Good morning Hank, it's Friday. Hank, that's the view outside of my back yard. The view that I am generally looking at while I'm writing. As you know I've never taken a lot of stock in nature. I mean, I'm in favor of the environment and everything, but my general policy is that we should protect it by keeping ourselves distant from it. I'm generally a big fan of inside. In fact I believe that the entire reason human beings created inside was so that we wouldn't have to deal with outside anymore. And I've always found it endlessly amusing that people choose to be outside. Camping, backpacking, when our ancestors when through all this trouble to make inside for our comfort and happiness. Going outside just seems dismissive to your ancestors. Let's face it Hank, Nanny and Papa worked hard all their lives so that we could live inside.
But ever since I moved to Indiana, I find my distaste for outside kind of beginning to want. In fact, Hank, I am so enamored with outside that I am now going to show you a nature-themed Nerdfighters photo. Remember Nerdfighters, SPF 30 or above. (photo of Nerdfighters written in sand) That's right baby, we may be pasty, but Nerdfighters can hang out at the beach. I mean I still don't like the occupants of outside. For instance I don't like mice, and I don't like moles. There's a family of raccoons that lives under our deck. I don't like the raccoons. But I am starting to enjoy working outside. Although it's a screened in porch, so it's only kind of half outside. In fact Hank, maybe screened in is the exact right amount of outside. It occurs to me that I could probably hike the Appalachian trail as long as I had a screened in enclosure around me at all times.
Hank I'm looking forward to doing my punishment on Tuesday. I've already gotten some medals of some kind together, and this weekend I'm gonna get myself to the thrift store, get me some big baggy pants, maybe one of those old belts like I used to have, some green hairspray. Oh, speaking of the green hairspray: obviously I don't want you to just spray paint a green mohawk into your head. I want you to spray paint a green mohawk into your head and recreate the Goth picture.
OK Hank, I'm gonna go back inside and continue my attempt to find the perfect song to dance to during my punishment. I mean obviously if you're gonna be a shirtless surprisingly fat guy recreating the look of a shirtless amazingly skinny guy, you need a great song. Incidentally anyone with suggestions for that song is welcome to share them with me. Hank, I'll see you on Monday.
Showing posts with label Environment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Environment. Show all posts
Monday, November 8
Saturday, November 6
June 21: Gotta Get Outside!
Good morning John, it's Thursday, June 21st. June 21st? That's the longest day of the year! The summer solstice! And to celebrate, I was gonna take you guys outside, out on the town in Missoula to enjoy the longest day in the year. But I forgot to charge my battery. (sighs) So, I am stuck to the house. With the wires. But I did get you a little change of scenery. This is the upstairs of my house.
I do really love the amazing summer days of Missoula. The average length of a day on planet Earth is 12 hours. We've defined it that way, but the further away from the equator you get, the bigger the extremes get, and we're pretty far away from the equator here. So right now, instead of 12 hours, the day is like 15, 16 hours long. It doesn't technically matter, because I spend 80% of my waking hours in a basement. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. And that I don't like going outside and feeling the warmth of the un on my skin. I need to get outside! Why did I forget to charge my camera battery?
Ho-ho-ho-ho! I have an idea. (moves camera into window. Dances around outside) I'm outside! Hey, my cat's coming to look at me. Psspsspsspss. (Cat is in front of camera) Umm, you actually make this a little bit difficult, Cameo. (cat moves) This is my side yard. Uh, I've always wanted to plant a vegetable garden inhere, but since I don't actually own my house I can't get permission to do it. (squishes face on screen) Wow, that probably looks pretty horrible. And I have sworn to myself that when I get my own house I will not have grass. I will only have vegetables. Carrots growin like weeds and beds of lettuce everywhere and tomato plants up the butt. Oh, ooohhh (shakes head). And you know, some flowers and stuff too. But mostly I want edible stuff. So it's like act-actually productive? Instead of grass which is just- seems really ridiculous to me. Plus, vegetables are often very very pretty plants.
So you ask me what I think you should do with all that grass? TEAR IT OUT OF THE GROUND! And then put down raised beds, all over the place, and then you water those, but that's OK, because vegetable have to be watered anyways. So it's either that they get watered at the farm, or they get watered at your house. It's the same amount of water for the same amount of vegetables. Plus, you save money and have something really cool to look after that's not a pet or a child. Which is good, because unlike pets or kids you can neglect it and no one will arrest you. Though the neighborhood association might give you a fine. So that is my suggestion. I very strongly suggest that you don't keep the grass. Because in Australia they only have 62 weeks of water left, and really it should be used for agriculture. Because we need to eat. We don't need green lawns. But that's just my opinion. Maybe somebody needs green lawns, but it's not the Green brothers. We don't need green lawns, we need green vegetables so we can grow up strong and big. And also not quite as big as most of America.
So this is my outdoor version of Brotherhood 2.0. Coming to an internet cafe in Indianapolis near you. John, I will see you tomorrow.
I do really love the amazing summer days of Missoula. The average length of a day on planet Earth is 12 hours. We've defined it that way, but the further away from the equator you get, the bigger the extremes get, and we're pretty far away from the equator here. So right now, instead of 12 hours, the day is like 15, 16 hours long. It doesn't technically matter, because I spend 80% of my waking hours in a basement. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. And that I don't like going outside and feeling the warmth of the un on my skin. I need to get outside! Why did I forget to charge my camera battery?
Ho-ho-ho-ho! I have an idea. (moves camera into window. Dances around outside) I'm outside! Hey, my cat's coming to look at me. Psspsspsspss. (Cat is in front of camera) Umm, you actually make this a little bit difficult, Cameo. (cat moves) This is my side yard. Uh, I've always wanted to plant a vegetable garden inhere, but since I don't actually own my house I can't get permission to do it. (squishes face on screen) Wow, that probably looks pretty horrible. And I have sworn to myself that when I get my own house I will not have grass. I will only have vegetables. Carrots growin like weeds and beds of lettuce everywhere and tomato plants up the butt. Oh, ooohhh (shakes head). And you know, some flowers and stuff too. But mostly I want edible stuff. So it's like act-actually productive? Instead of grass which is just- seems really ridiculous to me. Plus, vegetables are often very very pretty plants.
So you ask me what I think you should do with all that grass? TEAR IT OUT OF THE GROUND! And then put down raised beds, all over the place, and then you water those, but that's OK, because vegetable have to be watered anyways. So it's either that they get watered at the farm, or they get watered at your house. It's the same amount of water for the same amount of vegetables. Plus, you save money and have something really cool to look after that's not a pet or a child. Which is good, because unlike pets or kids you can neglect it and no one will arrest you. Though the neighborhood association might give you a fine. So that is my suggestion. I very strongly suggest that you don't keep the grass. Because in Australia they only have 62 weeks of water left, and really it should be used for agriculture. Because we need to eat. We don't need green lawns. But that's just my opinion. Maybe somebody needs green lawns, but it's not the Green brothers. We don't need green lawns, we need green vegetables so we can grow up strong and big. And also not quite as big as most of America.
So this is my outdoor version of Brotherhood 2.0. Coming to an internet cafe in Indianapolis near you. John, I will see you tomorrow.
Friday, November 5
June 7: Weather and My Pants
(pans to Hank hiding under the butt of a giant cow sculpture) Good morning, John it's Thursday June 9th.
(at home) 7th, not 9th. That was me poking my head out of the butt of a giant cow. And that's all that I'm going to say about that. Light, sound, and position check for The Weather Channel.
I know what you're thinking: where did he get that amazing yellow light in the background? It's just a Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb with some tissue paper wrapped around it. I'm so clever. I thought maybe you and the Nerdfighters would a-appreciate an increase in the amount of production value, which means no clutter behind me, maybe a little bit more light on my face, dark no patterned shirt, no They Might Be Giants posters, regular kind of frame- head and shoulders. None of this business or like this business (very close camera shots) Sideways face shots.
Ok this actually isn't for you and the Nerdfighters, this is for The Weather Channel. Because I'm going to try and get my ass on the station. And I don't know that that's gonna happen, and it's a little bit sad. They're being finicky about me living in the middle of no where. If I lived in LA or something, they wouldn't have any problems at all getting me on the station. Since I live in Montana, they called it a daunting task. I don't wanna be a daunting task. I just wanna be on The Weather Channel. Hank Green: Clean Technology Expert. Hank Green: Editor in Chief EcoGeek.org. Hank Green: (shot of cat) Satisfied Cat Owner. Hank Green: Yo Baby's Daddy. Hank Green: Addicted to My Pants.
Which brings me to My Pants. One evening I left My Pants and then, the next morning, when I went back to My Pants, there were over 300 registered users in My Pants that had posted, like, a thousand posts in My Pants. At first I was worried My Pants had gotten too big for its britches, but then I realized that I was just never going to be able to conceptualize and participate in all of My Pants. I'm sorry about that, but My Pants have gotten very big. Very quickly! Hoo Hah! Nerdfighters! (does salute)
Jeez, you guys! That's some impressive foruming! Well done! I am so glad that I created that forum, you guys are amazing. Discussions surround the Evil Baby Orphanage and the presidential election. I am never again going to lack for book suggestions. Woohoo! It's very exciting, thank you for your support.
I think it's really weird that I sometimes get paid in gift cards, like, why do I need a hundred dollar gift card to CDW? Can't you give me a hundred dollars? So that I can pay rent? (phone rings) I think that may be The Weather Channel calling. Hello? Hello Sid Moore from The Weather Channel- I also wanted to ask, like what would the byline? I don't know what the word is. Just don't put .com because that would be a disaster. Cause it's .org. Yeah. It's OK, it's a long and painful story. Cool. Thanks a lot. Yeah, awesome. Bye.
Woo-o-oaaahhh!! I'm gonna be on The Weather Channel. Oh my God that is the dorkiest thing in the world to be excited about. Wow. I would do my happy dance but this set up is fragile. I should show you. This is my tripod. (stool with stack of books) it's some books on a stool. And my MacBook is in my lap. And that's how I'm controlling everything from my command station here. And if I did a happy dance it would all fall over. This is me, like, touching (shakes) ooooohhhhhhh aah! So that's why I'm not doing a happy dance. But I would, otherwise. Well, I'm running out of time and space, ummm, on my hard drive, so I have to clean that out before The Weather Channel calls tomorrow. And, uh, I will see you tomorrow.
(at home) 7th, not 9th. That was me poking my head out of the butt of a giant cow. And that's all that I'm going to say about that. Light, sound, and position check for The Weather Channel.
I know what you're thinking: where did he get that amazing yellow light in the background? It's just a Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb with some tissue paper wrapped around it. I'm so clever. I thought maybe you and the Nerdfighters would a-appreciate an increase in the amount of production value, which means no clutter behind me, maybe a little bit more light on my face, dark no patterned shirt, no They Might Be Giants posters, regular kind of frame- head and shoulders. None of this business or like this business (very close camera shots) Sideways face shots.
Ok this actually isn't for you and the Nerdfighters, this is for The Weather Channel. Because I'm going to try and get my ass on the station. And I don't know that that's gonna happen, and it's a little bit sad. They're being finicky about me living in the middle of no where. If I lived in LA or something, they wouldn't have any problems at all getting me on the station. Since I live in Montana, they called it a daunting task. I don't wanna be a daunting task. I just wanna be on The Weather Channel. Hank Green: Clean Technology Expert. Hank Green: Editor in Chief EcoGeek.org. Hank Green: (shot of cat) Satisfied Cat Owner. Hank Green: Yo Baby's Daddy. Hank Green: Addicted to My Pants.
Which brings me to My Pants. One evening I left My Pants and then, the next morning, when I went back to My Pants, there were over 300 registered users in My Pants that had posted, like, a thousand posts in My Pants. At first I was worried My Pants had gotten too big for its britches, but then I realized that I was just never going to be able to conceptualize and participate in all of My Pants. I'm sorry about that, but My Pants have gotten very big. Very quickly! Hoo Hah! Nerdfighters! (does salute)
Jeez, you guys! That's some impressive foruming! Well done! I am so glad that I created that forum, you guys are amazing. Discussions surround the Evil Baby Orphanage and the presidential election. I am never again going to lack for book suggestions. Woohoo! It's very exciting, thank you for your support.
I think it's really weird that I sometimes get paid in gift cards, like, why do I need a hundred dollar gift card to CDW? Can't you give me a hundred dollars? So that I can pay rent? (phone rings) I think that may be The Weather Channel calling. Hello? Hello Sid Moore from The Weather Channel- I also wanted to ask, like what would the byline? I don't know what the word is. Just don't put .com because that would be a disaster. Cause it's .org. Yeah. It's OK, it's a long and painful story. Cool. Thanks a lot. Yeah, awesome. Bye.
