Brotherhood 2.0: February 15, 2007

A bunch of high school students: Good morning, Hank! It’s Thursday!
John: Hank, after a long delay because of snow in Columbus, Ohio, I finally reached Houston, Texas, where, by the grace of God, it is not snowing. There was one really cool thing about the Columbus airport, though. They had Nerd Fighters! (shot of the Nerd Fighters game) Nerd Fighters!
Here’s my question about Nerd Fighters: Is Nerd Fighters a game about people who fight against nerds, or is it a game about nerds who fight against other people? I’ve come to believe that Nerd Fighters is a game about nerds who fight. Nerds who tackle the scourge of popular people. And I’ve been thinking to myself: this would be a great video game! It could be, like, a mix between Mortal Kombat and Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. Like, first you pick your character. Everyone would totally have their own special powers. Like, the band geek would be like, “I will destroy your ears with my tuba!” And the theatre guy would be like, “I am an expert at sword-fighting!” And the English nerd would be like, umm, “I know a lot of Shakespeare quotes!” Using the English nerd when you’re playing Nerd Fighters is kind of like using Toad when you’re playing Super Mario Kart.
So you would pick your Nerd Fighter and then you would go to war with popular people. The Mike Tyson of the game would be the quarterback of the high school football team. And you’d have to dodge his uppercuts (dodges) and dodge his uppercuts and dodge his uppercuts and then jab! I mean, to be honest, I’ve never even really understood the war between nerds and popular people. Like, who do…who do…who do you guys got?

Glasses off, not a nerd: Umm…we’ve got George W. Bush and, like, Tom Brady.
Nerd: Oh, okay. Well, I see your George W. Bush with Bill Clinton, and I raise you an Abraham Lincoln and a Franklin Delano Roosevelt. And, I can easily see your Tom Brady with the thinking man’s football player, Tiki Barber, and I think I can raise you, hmm, an Isaac Newton, a William Shakespeare, a Blaise Pascal, an Albert Einstein, an Immanuel Kant, an Aristotle, a Jane Austen, a Bill Gates, a Mahatma Ghandi, a Nelson Mandela, and all four Beatles.
We win! And yet, Hank, the war continues. You know what we need for Nerd Fighters? We need a theme song:
(singing) We’ve got calculators and trombones.

We’ve got D&D and Star Wars drones. 

They’re in their original box, too, which makes them a lot more valuable. 

Nerd Fighters! We’re fighting nerds! [flexes arms] 

We’re no longer just using our words. 

Although, by and large, we are really articulate, so

When I’m not watching Battlestar Gallactica, 

I’m designing weapons that’ll kick your asstica. 

Nerd Fighters! We fight within our brains! 

Nerd Fighters! We bring the frakkin’ pain. 

It’s a reference to a sci-fi show. I don’t know…

I mean, maybe you never saw it, but it was really…

it was a really good show. 

Umm, I liked it a lot, umm, and some of my friends liked it. 

I mean, not…they’re not real friends. 

I just know them on the Internet.
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Hank, now that you’ve successfully completed the Strawberry Hill challenge, I fell like it’s time that we had some more challenges. So maybe you or our viewers can start suggesting some.