. Speaking of carbon emissions, I should shut off this video camera. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and P.S.: To make this sign? I used recycled paper. This is a page from my book, Hank, which I'm just beginning to seriously revise. That process is going to take several months. So expect me to become kind of moody until, say, September.
April 11th: EcoGeek Podcasting
Good Morning, John. It’s Wednesday, April 11th and I hope you don’t mind if I do something a little bit different today. Last week you showed us a day in the life of John Green. Writing, as writers do. This Week, I would like to show you a little bit about what I do, but not so much by video-taping myself staring at my computer and typing, cause we discovered by watching your video that that wasn’t very interesting. But instead by discussing some of the biggest issues happening in green technology at the moment:
Residents of the virtual world “Second Life” were surprised by floodwaters rising in virtual versions of Tokyo, London and the Netherlands. The floods were caused by global warming activists, but not in the cool hacking the system kind of way, in the really lame asking everybody’s permission and then doing it kind of way.
You might not know this, but there is more silicon purchased by the solar power industry than by the microprocessor industry. That's right, silicon isn’t very easy to make in fact, it's really dangerous and produces a lot of toxic chemicals. Unless you are a marine sponge. Marine sponges are one of the only organisms in the world who can convert aqueous silicon to crystalline silicon. And the sponges do it without producing any toxic chemicals at all. Scientists at the university of California at Santa Barba are figuring out how those sponges are doing it, and they had some success.
When we talk about lighting there are a few things that matter:
1. How bright the light is.
2. How big the light is.
3. How much energy the light uses.
4. How many toxic substances go in to creating the light.
Compact fluorescence were doing pretty good there until number 4 with all their mercury, but now Phillips Electronics has produced the luxion rebel an LED that is tiny, produces tons of light with a little electricity and absolutely no toxic substances. This is great news, until you consider the fifth thing that matters when it comes to lighting and that’s price and this is not very cheap.
I’ve got a lot of these and I'm not proud of it (shows a cd spindle) That's a lot of plastic for very little gain, but some clever guy in some clever place has posted a picture at flickr, of his ingenious use of CD-Spindles. (shows a picture of a sandwich inside a CD-Spindel)
A motorcycle created and maintained by A123-Systems has broken the electric motorcycle speed record once again! The motorcycle is powered by a LOT of lithium-ion batteries and broke the speed record using 10-cents of electricity. That’s pretty good. The bike peaked out at 156 mph and finished the quarter mile in 9 seconds.
The city of Sidney turned off its lights. All of them for an hour last week. And it saved an amount of carbon that sounds very big. Lots of tons of carbon. But mostly it was just a great opportunity to take a pretty picture and say that ‘Australia is doing something’. Even though, they won’t sign onto the Kyoto-Protocol. Not that us Americans can talk.
And that’s the news from Ecogeek.org If you want to find out more details on those stories or read up on more green technology news, check out Ecogeek.org. So what did you think John. Was that.. was that, like, was that good? You liked that? I’m thinking about doing a podcast for ecogeek and I wanted to try it out. Any opinion is appreciated. Cool. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Residents of the virtual world “Second Life” were surprised by floodwaters rising in virtual versions of Tokyo, London and the Netherlands. The floods were caused by global warming activists, but not in the cool hacking the system kind of way, in the really lame asking everybody’s permission and then doing it kind of way.
You might not know this, but there is more silicon purchased by the solar power industry than by the microprocessor industry. That's right, silicon isn’t very easy to make in fact, it's really dangerous and produces a lot of toxic chemicals. Unless you are a marine sponge. Marine sponges are one of the only organisms in the world who can convert aqueous silicon to crystalline silicon. And the sponges do it without producing any toxic chemicals at all. Scientists at the university of California at Santa Barba are figuring out how those sponges are doing it, and they had some success.
When we talk about lighting there are a few things that matter:
1. How bright the light is.
2. How big the light is.
3. How much energy the light uses.
4. How many toxic substances go in to creating the light.
Compact fluorescence were doing pretty good there until number 4 with all their mercury, but now Phillips Electronics has produced the luxion rebel an LED that is tiny, produces tons of light with a little electricity and absolutely no toxic substances. This is great news, until you consider the fifth thing that matters when it comes to lighting and that’s price and this is not very cheap.
I’ve got a lot of these and I'm not proud of it (shows a cd spindle) That's a lot of plastic for very little gain, but some clever guy in some clever place has posted a picture at flickr, of his ingenious use of CD-Spindles. (shows a picture of a sandwich inside a CD-Spindel)
A motorcycle created and maintained by A123-Systems has broken the electric motorcycle speed record once again! The motorcycle is powered by a LOT of lithium-ion batteries and broke the speed record using 10-cents of electricity. That’s pretty good. The bike peaked out at 156 mph and finished the quarter mile in 9 seconds.
The city of Sidney turned off its lights. All of them for an hour last week. And it saved an amount of carbon that sounds very big. Lots of tons of carbon. But mostly it was just a great opportunity to take a pretty picture and say that ‘Australia is doing something’. Even though, they won’t sign onto the Kyoto-Protocol. Not that us Americans can talk.