Woo-o-oaaahhh!! I'm gonna be on The Weather Channel. Oh my God that is the dorkiest thing in the world to be excited about. Wow. I would do my happy dance but this set up is fragile. I should show you. This is my tripod. (stool with stack of books) it's some books on a stool. And my MacBook is in my lap. And that's how I'm controlling everything from my command station here. And if I did a happy dance it would all fall over. This is me, like, touching (shakes) ooooohhhhhhh aah! So that's why I'm not doing a happy dance. But I would, otherwise. Well, I'm running out of time and space, ummm, on my hard drive, so I have to clean that out before The Weather Channel calls tomorrow. And, uh, I will see you tomorrow.
Brotherhood 2.0: June 4th: The First Nerdfighter Wedding!
Bride: Good morning Hank!
Groom: Good morning Hank!
Bride: Hi Hank! We're getting married!
About a second after Phyllis said that she looked at me and said, well, I guess he could have gathered that we're getting married. And indeed, that's an awfully nice dress to wear to a cocktail party. But anyway, thanks to Brotherhood 2.0 viewers, and my cousins-in-law, Phyllis and Blake for their introductions.
Hank, it was a weekend of crowds. First I was at Book Expo America, probably the biggest book thing in the country, and it was extremely crowded.
(shot at Book Expo) But Hank, you wanna know the great thing about Book Expo?
Maureen (jumps in): Hi Hank!
Free books! Free books every where, you can take as many as you'd like. As long as you're subtle about it. (Scott takes stack of 5)
(at home) Thanks to Maureen Johnson and Scott Westerfeld's hand for their cameos. But Book Expo isn't all about collecting books, it's also about collecting comic books. For you, Hank. Look, manga! I even got you a poster! Plus I got some other shweet shwag that I'm gonna be giving away on the Brotherhood 2.0 forum just as soon as you launch it.
(at Book Expo) Hank look it's Harry Potter! In bag form!
(home) I got home, went to bed, got up at 4:15, and flew to Decatur, Alabama.
(in hotel) About a month ago I was wearing my seersucker suit ironically, today I'm wearing it non-ironically.
(home) Hank this was my first time watching two Brotherhood 2.0 viewers get married, and let me tell ya it's a magical thing. Hank, everyone was excited about the first marriage between Brotherhood 2.0 viewers. I mean, the Catholic Church was so excited that they sent like 14 priests to officiate! Also, there was one Bishop and a Cardinal! (Shows program of wedding) Hank there are like 200 Cardinals in the entire world! Hank as you may or may not know it's the Cardinals who pick the next Pope. Every Cardinal under the age of 80 is allowed to go and help pick the next Pope, so I figured this was gonna be a great time for me to lobby for the kind of Pope I've been looking for. (shot of Cardinal) But sadly I don't think this guy's under 80. None the less he did a fantastic job at the wedding. Phyllis and Blake just seem so happy together, I mean, look at them up there they're just giddy! I kept wondering what they were talking about, and then I realized: the Evil Baby Orphanage.
Everybody's talking about it Hank, it's huge. The other way I knew that people were really really excited about the wedding between two Brotherhood 2.0 viewers is that a lot of people came. Like 600 people. And as I looked over this crowd of people I couldn't help but think, man if I happened to have a super drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis a lot of people are in a lot of trouble. Anyway Hank, the reception was also a great time. Randy gave a high five to the infant baby Jesus who was inexplicably doing Jazz hands. Phyllis and Blake cut the cake, as you can see, although you can't see Phyllis because she happens to be the same height, and wearing the same color as the cake itself.
Hank even though Blake got married on Saturday, he took the time probably while he was still in his marital bed to write a comment that I thought was very interesting about liquid coal. What Blake said is that while cars should never be powered by coal, it does make sense to try to develop cleaner coal technologies because there's no way that countries like India are going to completely phase out coal in the next 50 years. I look forward to the environmental discussion on the Brotherhood 2.0 forum, by the way have I mentioned the forum enough times today?
Anyway Hank, it was a beautiful wedding and a beautiful reception, but in the end weddings aren't about the tastiness of the cake, or the deliciousness of the pot roast, or even about whether or not a Cardinal officiates at the wedding. Hank, what I saw again at Blake and Phyllis's wedding, and what I saw at your wedding, and what I felt at my wedding, is that weddings aren't truly about any of those things. They're about how cute it is when kids dance (small girls dancing).
So Hank, I think we're both happy about the first Nerdfighter marriage, and I think we're both hoping for many many more. They're honeymooning in Banff right now so I don't know- wow that's a really fun word to say. Banff. Banff. Hank I'll see you tomorrow.
Groom: Good morning Hank!
Bride: Hi Hank! We're getting married!
About a second after Phyllis said that she looked at me and said, well, I guess he could have gathered that we're getting married. And indeed, that's an awfully nice dress to wear to a cocktail party. But anyway, thanks to Brotherhood 2.0 viewers, and my cousins-in-law, Phyllis and Blake for their introductions.
Hank, it was a weekend of crowds. First I was at Book Expo America, probably the biggest book thing in the country, and it was extremely crowded.
(shot at Book Expo) But Hank, you wanna know the great thing about Book Expo?
Maureen (jumps in): Hi Hank!
Free books! Free books every where, you can take as many as you'd like. As long as you're subtle about it. (Scott takes stack of 5)
(at home) Thanks to Maureen Johnson and Scott Westerfeld's hand for their cameos. But Book Expo isn't all about collecting books, it's also about collecting comic books. For you, Hank. Look, manga! I even got you a poster! Plus I got some other shweet shwag that I'm gonna be giving away on the Brotherhood 2.0 forum just as soon as you launch it.
(at Book Expo) Hank look it's Harry Potter! In bag form!
(home) I got home, went to bed, got up at 4:15, and flew to Decatur, Alabama.
(in hotel) About a month ago I was wearing my seersucker suit ironically, today I'm wearing it non-ironically.
(home) Hank this was my first time watching two Brotherhood 2.0 viewers get married, and let me tell ya it's a magical thing. Hank, everyone was excited about the first marriage between Brotherhood 2.0 viewers. I mean, the Catholic Church was so excited that they sent like 14 priests to officiate! Also, there was one Bishop and a Cardinal! (Shows program of wedding) Hank there are like 200 Cardinals in the entire world! Hank as you may or may not know it's the Cardinals who pick the next Pope. Every Cardinal under the age of 80 is allowed to go and help pick the next Pope, so I figured this was gonna be a great time for me to lobby for the kind of Pope I've been looking for. (shot of Cardinal) But sadly I don't think this guy's under 80. None the less he did a fantastic job at the wedding. Phyllis and Blake just seem so happy together, I mean, look at them up there they're just giddy! I kept wondering what they were talking about, and then I realized: the Evil Baby Orphanage.
Everybody's talking about it Hank, it's huge. The other way I knew that people were really really excited about the wedding between two Brotherhood 2.0 viewers is that a lot of people came. Like 600 people. And as I looked over this crowd of people I couldn't help but think, man if I happened to have a super drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis a lot of people are in a lot of trouble. Anyway Hank, the reception was also a great time. Randy gave a high five to the infant baby Jesus who was inexplicably doing Jazz hands. Phyllis and Blake cut the cake, as you can see, although you can't see Phyllis because she happens to be the same height, and wearing the same color as the cake itself.
Hank even though Blake got married on Saturday, he took the time probably while he was still in his marital bed to write a comment that I thought was very interesting about liquid coal. What Blake said is that while cars should never be powered by coal, it does make sense to try to develop cleaner coal technologies because there's no way that countries like India are going to completely phase out coal in the next 50 years. I look forward to the environmental discussion on the Brotherhood 2.0 forum, by the way have I mentioned the forum enough times today?
Anyway Hank, it was a beautiful wedding and a beautiful reception, but in the end weddings aren't about the tastiness of the cake, or the deliciousness of the pot roast, or even about whether or not a Cardinal officiates at the wedding. Hank, what I saw again at Blake and Phyllis's wedding, and what I saw at your wedding, and what I felt at my wedding, is that weddings aren't truly about any of those things. They're about how cute it is when kids dance (small girls dancing).
So Hank, I think we're both happy about the first Nerdfighter marriage, and I think we're both hoping for many many more. They're honeymooning in Banff right now so I don't know- wow that's a really fun word to say. Banff. Banff. Hank I'll see you tomorrow.
June 1: Barack Saabama
Good morning John, It's Friday June 1st. I don't have time for it to be June yet! Why was May so short? Stupid May. My life is slipping away. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. BONG. BONG. BONG. Slipping through my fingers.
What I mean to say is life's too short for brothers to be angry at each other. Which is why you're just going to have to admit you're wrong. Your response to my derision of Barack Obama was maybe a little bit unconvincing. I said that he was well-spoken and attractive, to that list you added "smart" Ummm. I think that we might have to admit that Brotherhood 2.0 is not going to be able to endorse a candidate in the 2008 elections. Because we might not be voting for the same person. I mean, I'll vote for Barack Obama if he's running against Mitt Romney, but I might not vote for Barack Obama if he's running against John McCain.
This country has a lot of problems, and Barack Obama has a lot of good ideas, but you can't sit there and tell me that a candidate is "smart" if he wants to increase the amount of carbon dioxide that our automobile fleet produces. By OVER 100%! That's not smart. That's uh, that's stupid.
Liquid coal is an extremely bad idea. It's the exact opposite of everything I work for. While I recognize that there are a lot of issues, that are important to me, and maybe should even be more important to me, than global warming, this is what I do. It's what I care about the most. It's what I spend all of my time doing and I just can't support some one who is not only a supporter, but like the congressional champion on the Democratic side. I like it when he talks, it makes me happy. When Hilary Clinton talks it makes me nauseous. But that is not a reason to vote for a candidate.
Obviously what's worse is that there are so many cars in America. We don't need them all. Frankly I think that I need one less. (pulls out 100 dollar bill, puts in mouth) that was me yesterday, putting my money where my mouth is. John, you may already be angry at me, but I might be about to make you more angry at me. I'll let Yesterday Self tell you about that so you can be angry at him instead of me.
(Yesterday Self) Katherine and I have become a one car family. (holds up $100) And there's a certain advantage to becoming a one car family. 90 of these. That's two, this is 88. (fans out 100s, bites stack) We have sold the less fuel efficient of the two cars, also the much more expensive of the two cars. I very intentionally video taped this yesterday so that no one would know that I have this much money until I put it in the bank. Which I'm about to go do. So don't come over and try to rob me, because I've already deposited it. This kinda scares the crap out of me. At the same time I just kinda want to rub it on myself. (rubs on face) ooohhh.
It's hard to be down on losing a really nice car when you've got your hand full of 88 hundred dollar bills. (adds two) I mean, 90. 90 hundred dollar bills. So, uh, maybe I'm just gonna invest it all in solar stocks. I have faith in the solar power industry.
(Today self) Man, that guy is such a jerk. He totally sold the Saab, you love the Saab! I don't believe he did that. Make sure that he knows he's done you wrong, but I'm on your side, I'm all behind you on all the different reasons why you're angry, we should be friends.
Thank you for challenging me to make a forum, I'm workin on it, and I challenge you to move to Indianapolis cause right now I don't think you need anything else on your plate. John, I'll see you on Monday.
What I mean to say is life's too short for brothers to be angry at each other. Which is why you're just going to have to admit you're wrong. Your response to my derision of Barack Obama was maybe a little bit unconvincing. I said that he was well-spoken and attractive, to that list you added "smart" Ummm. I think that we might have to admit that Brotherhood 2.0 is not going to be able to endorse a candidate in the 2008 elections. Because we might not be voting for the same person. I mean, I'll vote for Barack Obama if he's running against Mitt Romney, but I might not vote for Barack Obama if he's running against John McCain.
This country has a lot of problems, and Barack Obama has a lot of good ideas, but you can't sit there and tell me that a candidate is "smart" if he wants to increase the amount of carbon dioxide that our automobile fleet produces. By OVER 100%! That's not smart. That's uh, that's stupid.
Liquid coal is an extremely bad idea. It's the exact opposite of everything I work for. While I recognize that there are a lot of issues, that are important to me, and maybe should even be more important to me, than global warming, this is what I do. It's what I care about the most. It's what I spend all of my time doing and I just can't support some one who is not only a supporter, but like the congressional champion on the Democratic side. I like it when he talks, it makes me happy. When Hilary Clinton talks it makes me nauseous. But that is not a reason to vote for a candidate.
