July 9: The Punishment Fiasco

Good morning Hank it's Monday, July 9th. Welcome to my guest bedroom. By the way for the last two weeks I've been giving you a tour of my house. Have you noticed? Hank over the last few days several commenters and also some people in My Pants have said that you and I, uh, textually communicated on purpose because we miss getting punished. Would that it were so. The fact of the matter is that we're just really stupid. I mean, I don't think you're that stupid, I think that you were probably doing six at once and just happened to textually communicate with me. I think that I'm stupid. I don't enjoy punishments, although I do enjoy you getting punished.
Hank to prove to you that I didn't get punished on purpose, I'm going to recreate the actual textual communication we had. So I'm sittin around, working on my new book, thinking about what the title should be and all of a sudden, on my screen, up pops a video chat request from you. And I say to myself, well, you know, video isn't text so that's allowed. So I hit OK, but for some reason it doesn't work, doesn't go through. And then I get a text screen pops up that says OK I'm here now. And I'm like, is that Katherine? Did Katherine go up on Hank's IM? And so I say, Katherine? And the person responds, no Hank. And then I'm like (dances) YES YES YES YES YES YES! And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking to myself he's gonna get punished. He's so punished. And then I just wanted to tell ya, Hank. I just wanted to tell you how punished you were. And so I said Dude, you are so punished! And then I hit return.
(image of a Nerdfighters live here sign) Wait, I ju- we just need to take a quick time out from this story. Just to say Nerdfighters!
Honestly Hank? Even after I typed enter, even after I saw the words Dude you are so punished pop up on the screen. I was just like dobidydoobidydabidydabididoodoo. And then I noticed that you weren't writing back, and I was like, why isn't Hank writing back to me? And then I said, oh, right it's because we're not textually communicating. Doh! Stupid stupid stupid! GAHH I'm gonna get punished!
I think that we have your punishment all set up in My Pants. It look like your punishment is definitely going to involve wait- can we- can we go ahead and cue up the- (image of Hank in makeup) YES! Yes! It's going to involve recreating that! I don't know the other details, but it's definitely going to involve recreating that picture.
As for my punishment, it doesn't seem like anyone's said a lot of anything, and Hank maybe you could go into My Pants and help people talk about it and pick stuff that you think would be particularly harmful to me.
Oh, and Hank, quick side note: I know that we can't veto our punishments, obviously, because then they wouldn't be punishments, but I do think that our wives should have the right to veto punishments that the Nerdfighters suggest for us. Because nothing against the Nerdfighters, but sometimes they suggest punishments that are sort of, uh, maniacal. Like, oh, I think you should have to do your happy dance in public 200 times and then after that you should have to saw off your leg. Now the fact that I don't want to saw off my leg shouldn't figure into the punishment thing at all. But the fact that the Yeti doesn't want me to saw off my leg that's a deal breaker to me. So I hope we can agree: wives have veto power. And, uh, I will see you tomorrow. But more importantly, hopefully by Thursday, I will see (image) this guy again!