And that’s the news from Ecogeek.org If you want to find out more details on those stories or read up on more green technology news, check out Ecogeek.org. So what did you think John. Was that.. was that, like, was that good? You liked that? I’m thinking about doing a podcast for ecogeek and I wanted to try it out. Any opinion is appreciated. Cool. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 2
March 22nd: Book Club and Business Cards
(Hank has a box made of misprinted EcoGeek business cards on his head) Good morning, John. It’s Thursday, March 22nd. I just mixed a Misprinted Business Card Utilization idea with putting stuff on my head. Now all I have to do is put a misprinted business card in my pants and then put my pants on my head. Hmmm? (holds up box; puts box in pants; puts pants on head) So, I haven’t figured out what I’m gonna talk about today. Well, first I have to show you how I made this misprinted business card utilization idea. And second, I think I’m going to talk about my new edition to the Brotherhood 2.0 Book Club. (pants slide off head; shakes head)
A very long time ago a commenter suggested that I make a cube out of my misprinted business cards. And I thought he was kind of crazy. But then I realized all I needed was a little magic. (waves fingers in midair; business cards fly up and form into a perfect box) Okay, actually he sent me to a tutorial. You need six business cards. You actually will eventually need twelve, but start with six. They all have to be the exact same size, which is fine for me because all of mine are the same size.
Then, you take one and you bend it over the other (demonstrates). You end up with these little cups. You have to combine them using a lot of manual dexterity. Put them together (builds box) This is half the cube…this is when it starts to get really hard. Get this on camera because you have to hold everything while you’re doing it. one more piece and the cube will be done. Voila! Suddenly a surprisingly sturdy cube. Now, this is kind of ugly. What the tutorial advises is that you use these flappy things, here and here, and you use other little cups that you’ve made, and you slide them into your flappy things like so (demonstrates). Your face becomes a flat, pretty face instead of these tabby, ugly faces. So, now you just do that six times, and you’ve got this! (complete box) This is a beautiful little EcoGeek cube, that I’ve used now in my intros to my EcoGeek videos, which you will soon be able to see on ecogeek.org.
Now, everyone knows that I had to read We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with our Families. You didn’t have to read anything because the book I made you read was your book that you were writing because you needed to finish your book because you were past your deadline. Plus, all the people who watch Brotherhood 2.0 are John Green fans, and I think they would all hate me if I stood between you and finishing your book. So I’ve decided that you should read (holds the book up) World Changing: A User’s Guide to the 21st Century. Yes, it is this big. Yes, I am kidding. I considered having you read The God Delusion, but I think maybe that would be a little too inflammatory. So, instead, I’m asking you to read Bill McKibben’s new book, Deep Economy. Because I run EcoGeek, I’m getting a free copy of Deep Economy, and I’ll be reading it too because I’m probably going to be interviewing the author for my website. And it’d be good to know what the book's about first, and I’d like to talk about it with you before the interview, if possible, before the interview.
(with a tan purse on his head) Thank you to everyone who has taken my plea to put stuff on your heads so seriously. I really do believe that this is, at least in part, an opportunity to decrease WorldSuck. (turns head sideways) I look like a Trojan! (raises arm, pretending to carry a spear, trumpets) Doo-doo-doo-doo!
I hope you all won’t think I’m selfish when I say this. I mean, it’s great to see John with dumb stuff on his head, and I do like putting stuff on my own head, but I kind of want to see stuff on your head. So maybe we could set something up where people could send us pictures of stuff on their heads. And videos, and videos of stuff on their heads! And people doing stuff while stuff is on their heads! Yes, yes, I think this is a good idea. Anyhow, I’ll see ya' morrow.
A very long time ago a commenter suggested that I make a cube out of my misprinted business cards. And I thought he was kind of crazy. But then I realized all I needed was a little magic. (waves fingers in midair; business cards fly up and form into a perfect box) Okay, actually he sent me to a tutorial. You need six business cards. You actually will eventually need twelve, but start with six. They all have to be the exact same size, which is fine for me because all of mine are the same size.
Then, you take one and you bend it over the other (demonstrates). You end up with these little cups. You have to combine them using a lot of manual dexterity. Put them together (builds box) This is half the cube…this is when it starts to get really hard. Get this on camera because you have to hold everything while you’re doing it. one more piece and the cube will be done. Voila! Suddenly a surprisingly sturdy cube. Now, this is kind of ugly. What the tutorial advises is that you use these flappy things, here and here, and you use other little cups that you’ve made, and you slide them into your flappy things like so (demonstrates). Your face becomes a flat, pretty face instead of these tabby, ugly faces. So, now you just do that six times, and you’ve got this! (complete box) This is a beautiful little EcoGeek cube, that I’ve used now in my intros to my EcoGeek videos, which you will soon be able to see on ecogeek.org.
Now, everyone knows that I had to read We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with our Families. You didn’t have to read anything because the book I made you read was your book that you were writing because you needed to finish your book because you were past your deadline. Plus, all the people who watch Brotherhood 2.0 are John Green fans, and I think they would all hate me if I stood between you and finishing your book. So I’ve decided that you should read (holds the book up) World Changing: A User’s Guide to the 21st Century. Yes, it is this big. Yes, I am kidding. I considered having you read The God Delusion, but I think maybe that would be a little too inflammatory. So, instead, I’m asking you to read Bill McKibben’s new book, Deep Economy. Because I run EcoGeek, I’m getting a free copy of Deep Economy, and I’ll be reading it too because I’m probably going to be interviewing the author for my website. And it’d be good to know what the book's about first, and I’d like to talk about it with you before the interview, if possible, before the interview.
(with a tan purse on his head) Thank you to everyone who has taken my plea to put stuff on your heads so seriously. I really do believe that this is, at least in part, an opportunity to decrease WorldSuck. (turns head sideways) I look like a Trojan! (raises arm, pretending to carry a spear, trumpets) Doo-doo-doo-doo!