Obviously what's worse is that there are so many cars in America. We don't need them all. Frankly I think that I need one less. (pulls out 100 dollar bill, puts in mouth) that was me yesterday, putting my money where my mouth is. John, you may already be angry at me, but I might be about to make you more angry at me. I'll let Yesterday Self tell you about that so you can be angry at him instead of me.
(Yesterday Self) Katherine and I have become a one car family. (holds up $100) And there's a certain advantage to becoming a one car family. 90 of these. That's two, this is 88. (fans out 100s, bites stack) We have sold the less fuel efficient of the two cars, also the much more expensive of the two cars. I very intentionally video taped this yesterday so that no one would know that I have this much money until I put it in the bank. Which I'm about to go do. So don't come over and try to rob me, because I've already deposited it. This kinda scares the crap out of me. At the same time I just kinda want to rub it on myself. (rubs on face) ooohhh.
It's hard to be down on losing a really nice car when you've got your hand full of 88 hundred dollar bills. (adds two) I mean, 90. 90 hundred dollar bills. So, uh, maybe I'm just gonna invest it all in solar stocks. I have faith in the solar power industry.
(Today self) Man, that guy is such a jerk. He totally sold the Saab, you love the Saab! I don't believe he did that. Make sure that he knows he's done you wrong, but I'm on your side, I'm all behind you on all the different reasons why you're angry, we should be friends.
Thank you for challenging me to make a forum, I'm workin on it, and I challenge you to move to Indianapolis cause right now I don't think you need anything else on your plate. John, I'll see you on Monday.
Brotherhood 2.0: May 31: Yogurt eating
Lindsay: Good morning, Hank.
It's Thursday, May 31st and you just got said hello to by Lindsay Robertson. Hank I'm very late updating today because the Yeti's out of town and when the Yeti's gone I kind of don't know what to do with myself or how to schedule my time and I had to go to a reading earlier and then reading turned into dinner and dinner turned into drinks and then all of a sudden it's ten o'clock and I'm like I have to go I gotta make a Brotherhood 2.0 video! And then I got home and I was still hungry and the Yeti and I have made this deal that we will eat everything that is in the refrigerator before we leave New York, so I had an after dinner meal that consisted of frozen chicken vindaloo, carrots, ketchup, and Italian dressing.
Hank, where do you get off dissing Barack Obama? That's not cool. We try to present a united front here at Brotherhood 2.0 but when you go and say things like Barack Obama is merely well-spoken and merely attractive I get angry. Who you gonna vote for in 2008 if not Barack Obama? Yes, he has a problem with liquid coal, I agree that he has a problem with liquid coal, but a lot of people have a lot of other problems that are even more serious than that. He's smart! Maybe I'm biased as a Nerdfighter but I value intelligence.
Hank I'd like to thank you for the Queen Ranamalo- Ramanama- Ramnalova? Ramanalova? Hank I'd like to thank you for the Queen Ramanalova song, it rocked. By the way, Hank, thanks to commenter Ashley I now know Queen Ramanalova's first name and it is a beauty. Rabodoandrianampoinimerina why did she go by Ranavalona when she could have gone by Rabodoandianapoiniamaponatia?
In other news: Hank I've been thinking some about the Brotherhood2.com website. I think it's time for Brotherhood 2.0 to have a forum because the comments are getting really confused and there're so many of them, and it's hard to read them all at once, and you don't know which is about what. And so Hank, I challenge you to make us a forum. If the viewers are in favor of that.
Speaking of challenges you've done a great job with the song writing challenge so far, I mean, I really threw you for a loop with that skipping Memorial day thing, but then you did a great job writing a song in like six hours about Queen Ranavalona, so I'm really proud of you on the challenge front. And now I've challenged you again, and I can't help but feel like, you know, you haven't challenged me much, lately. I mean, there's a lot of things I could do for a challenge. For instance you could challenge me to eat six ounces of yogurt which is worth two Weight Watchers points, in, say, ten seconds? (drinks yogurt) Aaaah! Nerdfighters! Is there- did I get a little on my nose? (tries to lick it off) I don't have one of those tongues, Hank, do you have one of those tongues? (tries again) Maybe if I lower my nose? (presses down and tries again) uuuhhh, no. I'm gonna have to wipe and lick. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
It's Thursday, May 31st and you just got said hello to by Lindsay Robertson. Hank I'm very late updating today because the Yeti's out of town and when the Yeti's gone I kind of don't know what to do with myself or how to schedule my time and I had to go to a reading earlier and then reading turned into dinner and dinner turned into drinks and then all of a sudden it's ten o'clock and I'm like I have to go I gotta make a Brotherhood 2.0 video! And then I got home and I was still hungry and the Yeti and I have made this deal that we will eat everything that is in the refrigerator before we leave New York, so I had an after dinner meal that consisted of frozen chicken vindaloo, carrots, ketchup, and Italian dressing.
Hank, where do you get off dissing Barack Obama? That's not cool. We try to present a united front here at Brotherhood 2.0 but when you go and say things like Barack Obama is merely well-spoken and merely attractive I get angry. Who you gonna vote for in 2008 if not Barack Obama? Yes, he has a problem with liquid coal, I agree that he has a problem with liquid coal, but a lot of people have a lot of other problems that are even more serious than that. He's smart! Maybe I'm biased as a Nerdfighter but I value intelligence.
Hank I'd like to thank you for the Queen Ranamalo- Ramanama- Ramnalova? Ramanalova? Hank I'd like to thank you for the Queen Ramanalova song, it rocked. By the way, Hank, thanks to commenter Ashley I now know Queen Ramanalova's first name and it is a beauty. Rabodoandrianampoinimerina why did she go by Ranavalona when she could have gone by Rabodoandianapoiniamaponatia?
In other news: Hank I've been thinking some about the Brotherhood2.com website. I think it's time for Brotherhood 2.0 to have a forum because the comments are getting really confused and there're so many of them, and it's hard to read them all at once, and you don't know which is about what. And so Hank, I challenge you to make us a forum. If the viewers are in favor of that.
Speaking of challenges you've done a great job with the song writing challenge so far, I mean, I really threw you for a loop with that skipping Memorial day thing, but then you did a great job writing a song in like six hours about Queen Ranavalona, so I'm really proud of you on the challenge front. And now I've challenged you again, and I can't help but feel like, you know, you haven't challenged me much, lately. I mean, there's a lot of things I could do for a challenge. For instance you could challenge me to eat six ounces of yogurt which is worth two Weight Watchers points, in, say, ten seconds? (drinks yogurt) Aaaah! Nerdfighters! Is there- did I get a little on my nose? (tries to lick it off) I don't have one of those tongues, Hank, do you have one of those tongues? (tries again) Maybe if I lower my nose? (presses down and tries again) uuuhhh, no. I'm gonna have to wipe and lick. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
Thursday, November 4
May 30th: Ranavalona and Clean Coal
(guitar strumming) Good morning John, it's Wednesday, May 30th. I was really surprised, suddenly, to discover that I needed to do a song today. So I decided yesterday, after I realized, that I would take something extremely random from your video and make a song about it. And I was extremely surprised to find that you gave me something ridiculously random to deal with.
(sings) Queen Ranavalona the first
Throughout history, killers found a way
To gather enough power to put millions in their graves
Henry just focused on his wives
While Hitler's war took 70 million lives
But I've got to wonder if those guys were worse
Than Queen Ranavalona the First
(sings) Queen Ranavalona the first
Throughout history, killers found a way
To gather enough power to put millions in their graves
Henry just focused on his wives
While Hitler's war took 70 million lives
But I've got to wonder if those guys were worse
Than Queen Ranavalona the First
Oh Ranavalona, Ranavalona, Ranavalona the First
They call her the Mad Queen of Madagascar
She'll sell you into slavery, she'll boil you in tar
She'll dress you up in bloody animal skins and set the dogs on you
A third of her nation died under her rule
If ever the reign of a woman was cursed
It was Queen Ranavalona the First
Ranavalona, Ranavalona, Ranavalona the First.
They call her the Mad Queen of Madagascar
She'll sell you into slavery, she'll boil you in tar
She'll dress you up in bloody animal skins and set the dogs on you
A third of her nation died under her rule
If ever the reign of a woman was cursed
It was Queen Ranavalona the First
Ranavalona, Ranavalona, Ranavalona the First.
(spoken) I did it! So, yesterday's video. Packing already, moving, oh my God! Leaving New York. That's scary and I'm sorry and I hope that I don't have to do that any time soon. Ahhh so much lifting. Euugh.
Also in reference to your last video: Amazing Yeti. I'm undone.
On a more serious note, I've been a little bit disappointed lately of the coverage of coal. Now we all know that coal is bad, but we need it to power all of our lights and stuff. But the worst thing in the world would be to find more ways to use coal. There are people trying to figure out how to use coal to power automobiles. I have to wonder if you know that your favorite guy, Mr. Obama, is a champion for coal to liquid technology. I mean, he's really photogenic and well-spoken and everything, but - but this kind of turns me off. I'm also angry that there has been clean coal advertisements popping up all over the place. Like even on some environmental blogs. One of the advertisements is a lump of coal with, uh, legs that runs and skips and jumps and is happy. He has thought bubbles that say happy things. I have cleared out his though bubble so that people can have him say whatever they think that he would actually say (image of coal saying I'm in yr gas tank destroyin yr planetz, and then a middle finger wth FU) I would like to encourage Nerdfighters to do that. The, uh, graphic is below, and you can send them to sparksflyup@gmail.com or put them in the comments. The best one may even win a prize.
John, I will see you tomorrow.
Brotherhood 2.0: May 29: The Goth Scene and Evil Ladies
(looking in trash) Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday, May 29th, I'm back on the odd days, and I am here in New York City searching for packing supplies. Hank, you've turned us into conservationists and as conservationists we feel compelled to scour the streets of New York City for moving boxes. Instead of, you know, purchasing them. (finds some)
(at home) Hank, you may notice a slight difference in the background of this video, that's because the Yeti and I have almost finished packing all of our books. Hold on, I'll show you. Aaaaahhhh. Uuuhhhhg. Hank, there are many things that Nerdfighters are good at. We're good at puzzles, we're good at being smart, we're good at being extraordinarily good looking, but we do not excel at lifting, and lifting, I'm sorry to say, is a very important part of moving. OK, hold on, I'm gonna get up and show it to you. Guh! (shot of many boxes) Look at all the books!
Hank, packing all of those books has sort of sucked and it's caused my hamstrings to snap into to, but there has been one advantage: I've found two books that I've been looking for for a long time. The first is called: Everything You Need to Know About The Goth Scene In Your Pants. Hank, here's what I'm wondering: what kind of Goth scene are we talking about? Because I don't mind having people listen to The Cure inside my pants, but it's gonna be really awkward to have large armies massacring each other uh, in my pants.
Hank you asked my while I was in the Netherlands what we were going to do about the paucity of evil female babies. That brings me to the second book I found while packing: The Most Evil Women in History! In your pants. Hank this book has introduced me to several really genuinely evil women, but I am particularly impressed by Queen Ranalova! Ranavalona? Ranavalona? Queen Ranavalona the first. Uh, I like a couple of things about Queen Ranavalona first I like saying her name: Ranavalona Ranavalona Ranavalona Ranavalonaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And second I like the fact that she's Ranavalona the first and that there was never a Ranavalona the second. This reminds me of one of my other favorite monarchs from history, King Zog the first of Albania. Zoooog. Anyway, Hank, I'd like to read you a quote about Queen Ranavalona.
"If this woman's rule lasts much longer Madagascar will be depopulated." Anyway, Hank, I don't think we should have any trouble at all finding an adequate number of evil ladies to fill out the Evil Baby Orphanage. I think that's all from me, Hank, I'll see you t- (knock knock knock)
Wait what's that? Come in! (stands) Thank you very much! (holds up scroll) Ah! From the desk of The Yeti! Hmm: (reads)
A year ago last week
John Green convinced this girl to say I do
And his brother was you.
Hank, thanks for your warning,
But there's only so much one Yeti's womb can do.
And that number is two.
(sings) Only one girl could ever stop John Green
From achieving his one unmatchable dream
I know that he will stop before 19
If he wants to remain married to me
The may play Ultimate, they may play darts
But they needn't play soccer to win our hearts
The only kind of sporting team our kids will fill
Is a competitively fierce game of skill
They needn't be numerous, they needn't be huge
And the team they'll make is two-man luge
I could go on for many verses more
But the crucial lines are stated heretofore
Hank I've got to tell you
Tell you about the power I have. Sarah Green
May some day be a luge team making machine
(spoken) Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and happy 26th birthday to Amy, and happy 13th birthday to Anne, you guys are like half each others' age, so that's cool.
(at home) Hank, you may notice a slight difference in the background of this video, that's because the Yeti and I have almost finished packing all of our books. Hold on, I'll show you. Aaaaahhhh. Uuuhhhhg. Hank, there are many things that Nerdfighters are good at. We're good at puzzles, we're good at being smart, we're good at being extraordinarily good looking, but we do not excel at lifting, and lifting, I'm sorry to say, is a very important part of moving. OK, hold on, I'm gonna get up and show it to you. Guh! (shot of many boxes) Look at all the books!
Hank, packing all of those books has sort of sucked and it's caused my hamstrings to snap into to, but there has been one advantage: I've found two books that I've been looking for for a long time. The first is called: Everything You Need to Know About The Goth Scene In Your Pants. Hank, here's what I'm wondering: what kind of Goth scene are we talking about? Because I don't mind having people listen to The Cure inside my pants, but it's gonna be really awkward to have large armies massacring each other uh, in my pants.
Hank you asked my while I was in the Netherlands what we were going to do about the paucity of evil female babies. That brings me to the second book I found while packing: The Most Evil Women in History! In your pants. Hank this book has introduced me to several really genuinely evil women, but I am particularly impressed by Queen Ranalova! Ranavalona? Ranavalona? Queen Ranavalona the first. Uh, I like a couple of things about Queen Ranavalona first I like saying her name: Ranavalona Ranavalona Ranavalona Ranavalonaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And second I like the fact that she's Ranavalona the first and that there was never a Ranavalona the second. This reminds me of one of my other favorite monarchs from history, King Zog the first of Albania. Zoooog. Anyway, Hank, I'd like to read you a quote about Queen Ranavalona.
"If this woman's rule lasts much longer Madagascar will be depopulated." Anyway, Hank, I don't think we should have any trouble at all finding an adequate number of evil ladies to fill out the Evil Baby Orphanage. I think that's all from me, Hank, I'll see you t- (knock knock knock)
Wait what's that? Come in! (stands) Thank you very much! (holds up scroll) Ah! From the desk of The Yeti! Hmm: (reads)
A year ago last week
John Green convinced this girl to say I do
And his brother was you.
Hank, thanks for your warning,
But there's only so much one Yeti's womb can do.
And that number is two.
(sings) Only one girl could ever stop John Green
From achieving his one unmatchable dream
I know that he will stop before 19
If he wants to remain married to me
The may play Ultimate, they may play darts
But they needn't play soccer to win our hearts
The only kind of sporting team our kids will fill
Is a competitively fierce game of skill
They needn't be numerous, they needn't be huge
And the team they'll make is two-man luge
I could go on for many verses more
But the crucial lines are stated heretofore
Hank I've got to tell you
Tell you about the power I have. Sarah Green
May some day be a luge team making machine
(spoken) Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and happy 26th birthday to Amy, and happy 13th birthday to Anne, you guys are like half each others' age, so that's cool.
Brotherhood 2.0: May 24: How to Happy Dance
Dutch students: Goedemorgen Hank!
Woman: Goedemorgen Hank. Alles goed?
(John on square that plays music, happy dancing. The Yeti giggles) Hank it's been such a long day that I have to talk to you about it here in the car at night with the crazy light on that makes me look like I'm a serial killer. First I visited with kids at this school. Hank can you imagine if, like, a Spanish language or French language author showed up in an American high school and started talking to them in Spanish or French? And yet these kids were quite attentive. Some of them, it must be said, seem to speak English better than I do.
Then I got my picture taken, and I stood on this sign (I amsterdam sign) which was really scary cause I'm afraid of heights even if the height is only four feet.
The Yeti: why don't you stand up, John, I think it'll be easier.
I'm not gonna stand up, are you crazy?
Hank you wanna know something interesting about the Netherlands? It's easy to tell who the German tourists are (shot of people in camo) They're always wearing camo pants! Even the babies! Hank I tried to film these windmills for you but a gasoline truck got in the way.
(shot of fried ball) Hank this is a bitterball (laughter) And this is mustard. Everyone at the cafe finds this very funny. I am now going to eat a bitterball (woman off camera: with mustard) with mustard. All right? (eats) It's delicious. You know what it tastes like? It tastes like if you took meat, and flour, and hope and you fried it.
Then I did my happy dance man, I love doing my happy dance (happy dance) Hank, my happy dance is huge in the Netherlands, it's so huge that later, when I went to Rotterdam, pictured here, people in my Dutch publisher- the best publisher in all of Holland- were like Hey, can you do your happy dance outside the restaurant where we're taking you out to dinner?
(outside restaurant) Hank, the people at Lemniscaat have asked to see my happy dance and I never turn down a request from my Dutch publisher, so here it is! (dances, applause and laughter) The police stopped, because I think- I think they were trying to figure out if that was illegal. (people try happy dances, more laughing)
Hank the Yeti's response to your brilliant song will have to wait until Monday. I'll see you tomorrow.
Woman: Goedemorgen Hank. Alles goed?
(John on square that plays music, happy dancing. The Yeti giggles) Hank it's been such a long day that I have to talk to you about it here in the car at night with the crazy light on that makes me look like I'm a serial killer. First I visited with kids at this school. Hank can you imagine if, like, a Spanish language or French language author showed up in an American high school and started talking to them in Spanish or French? And yet these kids were quite attentive. Some of them, it must be said, seem to speak English better than I do.
Then I got my picture taken, and I stood on this sign (I amsterdam sign) which was really scary cause I'm afraid of heights even if the height is only four feet.
The Yeti: why don't you stand up, John, I think it'll be easier.
I'm not gonna stand up, are you crazy?
Hank you wanna know something interesting about the Netherlands? It's easy to tell who the German tourists are (shot of people in camo) They're always wearing camo pants! Even the babies! Hank I tried to film these windmills for you but a gasoline truck got in the way.
(shot of fried ball) Hank this is a bitterball (laughter) And this is mustard. Everyone at the cafe finds this very funny. I am now going to eat a bitterball (woman off camera: with mustard) with mustard. All right? (eats) It's delicious. You know what it tastes like? It tastes like if you took meat, and flour, and hope and you fried it.
Then I did my happy dance man, I love doing my happy dance (happy dance) Hank, my happy dance is huge in the Netherlands, it's so huge that later, when I went to Rotterdam, pictured here, people in my Dutch publisher- the best publisher in all of Holland- were like Hey, can you do your happy dance outside the restaurant where we're taking you out to dinner?
(outside restaurant) Hank, the people at Lemniscaat have asked to see my happy dance and I never turn down a request from my Dutch publisher, so here it is! (dances, applause and laughter) The police stopped, because I think- I think they were trying to figure out if that was illegal. (people try happy dances, more laughing)
Hank the Yeti's response to your brilliant song will have to wait until Monday. I'll see you tomorrow.
May 22: Brotherhood 2.0 in Amsterdam
Good morning Hank, it’s Tuesday and I am in Amsterdam. And boy, are we having a good time. I like Amsterdam so much that it makes me do my happy dance. (Happy dances on bridge) The natives laughed at me.
The Yeti: A-Amused laughter or embarrassed-for-you laughter?
John: I think they felt ashamed.
The Yeti: Yeah. Crazy American?
John: Just, just ashamed, uh, that their city would attract someone like me.
The Yeti: A-Amused laughter or embarrassed-for-you laughter?
John: I think they felt ashamed.
The Yeti: Yeah. Crazy American?
John: Just, just ashamed, uh, that their city would attract someone like me.
Hank, we’ve done a lot of things in our first few days in Amsterdam. One of the most fun things we did was go to the Contemporary Art Museum. Here we see the videotaped encounter of a spaceman looking at the Buddha, and the Buddha looking back at the spaceman. (robot dances) This piece made me want to do this dance for some reason. That was weird. On our way out of that museum I got so excited that I started doing this. (does jig with music)
Hank, when I first found out I was coming to Amsterdam I thought it would be kind of like a drug-addled den of iniquity, you know? That it would be kind of like a dirty, debaucherous place like Las Vegas, but with legal weed. But it turns out it’s one of the cleanest, most beautiful cities that I’ve ever visited. It has lots of beautiful green space. Everyone bikes everywhere. And when they don’t bike they use small, efficient cars. Even the toilets are ecologically friendly (shot of port-o-potty called Eco Toilet)! Even though English isn’t the first language the graffiti is surprisingly thoughtful (graffiti says 'Love does its duty and then fades away'). There are lots of beautiful fresh flowers, and the people are so friendly that even when a business is closed, they want you to come in (shot of sign that says Come in, We're Closed). And all of the buildings are beautiful, including the shopping malls.
In fact the Yeti and I have been talking constantly about how we can move here. Although as I do keep telling the Yet, Indianapolis is truly the Amsterdam of central Indiana.
It’s all enough that it makes me want to do my happy dance some more! (Happy dances in various public areas) The things I do to entertain you, Hank. In summation, Hank, it seems to me that Amsterdam is like a lot of great cities will be fifty years from now. It’s efficient, sustainable, and mostly underwater.
Hank, I have very limited internet access but I hope I’ll see you tomorrow.
Hank, when I first found out I was coming to Amsterdam I thought it would be kind of like a drug-addled den of iniquity, you know? That it would be kind of like a dirty, debaucherous place like Las Vegas, but with legal weed. But it turns out it’s one of the cleanest, most beautiful cities that I’ve ever visited. It has lots of beautiful green space. Everyone bikes everywhere. And when they don’t bike they use small, efficient cars. Even the toilets are ecologically friendly (shot of port-o-potty called Eco Toilet)! Even though English isn’t the first language the graffiti is surprisingly thoughtful (graffiti says 'Love does its duty and then fades away'). There are lots of beautiful fresh flowers, and the people are so friendly that even when a business is closed, they want you to come in (shot of sign that says Come in, We're Closed). And all of the buildings are beautiful, including the shopping malls.
In fact the Yeti and I have been talking constantly about how we can move here. Although as I do keep telling the Yet, Indianapolis is truly the Amsterdam of central Indiana.
It’s all enough that it makes me want to do my happy dance some more! (Happy dances in various public areas) The things I do to entertain you, Hank. In summation, Hank, it seems to me that Amsterdam is like a lot of great cities will be fifty years from now. It’s efficient, sustainable, and mostly underwater.
Hank, I have very limited internet access but I hope I’ll see you tomorrow.
May 21st: Comment Bashing, Anniversaries and EBO Ladies
Good morning, John, it's Monday, May 21st and I've got all kinds of news!
First: Katherine is at work, which is weird, because she hasn't been at work in a long time, and I'm all alone in the house all day. Second: You've been married for an entire year! (party blowers) There will be more on that tomorrow. Also, I recently made a video for EcoGeek in which I discussed this silly NASA project that was like a flapping bird plane. I thought it was kinda silly so I made a kinda silly video. Very exciting, the video and story got picked up on Digg and then Gizmodo picked it up and then I started reading the comments and then I realized that everyone was being really mean to me.
Excerpts from the comments:
Interesting: 10 of 10. Informative: 4 of 10. Annoying: 11 of 10.
Dear EcoGeek, you are not ZeFrank. Please stop trying to be.
I want those bird things to be fitted with razor sharp talons, sent to that geek's house and make him pay for that voice over.
Someone please do him the favor of just killing him.
(acts like crying) They're so mean! Why are they all so mean? I mean, what did I ever do to them? Put some razor sharp talons on- show you- not ZeFrank- gonna talon you. To death. Aahh! I wanna go have some chocolate or something. (eats chocolate) I mean, congratulations to me, for having my face all up on Gizmodo, now everybody has to be really mean to me because they're jealous. They're jealous and they don't understand my craft. They're not ready for me yet. They're not ready for what I do. The world isn't ready yet. Give the world a couple more days, and then I'll come back, and they'll understand what I'm trying to do.
Anyway I have good news. There's a new Yahoo site, at Green.Yahoo.com and among content from really amazing famous environmentalists: uhh, NRDC, Amory Lovins, Tree Hugger's got some content on there, World Changing, there is prime featured EcoGeek content. We've been working on this deal for a long time and I haven't been able to talk about it. I wanted to say something to you but I couldn't say anything because it was really secret and I was worried that it wasn't gonna work out. It did work out. It's running and it's up and I'm getting traffic. And it's just really freakin awesome that I am writing, kind of, for Yahoo. And they are sending me lots of Yahoo traffic. So that's some super fricken duper news.