I hope you all won’t think I’m selfish when I say this. I mean, it’s great to see John with dumb stuff on his head, and I do like putting stuff on my own head, but I kind of want to see stuff on your head. So maybe we could set something up where people could send us pictures of stuff on their heads. And videos, and videos of stuff on their heads! And people doing stuff while stuff is on their heads! Yes, yes, I think this is a good idea. Anyhow, I’ll see ya' morrow.
Brotherhood 2.0: March 1, 2007: Sophistication. And balls.
Good morning, Hank. It’s Thursday, March 1st; we’re one sixth of the way done. Today’s video comes in four parts. Part one: presents. Part two: sophistication. Part three: balls. Part four: presidential politics. Yeah, I said balls.
Part one: presents. Hank, I want to thank you for completing the picture book project. It really kind of made my day and it felt like you were giving me a present. I feel like I haven’t given you many presents during the making of this video blog and it makes me kind of sad, although it occurs to me that it’s kind of a present when I physically hurt myself because, let’s face it, brothers like to see that stuff. Plus, there’s the small matter of Christmas 2000, when I bought you a DVD player for Christmas and you bought me two pairs of white tube socks. I feel like you’re still making up for that. (John now has eight ecogeek business cards taped to his face.) Anyway, Hank, I want you to know that I’m definitely going to try harder to give you presents on this video blog in the future.
Part two: sophistication. Hank, in the first two months of our video blog we’ve managed to mention most of the major bodily functions. Anyway, I was thinking we should increase the sophistication factor of Brotherhood 2.0. And that is why, today, I’m implementing a program to read James Joyce’s entire Ulysses to you out loud thirty seconds at a time starting now. (Reading from Ulysses) Stately, plum Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air.
(Book down) Okay, that’s boring. Part three: balls. Hank, your video on Monday where you had the gigantic blob of earwax removed from your ear got me to thinking a lot about the world’s largest balls. What I’m thinking is this: if you work hard and stay committed, you could potentially accrue the world’s largest ball of earwax by the end of 2007. Now, of course, it wouldn’t just be your earwax. We would also have to get help from our viewers. They would send you their earwax and their friends would send you their earwax, and then finally you would mold it together and turn it into the world’s largest ball of earwax. Believe me, Hank, this is practical. I’m a connoisseur of the world’s largest balls. I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of twine, I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of paint, and I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of stamps. And the world’s largest ball of earwax is just out there, waiting to be sculpted.
Part four: presidential politics. Hank, I have a question for you. Should Brotherhood 2.0 endorse a presidential candidate? If so, should we endorse a presidential candidate in the primary? I think the answers to these questions are yes, and yes. And Barack Obama. What do you think the answers are?
(John has cards on face again) This feels kind of good actually.
(singing) I’m being Hank for a day
Part one: presents. Hank, I want to thank you for completing the picture book project. It really kind of made my day and it felt like you were giving me a present. I feel like I haven’t given you many presents during the making of this video blog and it makes me kind of sad, although it occurs to me that it’s kind of a present when I physically hurt myself because, let’s face it, brothers like to see that stuff. Plus, there’s the small matter of Christmas 2000, when I bought you a DVD player for Christmas and you bought me two pairs of white tube socks. I feel like you’re still making up for that. (John now has eight ecogeek business cards taped to his face.) Anyway, Hank, I want you to know that I’m definitely going to try harder to give you presents on this video blog in the future.
Part two: sophistication. Hank, in the first two months of our video blog we’ve managed to mention most of the major bodily functions. Anyway, I was thinking we should increase the sophistication factor of Brotherhood 2.0. And that is why, today, I’m implementing a program to read James Joyce’s entire Ulysses to you out loud thirty seconds at a time starting now. (Reading from Ulysses) Stately, plum Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air.
(Book down) Okay, that’s boring. Part three: balls. Hank, your video on Monday where you had the gigantic blob of earwax removed from your ear got me to thinking a lot about the world’s largest balls. What I’m thinking is this: if you work hard and stay committed, you could potentially accrue the world’s largest ball of earwax by the end of 2007. Now, of course, it wouldn’t just be your earwax. We would also have to get help from our viewers. They would send you their earwax and their friends would send you their earwax, and then finally you would mold it together and turn it into the world’s largest ball of earwax. Believe me, Hank, this is practical. I’m a connoisseur of the world’s largest balls. I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of twine, I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of paint, and I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of stamps. And the world’s largest ball of earwax is just out there, waiting to be sculpted.
Part four: presidential politics. Hank, I have a question for you. Should Brotherhood 2.0 endorse a presidential candidate? If so, should we endorse a presidential candidate in the primary? I think the answers to these questions are yes, and yes. And Barack Obama. What do you think the answers are?
(John has cards on face again) This feels kind of good actually.
(singing) I’m being Hank for a day
I’m being Hank for a day.
I live in Montana and rarely shower.
I’m always blogging about solar power.
Oh, I’m being Hank for a day!
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Hey, Hank, something just occurred to me. Did I never get you a wedding present? If so, please put the word myriad in your next video.
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Hey, Hank, something just occurred to me. Did I never get you a wedding present? If so, please put the word myriad in your next video.
Brotherhood 2.0: February 16th
Hank: Okay, my assignment for the day is to complete my own survey, and I have to do it really fast, so, I’m just gonna start.
(Questions are spoken in a fast forward chipmunk voice. Answers are spoken quickly)
How long have you known Hank and Katherine?
I’ve known Katherine for about nine years, now, which is, by my reckoning, a very long time. I’ve known myself for as long as a self knows itself.
What do you want from us?
From Katherine, I want nothing more than what she gives. From me, I want maybe a little bit more self-restraint and a Nintendo Wii.
What are you doing? Please be as specific as possible.
I’m making a Brotherhood 2.0 video, which is a part of the Brotherhood 2.0 project, which is a weird thing that I’m doing with my brother. It involves posting a lot of video blogs on the internet. I’m also writing ecogeek.org, which is a blog for environmental technologies. And I’m running my own web design and development business. And I’m also trying to be a freelance writer. (holds up magazine) Look! I’m in this month’s edition of mental_floss.
How long do you think you will be doing it?
Well, the video blog is another eleven months, yikes. I’ll probably be doing be doing web development for the rest of my life, and I hope to be writing for about that long, too.
What do you want to be doing?
Pretty much exactly what I’m doing, which is really lucky and amazing and for the first time I’ve ever been able to say that.
What’s next in your life?
Oh, hopefully, you know, fame and fortune. But, probably, content in obscurity.
How you doing?
Up to this point, I’ve kind of lived my life just going with the flow, you know, whichever way. But now, for the first time in my life I feel like I’ve got a paddle, and I’m beatin’ bad people over the head with it.
What’s the best book you’ve read this year?
I hate this question! Umm, serious fiction: The Memory of Whiteness. For funny fiction: Going Postal. For non-fiction: Last Child of the Woods.
Describe your perfect day.
(in high voice) Oh my God, I have to do this really quick! (normally) Wake up and check my email and discover that I’ve become famous for something that I did that’s really interesting and really cool and I’m really proud of. Go have a nice poop. Go to the beach, where it is warm and sunny and Katherine is wearing a bikini. Go hiking by a cool mountain stream. Then, for lunch, have something that I’ve never had before but which is amazingly good. Spend some time surfing, which I’ve never done before, but am suddenly extremely good at. Eat a late dinner at the Red Bird restaurant in Montana. Walk out the front door and find that everyone I know is having a block party in the alley behind the Florence Hotel. Join them.
Assuming that all things come to an end, how will humans go extinct?
I actually think that I’m an optimist when it comes to people going extinct. I think we will eventually tire of procreation and find new ways of existing that don’t involve mass slaughters and resource depletions.
How do you feel about kids these days?
Well…there’s a lot of cute ones around, and I like them. But they drool a lot and I really, really, really, really don’t want to get one myself.
In this space, compose your own question and answer it.
This is the question that I never ask because I can never find the answer to it myself. But, this year I can! What’s the best song you heard this year? Far and away, Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy.” Much better than anything he’s ever done, oh my God!
Ambrosia tastes better than anything else. What does ambrosia taste like?
Uh, like a hot dog with a stick in it, dipped in some corn batter and then…and, like, deep-fri…wait…no. Oh. Uh. Nevermind.
If you were a cliché, what cliché would you be?
Uh, either an absent-minded professor or a kid in a candy store. Which is pretty much how I feel when I’m in the zone on the internet. So, maybe absent-minded kid in a candy store.
What’s your least favorite part of any given day?
Almost invariably getting out of bed.
Do you enjoy science fiction?
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yesyesyesyesyes.
Cheese or chocolate?
Chocolate, because it’s more advanced. It’s more difficult, it’s more new and fresh and complex.
Where would you live if you could live anywhere?
Under the sea? (sings) Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me. Or maybe Mars. Umm, or maybe in a small town in Montana, or maybe in a small town in the southeastern United States. As long as all my friends were there.
What was your first concert?
The, ah, B-52s.
If you could start a business that would be instantly successful, what business would it be?
Definitely a magazine about environmental technologies, because if my business was instantly successful, then that would be really great!
Invisibility or time travel?
Definitely time travel. I don’t believe anybody’s had invisibility because time travel is… you can definitely do everything that you could do with invisibility and more. As long as I don’t have any chances of ripping shreds in space/time continuums.
What’s wrong with the world?
An underabundance of Katherines. So, yeah, definitely overpopulation: too many people. But, I really don’t want anybody to die, so I really think we should lay the blame somewhere else. Like, like, brains hardwired for a local concern in a world of global consequences. That one sounds good.
Can I put this survey on my webpage?
Abso-frickin’-lutely. (does happy dance)
Done-done-done-done-done-done-done-done-done-done-Done! The survey section of this video was only three minutes and twenty-seven seconds. You can time it! So don’t go telling me that I didn’t complete the challenge just because this video is longer than three minutes and thirty seconds. I’ll see you on Monday!
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) I’ve submitted an uncompleted version of this survey to the comments of all the different places where you might find this video. All of our videos who made this challenge up for me, I would like to invite you to complete the survey yourselves. In a text-based form, in a video form, in whatever form you like. Or not at all, that’s fine, too. But I wanted to give you the chance, in case you wanted to. Also, so you could decipher if you can’t quite understand what that chipmunk is saying.
(Questions are spoken in a fast forward chipmunk voice. Answers are spoken quickly)
How long have you known Hank and Katherine?
I’ve known Katherine for about nine years, now, which is, by my reckoning, a very long time. I’ve known myself for as long as a self knows itself.
What do you want from us?
From Katherine, I want nothing more than what she gives. From me, I want maybe a little bit more self-restraint and a Nintendo Wii.
What are you doing? Please be as specific as possible.
I’m making a Brotherhood 2.0 video, which is a part of the Brotherhood 2.0 project, which is a weird thing that I’m doing with my brother. It involves posting a lot of video blogs on the internet. I’m also writing ecogeek.org, which is a blog for environmental technologies. And I’m running my own web design and development business. And I’m also trying to be a freelance writer. (holds up magazine) Look! I’m in this month’s edition of mental_floss.