Additionally I, of course, have a couple of things to say about the Evil Baby Orphanage. First: I worry a little bit about discussing the proposal in a public forum. For me one of the biggest thrills of experiencing a book or a movie or a television show are the secrets. You have to put together the pieces of the puzzle slowly to build the picture, and- and we're going to be starting in this proposal, I think, with a fairly complete picture. But I don't want everybody to see that picture first. I wanna- I wanna hide that picture. I'm not- I'm afraid of people seeing that picture. The text based communication thing does make it harder, uhh, to do this, but I think we can. I just don't know how. So here's a start: I'm gonna discuss an issue that I have with this idea without going into plot details. The issue: there aren't very many evil baby girls. Uh oh. It would be interesting for it to be a- a gay Evil Baby Orphanage, with lots of gay evil babies. Obviously many evil people in history have been repressed homosexuals, so that could be a direction that we might go, however, I don't really think that I wanna go there. I want there to be female characters, I want there to be female leads, I want there to be, uh, hot chicks in the Evil Baby Orphanage. We need to figure out where an evil female baby would come from. I mean obviously that tension could be there, like there might be three boys for every girl. There has to be at least that one girl. So I think we need to know where the love interests are gonna be, and how to include some female evil babies. I will see ya tomorrow.
First: Katherine is at work, which is weird, because she hasn't been at work in a long time, and I'm all alone in the house all day. Second: You've been married for an entire year! (party blowers) There will be more on that tomorrow. Also, I recently made a video for EcoGeek in which I discussed this silly NASA project that was like a flapping bird plane. I thought it was kinda silly so I made a kinda silly video. Very exciting, the video and story got picked up on Digg and then Gizmodo picked it up and then I started reading the comments and then I realized that everyone was being really mean to me.
Excerpts from the comments:
Interesting: 10 of 10. Informative: 4 of 10. Annoying: 11 of 10.
Dear EcoGeek, you are not ZeFrank. Please stop trying to be.
I want those bird things to be fitted with razor sharp talons, sent to that geek's house and make him pay for that voice over.
Someone please do him the favor of just killing him.
(acts like crying) They're so mean! Why are they all so mean? I mean, what did I ever do to them? Put some razor sharp talons on- show you- not ZeFrank- gonna talon you. To death. Aahh! I wanna go have some chocolate or something. (eats chocolate) I mean, congratulations to me, for having my face all up on Gizmodo, now everybody has to be really mean to me because they're jealous. They're jealous and they don't understand my craft. They're not ready for me yet. They're not ready for what I do. The world isn't ready yet. Give the world a couple more days, and then I'll come back, and they'll understand what I'm trying to do.
Anyway I have good news. There's a new Yahoo site, at Green.Yahoo.com and among content from really amazing famous environmentalists: uhh, NRDC, Amory Lovins, Tree Hugger's got some content on there, World Changing, there is prime featured EcoGeek content. We've been working on this deal for a long time and I haven't been able to talk about it. I wanted to say something to you but I couldn't say anything because it was really secret and I was worried that it wasn't gonna work out. It did work out. It's running and it's up and I'm getting traffic. And it's just really freakin awesome that I am writing, kind of, for Yahoo. And they are sending me lots of Yahoo traffic. So that's some super fricken duper news.
Additionally I, of course, have a couple of things to say about the Evil Baby Orphanage. First: I worry a little bit about discussing the proposal in a public forum. For me one of the biggest thrills of experiencing a book or a movie or a television show are the secrets. You have to put together the pieces of the puzzle slowly to build the picture, and- and we're going to be starting in this proposal, I think, with a fairly complete picture. But I don't want everybody to see that picture first. I wanna- I wanna hide that picture. I'm not- I'm afraid of people seeing that picture. The text based communication thing does make it harder, uhh, to do this, but I think we can. I just don't know how. So here's a start: I'm gonna discuss an issue that I have with this idea without going into plot details. The issue: there aren't very many evil baby girls. Uh oh. It would be interesting for it to be a- a gay Evil Baby Orphanage, with lots of gay evil babies. Obviously many evil people in history have been repressed homosexuals, so that could be a direction that we might go, however, I don't really think that I wanna go there. I want there to be female characters, I want there to be female leads, I want there to be, uh, hot chicks in the Evil Baby Orphanage. We need to figure out where an evil female baby would come from. I mean obviously that tension could be there, like there might be three boys for every girl. There has to be at least that one girl. So I think we need to know where the love interests are gonna be, and how to include some female evil babies. I will see ya tomorrow.
May 11th: Heroes
Good morning, John, it's Friday May 11th. (shots of Hank and Katherine zooming around on bikes) For our birthdays Mom and Dad got us new bikes! It's Katherine's birthday next week so she got one too. And now we have two really nice bikes so we can ride around town all the time. We can ride our bikes to the garden, and we won't have to use any fossil fuels or create any carbon.
They're really nice, too. Thanks Mom and Dad, and happy Mother's Day, mom! Do you know what I love? My mom. But also, I love questions about superheroes. Who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman? That one- that one's not very interesting. But there are lots of superhero questions that I like to answer. I especially like to think about what kind of super powers I would like to have if I could have super powers.
I mean, you can't really beat Superman for having super powers, unless you could travel in time. Though that could definitely get very confusing very quickly. I think that that would be probably the hardest super power to have. As you get more power, dealing with that power becomes more difficult. All superheroes deal with that. I think a time stopping man would have even more problems. Where do you draw the line? I mean, you could save everybody as long as you didn't age while you were saving people. You could save everybody in the world. Pretty much. And if you did age? Then you'd have to use your time very wisely, you'd have to save the maximum- yeah, that would be a hard power to have, but it would be the most power, I think, of any superhero. Unless you were Superman and you could travel in time. That would be more power. And you'd also have to make sure that you didn't accidentally negate your own existence while you were in the past.
I would probably not mess with the past if I was a time traveling superhero. You go back and you try and stop the Holocaust and suddenly you've disappeared. Put a needle in Hitler's eye when he's a baby. Would it be OK to kill baby Hitler? I mean, he's just a baby. This is why it would be so hard to be a time traveling super hero! I don't know. I'm interested in people's opinions on whether it would be OK to kill baby Hitler.
Now the reason I'm talking about this, John, is because one of the commenters asked me what I would do if I woke up in the morning and had Spiderman's powers. I mean, I gotta be honest, I would definitely start out the way that Peter Parker did in Spiderman 1 by taking off my shirt and flexing in the mirror. And then I would probably get Katherine, and flex at her. And then I would- might go downtown and flex at random people? I've never really had flex-able- flex-able? flex-ish? flexing. The capability of flexing really, and I think that I would enjoy that. Beyond that, um, I would probably move away from Missoula because Spiderman's powers in Missoula, Montana would be fairly useless. Swing from the seven story building to the six story building! And then, I could swing back! Over and over again. I think Spiderman in Missoula would be very bored, I think he would go hiking a lot. I think, actually, that the awesomeness of a superhero is dependent on the size of his city. Because if there's not a lot of people to save, what do you need a superhero for? A superhero in Missoula would be very part time. Like, you work at the Taco shop, and then be like, guys I gotta go I just been listening in on the police scanner and there's been an accident on Highway 22 and I have to travel back in time and use my Superman powers to stop it.
So yeah, if I was Spiderman, I would either keep it a secret and just flex a lot, or I would move to a big city and actually, uh, get something accomplished. Wow. I sure did spend that entire video talking about superheroes. (does salute) Hoo Hah, Nerdfighters! See you on Monday.
They're really nice, too. Thanks Mom and Dad, and happy Mother's Day, mom! Do you know what I love? My mom. But also, I love questions about superheroes. Who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman? That one- that one's not very interesting. But there are lots of superhero questions that I like to answer. I especially like to think about what kind of super powers I would like to have if I could have super powers.
I mean, you can't really beat Superman for having super powers, unless you could travel in time. Though that could definitely get very confusing very quickly. I think that that would be probably the hardest super power to have. As you get more power, dealing with that power becomes more difficult. All superheroes deal with that. I think a time stopping man would have even more problems. Where do you draw the line? I mean, you could save everybody as long as you didn't age while you were saving people. You could save everybody in the world. Pretty much. And if you did age? Then you'd have to use your time very wisely, you'd have to save the maximum- yeah, that would be a hard power to have, but it would be the most power, I think, of any superhero. Unless you were Superman and you could travel in time. That would be more power. And you'd also have to make sure that you didn't accidentally negate your own existence while you were in the past.
I would probably not mess with the past if I was a time traveling superhero. You go back and you try and stop the Holocaust and suddenly you've disappeared. Put a needle in Hitler's eye when he's a baby. Would it be OK to kill baby Hitler? I mean, he's just a baby. This is why it would be so hard to be a time traveling super hero! I don't know. I'm interested in people's opinions on whether it would be OK to kill baby Hitler.
Now the reason I'm talking about this, John, is because one of the commenters asked me what I would do if I woke up in the morning and had Spiderman's powers. I mean, I gotta be honest, I would definitely start out the way that Peter Parker did in Spiderman 1 by taking off my shirt and flexing in the mirror. And then I would probably get Katherine, and flex at her. And then I would- might go downtown and flex at random people? I've never really had flex-able- flex-able? flex-ish? flexing. The capability of flexing really, and I think that I would enjoy that. Beyond that, um, I would probably move away from Missoula because Spiderman's powers in Missoula, Montana would be fairly useless. Swing from the seven story building to the six story building! And then, I could swing back! Over and over again. I think Spiderman in Missoula would be very bored, I think he would go hiking a lot. I think, actually, that the awesomeness of a superhero is dependent on the size of his city. Because if there's not a lot of people to save, what do you need a superhero for? A superhero in Missoula would be very part time. Like, you work at the Taco shop, and then be like, guys I gotta go I just been listening in on the police scanner and there's been an accident on Highway 22 and I have to travel back in time and use my Superman powers to stop it.
So yeah, if I was Spiderman, I would either keep it a secret and just flex a lot, or I would move to a big city and actually, uh, get something accomplished. Wow. I sure did spend that entire video talking about superheroes. (does salute) Hoo Hah, Nerdfighters! See you on Monday.
Wednesday, November 3
Brotherhood 2.0: Carbon Neutralizing Youtube
Good morning, Hank. It's Friday, April 20th. It occurred to me recently that Brotherhood 2.0 is, itself, as a video blog, contributing to global warming. I want to make Brotherhood 2.0 a carbon-neutral video blog. Unfortunately, Hank, in order to do that I'm going to have to use a lot of arithmetic. And, as you well know, arithmetic is not my specialty. After all, about 2 months ago, I calculated that each minute contained 100 seconds.
OK, Hank, let's get started getting carbon neutral. According to Youtube, Brotherhood 2.0 has received 116,419 views. Each video averages about 3:09, which is, according to my calculations, 189 seconds? So to start we're going to multiply 116,419 times 189, which is, of course, 8 gajillion? Uh, no. It's 22,003,191. Wow! People have spent 22,003,191 seconds watching Brotherhood 2.0. We're famous! In a related story, Americans need more hobbies.
But it's not just the amount of time people spend watching our videos, it's also the amount of time people spend commenting on our videos and talking about, you know, how much cuter you are than me. Not that I'm jealous, but I have noticed that you've showed up on some blogs as one of the five celebrities that certain people would like to do certain things with, whereas I have, you know, not showed up on those blogs. But that's ok, I mean, you know, it's not a competition.
But you also have to factor in the amount of time that we spend making the videos. So, according to my calculations, the entire Brotherhood 2.0 project has taken up 22,856,391 seconds of computer time. That's 6,348.99 hours. Hank, according to some random website I just found, the average computer uses 110 watts per hour while browsing the internet. So you multiply the number of hours times 110 and you get 698,389.7. But then in order to find kilowatts we have to divide by 1000. 698.4 kilowatts. In the US, the average kilowatt takes about 1.35 pounds of carbon to create. So, you multiply that 698 times 1.35, and then you find out that our videoblog has personally led to 942.8 pounds of carbon emissions.
Now I know what you're saying, Hank. 942 pounds, that's not that much. After all, the average American produces about 23,000 pounds of carbon. But Hank, that means that Brotherhood 2.0 is about 1/23 of the average American, and Brotherhood 2.0 isn't even a person. It's an idea! Let me put this into perspective for you. According to Dimensions Magazine, there have only been 21 people in all of human history who weighed more than Brotherhood 2.0's carbon emissions.
Hank, you remember how I said in an earlier video that Al Gore eats carbon emissions and then poops them out and when he poops them out they've been turned into gold? Well if we gave Al Gore all 942 pounds of Brotherhood 2.0's carbon emissions, and he ate it all, and he pooped it all out, and it all came out gold, and it weighed the same coming out as it did going in, and then we stole the money from Al Gore, and then donated it to Daniel Biss' campaign, Daniel would have $10,429,824.