How long do you think you will be doing it?
Well, the video blog is another eleven months, yikes. I’ll probably be doing be doing web development for the rest of my life, and I hope to be writing for about that long, too.
What do you want to be doing?
Pretty much exactly what I’m doing, which is really lucky and amazing and for the first time I’ve ever been able to say that.
What’s next in your life?
Oh, hopefully, you know, fame and fortune. But, probably, content in obscurity.
How you doing?
Up to this point, I’ve kind of lived my life just going with the flow, you know, whichever way. But now, for the first time in my life I feel like I’ve got a paddle, and I’m beatin’ bad people over the head with it.
What’s the best book you’ve read this year?
I hate this question! Umm, serious fiction: The Memory of Whiteness. For funny fiction: Going Postal. For non-fiction: Last Child of the Woods.
Describe your perfect day.
(in high voice) Oh my God, I have to do this really quick! (normally) Wake up and check my email and discover that I’ve become famous for something that I did that’s really interesting and really cool and I’m really proud of. Go have a nice poop. Go to the beach, where it is warm and sunny and Katherine is wearing a bikini. Go hiking by a cool mountain stream. Then, for lunch, have something that I’ve never had before but which is amazingly good. Spend some time surfing, which I’ve never done before, but am suddenly extremely good at. Eat a late dinner at the Red Bird restaurant in Montana. Walk out the front door and find that everyone I know is having a block party in the alley behind the Florence Hotel. Join them.
Assuming that all things come to an end, how will humans go extinct?
I actually think that I’m an optimist when it comes to people going extinct. I think we will eventually tire of procreation and find new ways of existing that don’t involve mass slaughters and resource depletions.
How do you feel about kids these days?
Well…there’s a lot of cute ones around, and I like them. But they drool a lot and I really, really, really, really don’t want to get one myself.
In this space, compose your own question and answer it.
This is the question that I never ask because I can never find the answer to it myself. But, this year I can! What’s the best song you heard this year? Far and away, Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy.” Much better than anything he’s ever done, oh my God!
Ambrosia tastes better than anything else. What does ambrosia taste like?
Uh, like a hot dog with a stick in it, dipped in some corn batter and then…and, like, deep-fri…wait…no. Oh. Uh. Nevermind.
If you were a cliché, what cliché would you be?
Uh, either an absent-minded professor or a kid in a candy store. Which is pretty much how I feel when I’m in the zone on the internet. So, maybe absent-minded kid in a candy store.
What’s your least favorite part of any given day?
Almost invariably getting out of bed.
Do you enjoy science fiction?
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yesyesyesyesyes.
Cheese or chocolate?
Chocolate, because it’s more advanced. It’s more difficult, it’s more new and fresh and complex.
Where would you live if you could live anywhere?
Under the sea? (sings) Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me. Or maybe Mars. Umm, or maybe in a small town in Montana, or maybe in a small town in the southeastern United States. As long as all my friends were there.
What was your first concert?
The, ah, B-52s.
If you could start a business that would be instantly successful, what business would it be?
Definitely a magazine about environmental technologies, because if my business was instantly successful, then that would be really great!
Invisibility or time travel?
Definitely time travel. I don’t believe anybody’s had invisibility because time travel is… you can definitely do everything that you could do with invisibility and more. As long as I don’t have any chances of ripping shreds in space/time continuums.
What’s wrong with the world?
An underabundance of Katherines. So, yeah, definitely overpopulation: too many people. But, I really don’t want anybody to die, so I really think we should lay the blame somewhere else. Like, like, brains hardwired for a local concern in a world of global consequences. That one sounds good.
Can I put this survey on my webpage?
Abso-frickin’-lutely. (does happy dance)
Done-done-done-done-done-done-done-done-done-done-Done! The survey section of this video was only three minutes and twenty-seven seconds. You can time it! So don’t go telling me that I didn’t complete the challenge just because this video is longer than three minutes and thirty seconds. I’ll see you on Monday!
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) I’ve submitted an uncompleted version of this survey to the comments of all the different places where you might find this video. All of our videos who made this challenge up for me, I would like to invite you to complete the survey yourselves. In a text-based form, in a video form, in whatever form you like. Or not at all, that’s fine, too. But I wanted to give you the chance, in case you wanted to. Also, so you could decipher if you can’t quite understand what that chipmunk is saying.
Brotherhood 2.0: January 17th
(Hank has business cards under his glasses.) Good morning John, it's Wednesday, January 17th.
(Back to normal) Hi Maureen Johnson and E. Lockhart! Maureen...is that the Maureen that told me to build a business card house out of my misprinted business cards? If it is, then I have a surprise for her! Last night, I spent two hours talking to a Libertarian on the internet. He was a friend of mine from high school and I don't know what happened. He says there shouldn't be regulations on nuclear power plants! Last night, I also blew my nose for fifteen straight minutes, and then at the end of it I had converted six ounces of toilet paper into two pounds of mushy goo, but now I can do this! (breathes in through nose deeply) Ah.
I'm just going to jump right into Misprinted Business Card Utilization ideas. Maureen from the comments suggested that I build a business card house. I didn't know how to build card houses so I went on the internet and did some research. There's the basic card house, where you use (demonstrates with cards) this and this and you stack until it gets high up, but that's not the best way to build card houses it turns out. I found out the way that the professional card stackers do it. And now, I'm going to teach you and all of our viewers how to stack cards, the AWESOME WAY.
(Does what he describes with cards) We create a T. And we lean this card, on this card, thus stabilizing this card, and this card.
(Hank from another clip) Is that guy wearing jammie pants?
(back to card house) And this guy on this guy.
(Hank from another clip) Yes, that guy is wearing jammie pants! It's early and I'm sick and tired, okay?
(back to card house) And you lean this guy on that guy, then you lean this guy on that guy. Here we've got the first story of a really good card house. And now we add the roof; this is important because we're going to be stacking more stories on it. Viola! And there we have the first story of a card house. (continues to build it to four stories in fast motion with squeaky speeded voice.) Let us take a look at this thing of beauty. An excellent Misprinted Business Card Utilization idea; especially because now I know how to stack cards! And hopefully, so do you. So, I can't just let this go, I'm going to have to try and add another story. (card house falls apart)
(Back to normal) Hi Maureen Johnson and E. Lockhart! Maureen...is that the Maureen that told me to build a business card house out of my misprinted business cards? If it is, then I have a surprise for her! Last night, I spent two hours talking to a Libertarian on the internet. He was a friend of mine from high school and I don't know what happened. He says there shouldn't be regulations on nuclear power plants! Last night, I also blew my nose for fifteen straight minutes, and then at the end of it I had converted six ounces of toilet paper into two pounds of mushy goo, but now I can do this! (breathes in through nose deeply) Ah.
I'm just going to jump right into Misprinted Business Card Utilization ideas. Maureen from the comments suggested that I build a business card house. I didn't know how to build card houses so I went on the internet and did some research. There's the basic card house, where you use (demonstrates with cards) this and this and you stack until it gets high up, but that's not the best way to build card houses it turns out. I found out the way that the professional card stackers do it. And now, I'm going to teach you and all of our viewers how to stack cards, the AWESOME WAY.
(Does what he describes with cards) We create a T. And we lean this card, on this card, thus stabilizing this card, and this card.
(Hank from another clip) Is that guy wearing jammie pants?
(back to card house) And this guy on this guy.
(Hank from another clip) Yes, that guy is wearing jammie pants! It's early and I'm sick and tired, okay?
(back to card house) And you lean this guy on that guy, then you lean this guy on that guy. Here we've got the first story of a really good card house. And now we add the roof; this is important because we're going to be stacking more stories on it. Viola! And there we have the first story of a card house. (continues to build it to four stories in fast motion with squeaky speeded voice.) Let us take a look at this thing of beauty. An excellent Misprinted Business Card Utilization idea; especially because now I know how to stack cards! And hopefully, so do you. So, I can't just let this go, I'm going to have to try and add another story. (card house falls apart)
Brotherhood 2.0: January 16, 2007
Maureen Johnson and E. Lockhart: Good morning Hank!
(back to John) Those are world-famous writers Maureen Johnson and E. Lockhart. By the way, the Brotherhood 2.0 website looks awesome. It's 6:30 in the morning, I am extremely and I have a long day of writing ahead of me. (Rubs eyes, then shakes face) So we're gonna make this quick, and we're gonna do it school style. First period: Math. I would like to briefly explain the 70/42 mishap. What happened was that I incorrectly believed, and indeed have always believed, that each minute contains one-hundred seconds. Were that to be true, there would be 70 five second segments in each three minute and thirty second period. It turns out, and this is extraordinarily difficult news for me to accept, that each minute only contains sixty seconds, and therefore there's 42 five second segments in three minute and thirty second period. This is a tragedy not only for the American minute, but also for me personally. It makes the fact that my first draft of my new novel is due in eight thousand, six hundred and forty minutes, forty percent more terrifying.
Second period: it's supposed to be History but your teacher is lazy and all you ever do is watch TV shows he taped. Hank, I feel like one of my duties to you as the brother who does own a working television, is to keep you informed periodically about what's going on in the world of entertainment. Paula Abdul has a drug problem. Ivanka Trump is improbably attractive.
Period Three: Physical Education. Hank, the Bears are just one game away from the Superbowl, and if I have my way I will be filming Brotherhood 2.0 from the Superbowl.
Fourth Period: English. Hank, your Battle of the Books inspired me to have my own Battle of the Books because I thought that your Battle of the Books was hilarious, and then I thought maybe my Battle of the Books could be kind of like a pale imitation and people would laugh and say "well, it's good, but it's not as funny as Hank's" and you know, that's pretty much my goal with this thing.
Round one: The American edition of Looking for Alaska versus the Dutch edition of Looking for Alaska. (uses the books as puppets)
American: Hey, how's it goin?
Dutch: OK, how are you?
American: Hey, why don't you have an accent?
Dutch: Uh, I don't, I don't do accents, I think they're weird.
American: AAAHHHRRRAAARAARAA (Slams into Dutch one, stands on top of other) Sigh.
(in high voice): Oh wait, no! It's the Danish edition of Looking for Alaska! Dodadoodadoodadooo
And the British edition! Wait are the British on the American side? Or are they on the Dutch side? Oh my God, they're for Europe, not America! (Both double team and slam on the American)
(cuts back to John) It wasn't until I started editing that that I realized- Oh my God, I am such a loser. I can't even bring myself to show you the Hemingway versus Faulkner one, it's even more embarrassing.
Announcements: Hank, could you possibly mail me some of the misprinted EcoGeek business cards, just like, five of them? Thanks. You can get my address from Mom and Dad. Also, can we agree to have our Happy Dance compilation video done around the end of February? (slaps face/ shakes shoulders/ rubs hand in hair) OK, OK OK big day big day big day big day. 2,000 words, 2,000 words 2,000 words, 2,000 words. OK, I'm gonna go back to bed.