That's the bad news, Hank. But you know what the good news is? According to CarbonFund.org in order to offset our 942 pounds of carbon, it's gonna cost us about $2.75. Yes! Jeez, at prices like this, lonelygirl15 could go carbon neutral! So Hank, I've donated our $2.75 to CarbonFund.org, making Brotherhood 2.0, through the month of April anyway, carbon neutral.
I'll see you on Monday, Hank
OK, Hank, let's get started getting carbon neutral. According to Youtube, Brotherhood 2.0 has received 116,419 views. Each video averages about 3:09, which is, according to my calculations, 189 seconds? So to start we're going to multiply 116,419 times 189, which is, of course, 8 gajillion? Uh, no. It's 22,003,191. Wow! People have spent 22,003,191 seconds watching Brotherhood 2.0. We're famous! In a related story, Americans need more hobbies.
But it's not just the amount of time people spend watching our videos, it's also the amount of time people spend commenting on our videos and talking about, you know, how much cuter you are than me. Not that I'm jealous, but I have noticed that you've showed up on some blogs as one of the five celebrities that certain people would like to do certain things with, whereas I have, you know, not showed up on those blogs. But that's ok, I mean, you know, it's not a competition.
But you also have to factor in the amount of time that we spend making the videos. So, according to my calculations, the entire Brotherhood 2.0 project has taken up 22,856,391 seconds of computer time. That's 6,348.99 hours. Hank, according to some random website I just found, the average computer uses 110 watts per hour while browsing the internet. So you multiply the number of hours times 110 and you get 698,389.7. But then in order to find kilowatts we have to divide by 1000. 698.4 kilowatts. In the US, the average kilowatt takes about 1.35 pounds of carbon to create. So, you multiply that 698 times 1.35, and then you find out that our videoblog has personally led to 942.8 pounds of carbon emissions.
Now I know what you're saying, Hank. 942 pounds, that's not that much. After all, the average American produces about 23,000 pounds of carbon. But Hank, that means that Brotherhood 2.0 is about 1/23 of the average American, and Brotherhood 2.0 isn't even a person. It's an idea! Let me put this into perspective for you. According to Dimensions Magazine, there have only been 21 people in all of human history who weighed more than Brotherhood 2.0's carbon emissions.
Hank, you remember how I said in an earlier video that Al Gore eats carbon emissions and then poops them out and when he poops them out they've been turned into gold? Well if we gave Al Gore all 942 pounds of Brotherhood 2.0's carbon emissions, and he ate it all, and he pooped it all out, and it all came out gold, and it weighed the same coming out as it did going in, and then we stole the money from Al Gore, and then donated it to Daniel Biss' campaign, Daniel would have $10,429,824.
That's the bad news, Hank. But you know what the good news is? According to CarbonFund.org in order to offset our 942 pounds of carbon, it's gonna cost us about $2.75. Yes! Jeez, at prices like this, lonelygirl15 could go carbon neutral! So Hank, I've donated our $2.75 to CarbonFund.org, making Brotherhood 2.0, through the month of April anyway, carbon neutral.
I'll see you on Monday, Hank
Brotherhood 2.0: April 18th: Prom and Consequences
Emily: Good Morning, Hank!
John: Hank that was Emily Gould Co-Editor of the world famous website gawker.com You might be wondering why I’m lying on the floor of my living room, wearing a beat-up Seersucker suit and looking as if I was recently rode hard and put away wet. It’s because I was up very late last night attending the Young Adult Literature Prom.
(at prom) Tobin Anderson: Welcome to prom!
(in Johns Living room) It’s THE social event on the young adult literature calendar, but boy Hank, it took it out of me. (he tries to stand up & fails miserably) Uarrrgh….
(at prom) The light, the heat in your eyes.
(at home) It’s been a long night, my friend. And now I’ve gotta go to Mobile, Alabama. By the way, I didn’t know that reducing your carbon footprint meant eating unheated food. In that case I’m not reducing my carbon footprint at all, I’m just not turning on the lights unless I really have to. The prom last night wasn’t bad for my carbon footprint though. There were no lights at all. Look! (at prom, no lights)
(at home) I don’t wanna get on an airplane today. I don’t wanna go to an airport. I just wanna stay right down here. (prom footage)
John: Hank that was Emily Gould Co-Editor of the world famous website gawker.com You might be wondering why I’m lying on the floor of my living room, wearing a beat-up Seersucker suit and looking as if I was recently rode hard and put away wet. It’s because I was up very late last night attending the Young Adult Literature Prom.
(at prom) Tobin Anderson: Welcome to prom!
(in Johns Living room) It’s THE social event on the young adult literature calendar, but boy Hank, it took it out of me. (he tries to stand up & fails miserably) Uarrrgh….
(at prom) The light, the heat in your eyes.
(at home) It’s been a long night, my friend. And now I’ve gotta go to Mobile, Alabama. By the way, I didn’t know that reducing your carbon footprint meant eating unheated food. In that case I’m not reducing my carbon footprint at all, I’m just not turning on the lights unless I really have to. The prom last night wasn’t bad for my carbon footprint though. There were no lights at all. Look! (at prom, no lights)
(at home) I don’t wanna get on an airplane today. I don’t wanna go to an airport. I just wanna stay right down here. (prom footage)
(at home) Uuhhhhhh… that’s so nice. Why can’t I stay like this all day? I’d be so happy. (prom) (at home) Anyway Hank, the music wasn’t as good as it was at your wedding, but it was fairly good. Like.. it’s always nice to hear the Mickey Song. (footage of that song being played at prom and John singing and dancing)
(at home, john groans)
(at prom, footage of him dancing)
(at home, john groans more)
(at prom, footage of dancing)
(at home, john groans even more) Hank, when people ask me “Why don’t you love New York?” It’s because when people are trying to sleep. In his brand new Seersucker suit. There are car-alarms going off. At the ungodly hour of 10:25 in the morning.
(several people greet Hank at prom)
(at home, john groans)
(at prom, footage of him dancing)
(at home, john groans more)
(at prom, footage of dancing)
(at home, john groans even more) Hank, when people ask me “Why don’t you love New York?” It’s because when people are trying to sleep. In his brand new Seersucker suit. There are car-alarms going off. At the ungodly hour of 10:25 in the morning.
(several people greet Hank at prom)
April 17th: Stepped Up
Good morning John, it’s Tuesday, April 17th.
Politician: Using less energy more wisely is good for everybody. It’s good for the world, it’s good for the economy, and I want to make the whole world proud of this state.
Hank: This weekend Katherine and I attended a Step It Up rally, with its occasionally boring bureaucrats, folks waving signs and playing blues music and dancing to drum beats. And then we walked home. It’s a small town so we can pretty much walk everywhere. On the way home we saw several methods of alternative transportation, including ourselves walking, this train, training, and this guy, riding his bike. The rest of our electricity-free day was pretty easy, but it did get a little bit difficult around dinnertime.
Ah! It's Bright! Can you see me? Can you see me at all without the light on, because that’s too bright. There’s my teeth! There I am. We’ve got some electronic equipment on, but only electronic equipment that has batteries. It’s kind of hard to eat food, or cook food, anyways, without power. So I’m not sure what we’re going to have for dinner. Maybe we should cook it over the candle.
Ok, we’ve figured out some food options. Katherine has in front of her a piece of bread, some cottage cheese, uh, pickles, and olives. I have in front of me a tortilla with mozzarella cheese slices, tofu turkey and honey mustard. And we have also got, on the table, chips and salsa. Many of which need to be refrigerated, but none of which need to be heated, though it sure would be nice to heat this tortilla-thing up.
These are our candles. And then Katherine and I read by candlelight until we fell asleep. Which was very early. It’s a lot easier to go to sleep early if you don’t have light bulbs, because there’s nothing else to do.
I have to say that doing that for one day was pretty hard. Doing it for more than one day would be much harder. I mean, one day, you don’t really have to take a shower, you can go out to eat for lunch, you can have a really lame dinner, and not suffer too much. But doing it for an entire week- I don’t know how you’re going to do that. And as for light bulbs: it is really hard to not have lighting. Candles are actually much more inefficient than light bulbs: per unit of light, they create much more carbon than a light bulb powered by a coal power plant. The little guys, when they’re burning, they put off carbon dioxide just like any other fuel. They also don’t put off very much light, as I found out sitting in my bed holding my book up to the candle to try and read at ten o’clock at night. I generally go to bed about 2 AM.
It was a very enlightening experience. We spend 100% of every day surrounded by electronic stuff. It completely defines our life. Every bit of electronic equipment has that carbon footprint tied to it. It’s an interesting world we live in, John. But I think it is good to try to understand what life would be like without that stuff sometimes. All in all, I don’t think it would be better. Which is why I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how we can go forward. There’s no way we can get out of this mess without a lot of really good ideas.
I think it’s great that you haven’t decided to just offset your carbon with some strange scheme. You’ve got to figure out what devices actually make your life better, so you don’t have to use all the other ones. At the same time, I know that this week is going to be a huge pain in the ass, and I look forward to seeing you dealing with that tomorrow.
Politician: Using less energy more wisely is good for everybody. It’s good for the world, it’s good for the economy, and I want to make the whole world proud of this state.
Hank: This weekend Katherine and I attended a Step It Up rally, with its occasionally boring bureaucrats, folks waving signs and playing blues music and dancing to drum beats. And then we walked home. It’s a small town so we can pretty much walk everywhere. On the way home we saw several methods of alternative transportation, including ourselves walking, this train, training, and this guy, riding his bike. The rest of our electricity-free day was pretty easy, but it did get a little bit difficult around dinnertime.
Ah! It's Bright! Can you see me? Can you see me at all without the light on, because that’s too bright. There’s my teeth! There I am. We’ve got some electronic equipment on, but only electronic equipment that has batteries. It’s kind of hard to eat food, or cook food, anyways, without power. So I’m not sure what we’re going to have for dinner. Maybe we should cook it over the candle.
Ok, we’ve figured out some food options. Katherine has in front of her a piece of bread, some cottage cheese, uh, pickles, and olives. I have in front of me a tortilla with mozzarella cheese slices, tofu turkey and honey mustard. And we have also got, on the table, chips and salsa. Many of which need to be refrigerated, but none of which need to be heated, though it sure would be nice to heat this tortilla-thing up.
These are our candles. And then Katherine and I read by candlelight until we fell asleep. Which was very early. It’s a lot easier to go to sleep early if you don’t have light bulbs, because there’s nothing else to do.
I have to say that doing that for one day was pretty hard. Doing it for more than one day would be much harder. I mean, one day, you don’t really have to take a shower, you can go out to eat for lunch, you can have a really lame dinner, and not suffer too much. But doing it for an entire week- I don’t know how you’re going to do that. And as for light bulbs: it is really hard to not have lighting. Candles are actually much more inefficient than light bulbs: per unit of light, they create much more carbon than a light bulb powered by a coal power plant. The little guys, when they’re burning, they put off carbon dioxide just like any other fuel. They also don’t put off very much light, as I found out sitting in my bed holding my book up to the candle to try and read at ten o’clock at night. I generally go to bed about 2 AM.
It was a very enlightening experience. We spend 100% of every day surrounded by electronic stuff. It completely defines our life. Every bit of electronic equipment has that carbon footprint tied to it. It’s an interesting world we live in, John. But I think it is good to try to understand what life would be like without that stuff sometimes. All in all, I don’t think it would be better. Which is why I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how we can go forward. There’s no way we can get out of this mess without a lot of really good ideas.
I think it’s great that you haven’t decided to just offset your carbon with some strange scheme. You’ve got to figure out what devices actually make your life better, so you don’t have to use all the other ones. At the same time, I know that this week is going to be a huge pain in the ass, and I look forward to seeing you dealing with that tomorrow.
Brotherhood 2.0: April 16: Brotherhood of the Traveling Shirts
Good morning Hank, it's Monday April 16th. Friendly brotherly reminder: your taxes are due tomorrow. Hank, unfortunately I wasn't able to attend any of the Step It Up rallies and I'll tell you why. Instead of protesting carbon consumption, I was myself consuming carbon on a series of airplanes trying to get from San Antonio, Texas to New York City. I eventually got home but unfortunately by then all the Step It Up rallies were finished. I did, however, make a poster: (Shows poster, which says, handwritten on a piece of letter paper: STEP IT UP, CONGRESS! AND ALSO, STEP IT UP, SELF!)
I'm not very good at posters. Hank, just in case you can't read my scribbled handwriting, my poster says, "Step it up, Congress! And also, step it up, self!" Because I feel like I'm also not doing enough in the fight against climate change. And that's why, Hank, you may notice that today the video is a little darker than it usually is: it's because, for the next week, I'm not going to be using any kind of electricity that I don't absolutely have to use. The refrigerator is going to continue to run, my computer is going to continue to run when I need to use it, but I'm not going to use lights unless they are necessary as reading lights in the evening, and I'm not going to watch TV. Except for a couple of really important soccer games.
I'm also going to minimise my use of hot water, which is extremely difficult because, as you know, I like to take baths. Hank, throughout the week I'm going to be doing things to further reduce my carbon emissions, let me know if you have any ideas. Oh, and by the way, I loved your EcoGeek podcast, and look forward to more of them. -o be careful not to cut off the beginning of your sentences.
Guess what I got this weekend at the Texas Library Association convention? (Slowly reveals t-shirt saying NERD FIGHTER) Ooooh yeah! How awesome is this shirt, Hank? It's so awesome that when I looked on the Haines tag in the back it said that it's made out of 80% cotton, 10% polyester and 10% awesome. Thanks to Laura, pictured here, delivering the shirt.
Hank, unfortunately there's only one "Nerdfighter" shirt and I don't want you to be deprived of its awesomeness. So I'm going to propose a custody-sharing arrangement. I'm gonna send you the shirt now, and then maybe you can send it back to me around June or something and then I'll send it back to you, and you'll send it back to... It's kinda like the "Brotherhood of the Travelling Shirt".
After all Hank, what is brotherhood, if not sharing clothes? Remember, we always used to share clothes growing up. Remember that sailor suit that Mom made us? That was cool. That was really cool. Man, no wonder we were nerds.
And finally, Hank, I know this isn't necessarily a political video blog, but there is some Very Exciting Political News going on right now and I can't help but share it with you: Our resident mathematician, Daniel Biss, is running for state representative in the state of Illinois! We're gonna have a resident state representative! He'll be able to pass legislation that's helpful to brothers, and nerds, and Peeps, and video blogs.
His two most important issues? Raising the amount of funding we spend on education in Illinois, which is the 49th state in terms of education - Thank God for Mississippi! - and also cutting carbon emissions. Speaking of carbon emissions, I should shut off this video camera. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and P.S.: To make this sign? I used recycled paper. This is a page from my book, Hank, which I'm just beginning to seriously revise. That process is going to take several months. So expect me to become kind of moody until, say, September.
I'm not very good at posters. Hank, just in case you can't read my scribbled handwriting, my poster says, "Step it up, Congress! And also, step it up, self!" Because I feel like I'm also not doing enough in the fight against climate change. And that's why, Hank, you may notice that today the video is a little darker than it usually is: it's because, for the next week, I'm not going to be using any kind of electricity that I don't absolutely have to use. The refrigerator is going to continue to run, my computer is going to continue to run when I need to use it, but I'm not going to use lights unless they are necessary as reading lights in the evening, and I'm not going to watch TV. Except for a couple of really important soccer games.
I'm also going to minimise my use of hot water, which is extremely difficult because, as you know, I like to take baths. Hank, throughout the week I'm going to be doing things to further reduce my carbon emissions, let me know if you have any ideas. Oh, and by the way, I loved your EcoGeek podcast, and look forward to more of them. -o be careful not to cut off the beginning of your sentences.
Guess what I got this weekend at the Texas Library Association convention? (Slowly reveals t-shirt saying NERD FIGHTER) Ooooh yeah! How awesome is this shirt, Hank? It's so awesome that when I looked on the Haines tag in the back it said that it's made out of 80% cotton, 10% polyester and 10% awesome. Thanks to Laura, pictured here, delivering the shirt.
Hank, unfortunately there's only one "Nerdfighter" shirt and I don't want you to be deprived of its awesomeness. So I'm going to propose a custody-sharing arrangement. I'm gonna send you the shirt now, and then maybe you can send it back to me around June or something and then I'll send it back to you, and you'll send it back to... It's kinda like the "Brotherhood of the Travelling Shirt".
After all Hank, what is brotherhood, if not sharing clothes? Remember, we always used to share clothes growing up. Remember that sailor suit that Mom made us? That was cool. That was really cool. Man, no wonder we were nerds.
And finally, Hank, I know this isn't necessarily a political video blog, but there is some Very Exciting Political News going on right now and I can't help but share it with you: Our resident mathematician, Daniel Biss, is running for state representative in the state of Illinois! We're gonna have a resident state representative! He'll be able to pass legislation that's helpful to brothers, and nerds, and Peeps, and video blogs.
His two most important issues? Raising the amount of funding we spend on education in Illinois, which is the 49th state in terms of education - Thank God for Mississippi! - and also cutting carbon emissions. Speaking of carbon emissions, I should shut off this video camera. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and P.S.: To make this sign? I used recycled paper. This is a page from my book, Hank, which I'm just beginning to seriously revise. That process is going to take several months. So expect me to become kind of moody until, say, September.
Friday the 13th: Step it Up!
Good Morning John, it's Friday April 13th. I don't know very much about Kurt Vonnegut, but it's pretty clear that the English nerdfighters do, and with them I mourn. In times of mourning, it's easy to concentrate on the increase of worldsuck, but Brotherhood 2.0 isn't about recognizing when suck levels increase, it's about decreasing suck levels. This stuff on my head is for Kurt Vonnegut, but this video is for decreasing worldsuck.
(is wearing a compact fluorescent lightbulb on his head) Let's spend a little bit of time talking about global warming. As my last video showed, I spend an awful lot of time thinking about global warming, and while a vast majority of Americans have decided that global warming is a really big deal and that we really need to do something about it, so far no one is doing anything about it. I mean, we are individually, people are buying Priuses and turning off lights and using compact florescent lightbulbs, which I heartily encourage you to do. What needs to be done, can't be done just by individuals. There are pretty much three types of entities in the world: there are people, there are corporations, and there are governments. We got the people. We need the corporations and the governments. And I'll tell you what, it feels like we have the corporations more than we have the government, which is just screwed up! So if you want to talk about decreasing suck levels worldwide, we need to talk about decreasing temperatures worldwide, or at least decrease carbon emissions.
And just by coincidence, tomorrow is Step It Up Day. Step It Up is a campaign started by Bill McKibben, the guy who wrote that book I told you to read. Basically, its a campaign to say "Okay, Congress, uh, now we all agree that there's a problem, and you all agree that there's a problem, now you should do something." And the good news is that almost everybody can participate in a Step It Up event because they're like, they're everywhere. We've got one in Missoula, and one in Glacier, and one in Corvallis. I mean, in terms of Montana, thats like having three block parties on the same block. This is a big deal! There's like 400 of these things going on in New York City alone. Basically, everybody's getting together and having a bloddy fantastic time, trying not to emit very much carbon, and getting really angry at Congress! I mean, I love being angry at Congress.
John, I know that there's a bunch of these cool things going on in New York, and I challenge you to attend one of them. I want to see video of you at a Step It Up rally, even if you have to have a Step It Up rally of one, I want to see you asking Congress to step it up for 2007 and actually make some change. Also, I know there's some eco-nerdfighters out there, I want to see you guys stepping it up too. My personal step it up project, I am going to turn off my house. All of it... a-all of it, you won't see me on the internet, I won't be there because my house will be off. I will also be attending a rally in downtown Missoula and, uh I will be gardening, because that doesn't take any power, and it's a good thing to do anyways.
I have to go because this thing is falling off my head. I'll see you on Monday.
(is wearing a compact fluorescent lightbulb on his head) Let's spend a little bit of time talking about global warming. As my last video showed, I spend an awful lot of time thinking about global warming, and while a vast majority of Americans have decided that global warming is a really big deal and that we really need to do something about it, so far no one is doing anything about it. I mean, we are individually, people are buying Priuses and turning off lights and using compact florescent lightbulbs, which I heartily encourage you to do. What needs to be done, can't be done just by individuals. There are pretty much three types of entities in the world: there are people, there are corporations, and there are governments. We got the people. We need the corporations and the governments. And I'll tell you what, it feels like we have the corporations more than we have the government, which is just screwed up! So if you want to talk about decreasing suck levels worldwide, we need to talk about decreasing temperatures worldwide, or at least decrease carbon emissions.
And just by coincidence, tomorrow is Step It Up Day. Step It Up is a campaign started by Bill McKibben, the guy who wrote that book I told you to read. Basically, its a campaign to say "Okay, Congress, uh, now we all agree that there's a problem, and you all agree that there's a problem, now you should do something." And the good news is that almost everybody can participate in a Step It Up event because they're like, they're everywhere. We've got one in Missoula, and one in Glacier, and one in Corvallis. I mean, in terms of Montana, thats like having three block parties on the same block. This is a big deal! There's like 400 of these things going on in New York City alone. Basically, everybody's getting together and having a bloddy fantastic time, trying not to emit very much carbon, and getting really angry at Congress! I mean, I love being angry at Congress.
John, I know that there's a bunch of these cool things going on in New York, and I challenge you to attend one of them. I want to see video of you at a Step It Up rally, even if you have to have a Step It Up rally of one, I want to see you asking Congress to step it up for 2007 and actually make some change. Also, I know there's some eco-nerdfighters out there, I want to see you guys stepping it up too. My personal step it up project, I am going to turn off my house. All of it... a-all of it, you won't see me on the internet, I won't be there because my house will be off. I will also be attending a rally in downtown Missoula and, uh I will be gardening, because that doesn't take any power, and it's a good thing to do anyways.
I have to go because this thing is falling off my head. I'll see you on Monday.
April 11th: EcoGeek Podcasting
Good Morning, John. It’s Wednesday, April 11th and I hope you don’t mind if I do something a little bit different today. Last week you showed us a day in the life of John Green. Writing, as writers do. This Week, I would like to show you a little bit about what I do, but not so much by video-taping myself staring at my computer and typing, cause we discovered by watching your video that that wasn’t very interesting. But instead by discussing some of the biggest issues happening in green technology at the moment:
Residents of the virtual world “Second Life” were surprised by floodwaters rising in virtual versions of Tokyo, London and the Netherlands. The floods were caused by global warming activists, but not in the cool hacking the system kind of way, in the really lame asking everybody’s permission and then doing it kind of way.
You might not know this, but there is more silicon purchased by the solar power industry than by the microprocessor industry. That's right, silicon isn’t very easy to make in fact, it's really dangerous and produces a lot of toxic chemicals. Unless you are a marine sponge. Marine sponges are one of the only organisms in the world who can convert aqueous silicon to crystalline silicon. And the sponges do it without producing any toxic chemicals at all. Scientists at the university of California at Santa Barba are figuring out how those sponges are doing it, and they had some success.
When we talk about lighting there are a few things that matter:
1. How bright the light is.
2. How big the light is.
3. How much energy the light uses.
4. How many toxic substances go in to creating the light.
Compact fluorescence were doing pretty good there until number 4 with all their mercury, but now Phillips Electronics has produced the luxion rebel an LED that is tiny, produces tons of light with a little electricity and absolutely no toxic substances. This is great news, until you consider the fifth thing that matters when it comes to lighting and that’s price and this is not very cheap.
I’ve got a lot of these and I'm not proud of it (shows a cd spindle) That's a lot of plastic for very little gain, but some clever guy in some clever place has posted a picture at flickr, of his ingenious use of CD-Spindles. (shows a picture of a sandwich inside a CD-Spindel)
A motorcycle created and maintained by A123-Systems has broken the electric motorcycle speed record once again! The motorcycle is powered by a LOT of lithium-ion batteries and broke the speed record using 10-cents of electricity. That’s pretty good. The bike peaked out at 156 mph and finished the quarter mile in 9 seconds.
The city of Sidney turned off its lights. All of them for an hour last week. And it saved an amount of carbon that sounds very big. Lots of tons of carbon. But mostly it was just a great opportunity to take a pretty picture and say that ‘Australia is doing something’. Even though, they won’t sign onto the Kyoto-Protocol. Not that us Americans can talk.
And that’s the news from Ecogeek.org If you want to find out more details on those stories or read up on more green technology news, check out Ecogeek.org. So what did you think John. Was that.. was that, like, was that good? You liked that? I’m thinking about doing a podcast for ecogeek and I wanted to try it out. Any opinion is appreciated. Cool. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Residents of the virtual world “Second Life” were surprised by floodwaters rising in virtual versions of Tokyo, London and the Netherlands. The floods were caused by global warming activists, but not in the cool hacking the system kind of way, in the really lame asking everybody’s permission and then doing it kind of way.