(back to John) Those are world-famous writers Maureen Johnson and E. Lockhart. By the way, the Brotherhood 2.0 website looks awesome. It's 6:30 in the morning, I am extremely and I have a long day of writing ahead of me. (Rubs eyes, then shakes face) So we're gonna make this quick, and we're gonna do it school style. First period: Math. I would like to briefly explain the 70/42 mishap. What happened was that I incorrectly believed, and indeed have always believed, that each minute contains one-hundred seconds. Were that to be true, there would be 70 five second segments in each three minute and thirty second period. It turns out, and this is extraordinarily difficult news for me to accept, that each minute only contains sixty seconds, and therefore there's 42 five second segments in three minute and thirty second period. This is a tragedy not only for the American minute, but also for me personally. It makes the fact that my first draft of my new novel is due in eight thousand, six hundred and forty minutes, forty percent more terrifying.
Second period: it's supposed to be History but your teacher is lazy and all you ever do is watch TV shows he taped. Hank, I feel like one of my duties to you as the brother who does own a working television, is to keep you informed periodically about what's going on in the world of entertainment. Paula Abdul has a drug problem. Ivanka Trump is improbably attractive.
Period Three: Physical Education. Hank, the Bears are just one game away from the Superbowl, and if I have my way I will be filming Brotherhood 2.0 from the Superbowl.
Fourth Period: English. Hank, your Battle of the Books inspired me to have my own Battle of the Books because I thought that your Battle of the Books was hilarious, and then I thought maybe my Battle of the Books could be kind of like a pale imitation and people would laugh and say "well, it's good, but it's not as funny as Hank's" and you know, that's pretty much my goal with this thing.
Round one: The American edition of Looking for Alaska versus the Dutch edition of Looking for Alaska. (uses the books as puppets)
American: Hey, how's it goin?
Dutch: OK, how are you?
American: Hey, why don't you have an accent?
Dutch: Uh, I don't, I don't do accents, I think they're weird.
American: AAAHHHRRRAAARAARAA (Slams into Dutch one, stands on top of other) Sigh.
(in high voice): Oh wait, no! It's the Danish edition of Looking for Alaska! Dodadoodadoodadooo
And the British edition! Wait are the British on the American side? Or are they on the Dutch side? Oh my God, they're for Europe, not America! (Both double team and slam on the American)
(cuts back to John) It wasn't until I started editing that that I realized- Oh my God, I am such a loser. I can't even bring myself to show you the Hemingway versus Faulkner one, it's even more embarrassing.
Announcements: Hank, could you possibly mail me some of the misprinted EcoGeek business cards, just like, five of them? Thanks. You can get my address from Mom and Dad. Also, can we agree to have our Happy Dance compilation video done around the end of February? (slaps face/ shakes shoulders/ rubs hand in hair) OK, OK OK big day big day big day big day. 2,000 words, 2,000 words 2,000 words, 2,000 words. OK, I'm gonna go back to bed.
Brotherhood 2.0: January 15th
Good morning John, it's Monday, January 15th, and I'm sitting in front of the new Brotherhood 2.0 website which you can find at Brotherhood2.com. I'd appreciate any suggestions or comments. The podcast isn't quite working, but we'll get there.
Well, I'm feeling better. I'm not feeling great. But now I've got this voice, it's like not so much of a voice, it's just little popping noises. Aaaaaahh. One of the advantages is that I'm kind of a baritone now. I guess I'm usually a baritone, but maybe I'm a bass? Maybe I'm a bass now.
(sings low) Do not forsake me though you know I must spend...
So I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday. I had to walk up to the lady at the desk because I didn't know where they would keep this book, and I had to say, "I'm looking for a book, it's called We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families," and she said "That's catchy!" So I brought the book home, and then something interesting happened: (uses books as puppets and makes them fight, We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families beats Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. All the other ones then gang up on it, and squash it.)
So yeah, it didn't happen. Um, I'm not saying that the Brotherhood 2.0 book club is not a good idea, I'm just saying that right now I'm going to have to avoid your genocide book for a little while. And when I say a little while, I mean, like, less than a week. So I'll probably start it for Brotherhood 2.0 Friday.
Brotherhood 2.0 Agreement Moment! That's right, John and I agreed on something! I think it's a great idea for us for us to do our happy dances for three minutes and thirty seconds. That sounds like a perfect Brotherhood 2.0 project idea! I don't have Daniel Biss, but I do this. (calculator) It's what the University of Montana gave me for all of my hard work. 3.5 minutes times sixty seconds in a minute divided by five seconds per clip is 42 (shows calculator).
Now there are several amazing things about this idea: First, is that you got the math really, very wrong. Second remarkable thing about this idea is that Daniel Biss commented within like, three seconds of you posting the video and told you that you were wrong. It must be very convenient to have your own personal mathematician. I gotta get me one of those! Last, and most remarkable about this idea is that we now know the question. What are you talking about? Oh, sorry! Well, the answer to life, the universe, and everything is forty-two, right? So the question must be, "How many happy dance clips does it take to fill up a Brotherhood 2.0 segment?"
We really are doing some amazing things here.
I've been very impressed by the number and quality of Misprinted Business Card Utilization ideas. Thank you very much, I will be discussing those and other sundrys on Wednesday. John, I'll see you tomorrow.
Well, I'm feeling better. I'm not feeling great. But now I've got this voice, it's like not so much of a voice, it's just little popping noises. Aaaaaahh. One of the advantages is that I'm kind of a baritone now. I guess I'm usually a baritone, but maybe I'm a bass? Maybe I'm a bass now.
(sings low) Do not forsake me though you know I must spend...