You might not know this, but there is more silicon purchased by the solar power industry than by the microprocessor industry. That's right, silicon isn’t very easy to make in fact, it's really dangerous and produces a lot of toxic chemicals. Unless you are a marine sponge. Marine sponges are one of the only organisms in the world who can convert aqueous silicon to crystalline silicon. And the sponges do it without producing any toxic chemicals at all. Scientists at the university of California at Santa Barba are figuring out how those sponges are doing it, and they had some success.
When we talk about lighting there are a few things that matter:
1. How bright the light is.
2. How big the light is.
3. How much energy the light uses.
4. How many toxic substances go in to creating the light.
Compact fluorescence were doing pretty good there until number 4 with all their mercury, but now Phillips Electronics has produced the luxion rebel an LED that is tiny, produces tons of light with a little electricity and absolutely no toxic substances. This is great news, until you consider the fifth thing that matters when it comes to lighting and that’s price and this is not very cheap.
I’ve got a lot of these and I'm not proud of it (shows a cd spindle) That's a lot of plastic for very little gain, but some clever guy in some clever place has posted a picture at flickr, of his ingenious use of CD-Spindles. (shows a picture of a sandwich inside a CD-Spindel)
A motorcycle created and maintained by A123-Systems has broken the electric motorcycle speed record once again! The motorcycle is powered by a LOT of lithium-ion batteries and broke the speed record using 10-cents of electricity. That’s pretty good. The bike peaked out at 156 mph and finished the quarter mile in 9 seconds.
The city of Sidney turned off its lights. All of them for an hour last week. And it saved an amount of carbon that sounds very big. Lots of tons of carbon. But mostly it was just a great opportunity to take a pretty picture and say that ‘Australia is doing something’. Even though, they won’t sign onto the Kyoto-Protocol. Not that us Americans can talk.
And that’s the news from Ecogeek.org If you want to find out more details on those stories or read up on more green technology news, check out Ecogeek.org. So what did you think John. Was that.. was that, like, was that good? You liked that? I’m thinking about doing a podcast for ecogeek and I wanted to try it out. Any opinion is appreciated. Cool. I’ll see you tomorrow.
April 3rd: Seattle!
Good morning, John. It’s Tuesday, April something. I’m in Washington. There’s wind turbines. I think wind turbines are pretty, but a lot of people seem to think that wind turbines are ugly and so they don’t want to put them on mountain ridges. But I don’t understand that. The third. It’s…it’s the third.
(looking at a metal tree) We went to Seattle to see some friends and for no other reason besides that. Well, we also wanted to see a comedy show (shows a clip) and, you know, eat some real food (cooked ducks) and do things that you can only do in a big city. Like drive. (some tunnels) Yeah, there was a lot of driving. Saw the Space Needle…from a car.
One of the awesomest parts of Seattle is the public market. (shows some clips of public market activities) Which is sort of a three-story-deep market with all kinds of strange things in it. Like, there’s street performers and there’s fish with stuff in their mouths. And people throwing fish, throwing fish around like crazy. Lots of ‘em. And then there was this girl, and she asked if they’d ever hit someone with a fish, and they said, “Well, not on purpose.” And she didn’t believe them, so they showed her.
And then there was this donut-making machine which was awesome and obviously has been there longer than Krispy Kreme has ever existed. And this guy who was just a wizard with donuts. I tell ya, a wizard. I’m pretty sure that there aren’t very many donut wizards, but this guy, uh, is pretty much the definition of donut wizard.
(in room) They were really good donuts, too. So I gotta say thanks to everybody in Seattle, everybody, that’s…that’s everybody. And if there’s any of you watching, thanks. Seattle is a great town. On top of that, special thanks go to Ashley, Jason, Brian, and Becca for showing us around the town and giving us a place to sleep and letting us play their video game. It was an awesome weekend, and I need an awesome weekend. I’m back home and facing punishment.
You know, you can have the best job in the world, but some days you’ll wake up and you won’t want to go to work. That’s just what work is. No one would pay you to do something that you’d just do anyway. This morning, I woke up, and I’m very sorry to you, John, and to all of our viewers. I didn’t want to make a video. I wanted to lay in bed all day. We had a really bad drive home. The pass was pretty much covered in two inches of ice. And it was very stressful even though I wasn’t even driving. Eh…Thank you, Katherine; oh, my God.
Yeah, this morning, I just…I wanted to stay in bed. We’d had too much fun this weekend and I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to make TV. I wanted to watch TV. And I did; I watched a little bit of TV, and it was good. And now I’m up, and I’m going, and I’m making a video. You know? I’m doing it. I’m showing you what happened in Seattle. And that’s good footage, that’s good stuff. And I’m making it. And you know I’m, I’m happy about it. And I’m glad that I kicked myself out of bed to do it, even though it’s, like, 6:00 in the evening now.
Thank you to the one person who has stuck up for me. And giving that $10 to the Campaign to Decrease Suck Levels Worldwide, that was very kind, but there’s only one of you, and I need 19 more before we can really get me off the hook here. So, I’d like to see those start rollin in. And, if not, I’m gonna have to figure out a punishment to do for Thursday. Obviously I haven’t figured out which punishment I’m going to do. You’re all just going to have to wait and see.
John, I’ll see you tomorrow.
(looking at a metal tree) We went to Seattle to see some friends and for no other reason besides that. Well, we also wanted to see a comedy show (shows a clip) and, you know, eat some real food (cooked ducks) and do things that you can only do in a big city. Like drive. (some tunnels) Yeah, there was a lot of driving. Saw the Space Needle…from a car.
One of the awesomest parts of Seattle is the public market. (shows some clips of public market activities) Which is sort of a three-story-deep market with all kinds of strange things in it. Like, there’s street performers and there’s fish with stuff in their mouths. And people throwing fish, throwing fish around like crazy. Lots of ‘em. And then there was this girl, and she asked if they’d ever hit someone with a fish, and they said, “Well, not on purpose.” And she didn’t believe them, so they showed her.
And then there was this donut-making machine which was awesome and obviously has been there longer than Krispy Kreme has ever existed. And this guy who was just a wizard with donuts. I tell ya, a wizard. I’m pretty sure that there aren’t very many donut wizards, but this guy, uh, is pretty much the definition of donut wizard.
(in room) They were really good donuts, too. So I gotta say thanks to everybody in Seattle, everybody, that’s…that’s everybody. And if there’s any of you watching, thanks. Seattle is a great town. On top of that, special thanks go to Ashley, Jason, Brian, and Becca for showing us around the town and giving us a place to sleep and letting us play their video game. It was an awesome weekend, and I need an awesome weekend. I’m back home and facing punishment.
You know, you can have the best job in the world, but some days you’ll wake up and you won’t want to go to work. That’s just what work is. No one would pay you to do something that you’d just do anyway. This morning, I woke up, and I’m very sorry to you, John, and to all of our viewers. I didn’t want to make a video. I wanted to lay in bed all day. We had a really bad drive home. The pass was pretty much covered in two inches of ice. And it was very stressful even though I wasn’t even driving. Eh…Thank you, Katherine; oh, my God.
Yeah, this morning, I just…I wanted to stay in bed. We’d had too much fun this weekend and I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to make TV. I wanted to watch TV. And I did; I watched a little bit of TV, and it was good. And now I’m up, and I’m going, and I’m making a video. You know? I’m doing it. I’m showing you what happened in Seattle. And that’s good footage, that’s good stuff. And I’m making it. And you know I’m, I’m happy about it. And I’m glad that I kicked myself out of bed to do it, even though it’s, like, 6:00 in the evening now.
Thank you to the one person who has stuck up for me. And giving that $10 to the Campaign to Decrease Suck Levels Worldwide, that was very kind, but there’s only one of you, and I need 19 more before we can really get me off the hook here. So, I’d like to see those start rollin in. And, if not, I’m gonna have to figure out a punishment to do for Thursday. Obviously I haven’t figured out which punishment I’m going to do. You’re all just going to have to wait and see.
John, I’ll see you tomorrow.
March 30th: Manliness!
(from backyard) Good morning, John. It’s Friday, March 30th. I can’t believe I sent you that email. You know, I guess you try to do something nice and this is what happens. (sigh) To console myself for my idiocy, I’ve come over to my friend Joel’s house. Joel is a hunter and a fisherman, and he has dogs and he has guns and he’s just a manly guy. And he’s having a venison steak dinner tonight, and he’s invited Katherine and I over to partake.
(music begins: “Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys” by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson) Manly times await. (shot of a deer head on ground) This is the head of a deer! It’s being used to fertilize Joel’s garden. I wonder if there’s any other deer parts in here. (two dogs, some deer antlers hang over a mantelpiece, Joel rubs venison steaks around in a cooking dish, a beer sign, some more deer antlers, some more venison cooking clips, Joel bench-presses a large antler, then opens a beer with it and does bicep curls with it)
(back at home; Hank looks shocked) If there’s anyone out there who didn’t quite get what just happened, Joel just opened that beer bottle with an elk antler. This is a man who is very experienced at opening beer bottles with whatever is nearby. I mean, I’m not being manly, but that was a lot of manliness all packed into one thing, with an elk antler and curling and drinking beer and opening beer with an elk antler. I really don’t think you could get much more manly than that.
Now, I’m not saying a woman couldn’t do all of those things because absolutely they could. But in a stereotypical world, that was very stereotypically manly. We then continued to do manly things like talk about shooting deer and eating shot deer. It was really a very nice evening. About halfway through dinner I asked Joel about the meat we were eating. I didn’t turn on the camera quite in time, but I got most of what he said.
Joel: Mule deer, and a little white tail. They're both in a mixture. They're both little deer. They’re both eaters; nice, young, tasty. Lived a short, unfulfilling life. (general laughter, comments about Joel "you just follow the mommies around" and "Dark side of Joel")
Hank: Just so everyone knows, after I turned off the camera Joel started discussing the ethics and also the ecological impact of hunting and whether or not it was more sensible to shoot young deer or old deer. According to Joel, and Joel is an ecological scientist, it’s actually healthier for a herd to lose its younger animals. But really, I think what makes the most difference is that the young ones taste a heck of a lot better.
Joel: (at the dinner table) It’s like flaky, fall-apart, just, tender. It’s tender! (Hank takes a bite out of a steak) It’s just very flavorful.
A woman: So good.
Hank: It really is very good.
Woman: That’s good.
Hank: (at home) Chuck, I hope you’re satisfied that the manliness factor for Brotherhood 2.0 has increased substantially. If anybody was disturbed by the images, keep in mind that I live in Montana and that people have guns and they shoot animals, and that’s just how we do things here. John, I’ll see you on Monday.
(music begins: “Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys” by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson) Manly times await. (shot of a deer head on ground) This is the head of a deer! It’s being used to fertilize Joel’s garden. I wonder if there’s any other deer parts in here. (two dogs, some deer antlers hang over a mantelpiece, Joel rubs venison steaks around in a cooking dish, a beer sign, some more deer antlers, some more venison cooking clips, Joel bench-presses a large antler, then opens a beer with it and does bicep curls with it)
(back at home; Hank looks shocked) If there’s anyone out there who didn’t quite get what just happened, Joel just opened that beer bottle with an elk antler. This is a man who is very experienced at opening beer bottles with whatever is nearby. I mean, I’m not being manly, but that was a lot of manliness all packed into one thing, with an elk antler and curling and drinking beer and opening beer with an elk antler. I really don’t think you could get much more manly than that.
Now, I’m not saying a woman couldn’t do all of those things because absolutely they could. But in a stereotypical world, that was very stereotypically manly. We then continued to do manly things like talk about shooting deer and eating shot deer. It was really a very nice evening. About halfway through dinner I asked Joel about the meat we were eating. I didn’t turn on the camera quite in time, but I got most of what he said.
Joel: Mule deer, and a little white tail. They're both in a mixture. They're both little deer. They’re both eaters; nice, young, tasty. Lived a short, unfulfilling life. (general laughter, comments about Joel "you just follow the mommies around" and "Dark side of Joel")
Hank: Just so everyone knows, after I turned off the camera Joel started discussing the ethics and also the ecological impact of hunting and whether or not it was more sensible to shoot young deer or old deer. According to Joel, and Joel is an ecological scientist, it’s actually healthier for a herd to lose its younger animals. But really, I think what makes the most difference is that the young ones taste a heck of a lot better.
Joel: (at the dinner table) It’s like flaky, fall-apart, just, tender. It’s tender! (Hank takes a bite out of a steak) It’s just very flavorful.
A woman: So good.
Hank: It really is very good.
Woman: That’s good.
Hank: (at home) Chuck, I hope you’re satisfied that the manliness factor for Brotherhood 2.0 has increased substantially. If anybody was disturbed by the images, keep in mind that I live in Montana and that people have guns and they shoot animals, and that’s just how we do things here. John, I’ll see you on Monday.
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