So I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday. I had to walk up to the lady at the desk because I didn't know where they would keep this book, and I had to say, "I'm looking for a book, it's called We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families," and she said "That's catchy!" So I brought the book home, and then something interesting happened: (uses books as puppets and makes them fight, We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families beats Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. All the other ones then gang up on it, and squash it.)
So yeah, it didn't happen. Um, I'm not saying that the Brotherhood 2.0 book club is not a good idea, I'm just saying that right now I'm going to have to avoid your genocide book for a little while. And when I say a little while, I mean, like, less than a week. So I'll probably start it for Brotherhood 2.0 Friday.
Brotherhood 2.0 Agreement Moment! That's right, John and I agreed on something! I think it's a great idea for us for us to do our happy dances for three minutes and thirty seconds. That sounds like a perfect Brotherhood 2.0 project idea! I don't have Daniel Biss, but I do this. (calculator) It's what the University of Montana gave me for all of my hard work. 3.5 minutes times sixty seconds in a minute divided by five seconds per clip is 42 (shows calculator).
Now there are several amazing things about this idea: First, is that you got the math really, very wrong. Second remarkable thing about this idea is that Daniel Biss commented within like, three seconds of you posting the video and told you that you were wrong. It must be very convenient to have your own personal mathematician. I gotta get me one of those! Last, and most remarkable about this idea is that we now know the question. What are you talking about? Oh, sorry! Well, the answer to life, the universe, and everything is forty-two, right? So the question must be, "How many happy dance clips does it take to fill up a Brotherhood 2.0 segment?"
We really are doing some amazing things here.
I've been very impressed by the number and quality of Misprinted Business Card Utilization ideas. Thank you very much, I will be discussing those and other sundrys on Wednesday. John, I'll see you tomorrow.
Brotherhood 2.0: January 11th
Good afternoon, John. It is Thursday, January 11th. (sneeze sneeze) So I was just watching my video from January 9th. I'm paying the price for not being commensurate with my values. At some point, while in Detroit, I met a really — like a tiny chicken. I don't actually remember this tiny chicken but I'm almost positive that we had an encounter, because this tiny chicken has laid tiny eggs in my head. One here. One here. One here and One here. (sniffles) Those tiny eggs are growing and hatching and the baby tiny chickens are feeding on my brain. They do everything that baby chickens do. They're cute, they're fuzzy. They poop and they eat. They're eating my brain and their poop is coming out my nose. Fucking tiny chicken!
How many of you seen a drop coming out my nose, because it'd be really embarrassing to have that caught on video blog. No, it's still there! Ahh, there we go. Ha ha! (sniffle) No junk. No junk coming out my nose. No. I think that we should suggest some more punishments, so that we can choose between punishments. Also, we can have people suggest punishments. So far all we have is the 500 Miles punishment, we I'd be totally capable of doing. Honestly, I think it'd be fun. So, punishments that I am suggesting today: Grow your facial hair for one full week, and then wax your chin. Also, there's the Stick A Needle In My Eye provision. Third on my list of punishments that I'm suggesting for today: Give yourself a mohawk. I kind of always wanted to give myself a mohawk and I'd really like an excuse.
I've got a little bit of a problem and I was hoping that you, or maybe one of our viewers could help me out. I was going to Detroit, right, so I figured I'd have a bunch of business cards printed up. I used an online service and I upload my files and they sent me a bunch of business cards. (holds one up) Like that. I like a nice sturdy card stock. and on the back, it's supposed to be like this one, which I got printed up at Kinko's. (shows card) But this one, one the back, says this (EcoGeek). And on the front, says this. (EcoGeek) What am I supposed to do with this? Okay, it's one thing to have one that does that... What about this many? This many, that are the same, on all the sides. What am I supposed to do with it? John, viewers: What do I do with 100 three inch by one and a half inch cards that say 'ecogeek' on them? So far my only idea is to tape them all over my face
(sings) 'I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more' See, this is — this is to me not a punishment. I— I don't know. To me, it's not a punishment. We sh— we need to come up with better punishments, is what I'm saying.
How many of you seen a drop coming out my nose, because it'd be really embarrassing to have that caught on video blog. No, it's still there! Ahh, there we go. Ha ha! (sniffle) No junk. No junk coming out my nose. No. I think that we should suggest some more punishments, so that we can choose between punishments. Also, we can have people suggest punishments. So far all we have is the 500 Miles punishment, we I'd be totally capable of doing. Honestly, I think it'd be fun. So, punishments that I am suggesting today: Grow your facial hair for one full week, and then wax your chin. Also, there's the Stick A Needle In My Eye provision. Third on my list of punishments that I'm suggesting for today: Give yourself a mohawk. I kind of always wanted to give myself a mohawk and I'd really like an excuse.
I've got a little bit of a problem and I was hoping that you, or maybe one of our viewers could help me out. I was going to Detroit, right, so I figured I'd have a bunch of business cards printed up. I used an online service and I upload my files and they sent me a bunch of business cards. (holds one up) Like that. I like a nice sturdy card stock. and on the back, it's supposed to be like this one, which I got printed up at Kinko's. (shows card) But this one, one the back, says this (EcoGeek). And on the front, says this. (EcoGeek) What am I supposed to do with this? Okay, it's one thing to have one that does that... What about this many? This many, that are the same, on all the sides. What am I supposed to do with it? John, viewers: What do I do with 100 three inch by one and a half inch cards that say 'ecogeek' on them? So far my only idea is to tape them all over my face
(sings) 'I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more' See, this is — this is to me not a punishment. I— I don't know. To me, it's not a punishment. We sh— we need to come up with better punishments, is what I'm saying.
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