May 11th: Heroes

Good morning, John, it's Friday May 11th. (shots of Hank and Katherine zooming around on bikes) For our birthdays Mom and Dad got us new bikes! It's Katherine's birthday next week so she got one too. And now we have two really nice bikes so we can ride around town all the time. We can ride our bikes to the garden, and we won't have to use any fossil fuels or create any carbon.
They're really nice, too. Thanks Mom and Dad, and happy Mother's Day, mom! Do you know what I love? My mom. But also, I love questions about superheroes. Who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman? That one- that one's not very interesting. But there are lots of superhero questions that I like to answer. I especially like to think about what kind of super powers I would like to have if I could have super powers.
I mean, you can't really beat Superman for having super powers, unless you could travel in time. Though that could definitely get very confusing very quickly. I think that that would be probably the hardest super power to have. As you get more power, dealing with that power becomes more difficult. All superheroes deal with that. I think a time stopping man would have even more problems. Where do you draw the line? I mean, you could save everybody as long as you didn't age while you were saving people. You could save everybody in the world. Pretty much. And if you did age? Then you'd have to use your time very wisely, you'd have to save the maximum- yeah, that would be a hard power to have, but it would be the most power, I think, of any superhero. Unless you were Superman and you could travel in time. That would be more power. And you'd also have to make sure that you didn't accidentally negate your own existence while you were in the past.
I would probably not mess with the past if I was a time traveling superhero. You go back and you try and stop the Holocaust and suddenly you've disappeared. Put a needle in Hitler's eye when he's a baby. Would it be OK to kill baby Hitler? I mean, he's just a baby. This is why it would be so hard to be a time traveling super hero! I don't know. I'm interested in people's opinions on whether it would be OK to kill baby Hitler.
Now the reason I'm talking about this, John, is because one of the commenters asked me what I would do if I woke up in the morning and had Spiderman's powers. I mean, I gotta be honest, I would definitely start out the way that Peter Parker did in Spiderman 1 by taking off my shirt and flexing in the mirror. And then I would probably get Katherine, and flex at her. And then I would- might go downtown and flex at random people? I've never really had flex-able- flex-able? flex-ish? flexing. The capability of flexing really, and I think that I would enjoy that. Beyond that, um, I would probably move away from Missoula because Spiderman's powers in Missoula, Montana would be fairly useless. Swing from the seven story building to the six story building! And then, I could swing back! Over and over again. I think Spiderman in Missoula would be very bored, I think he would go hiking a lot. I think, actually, that the awesomeness of a superhero is dependent on the size of his city. Because if there's not a lot of people to save, what do you need a superhero for? A superhero in Missoula would be very part time. Like, you work at the Taco shop, and then be like, guys I gotta go I just been listening in on the police scanner and there's been an accident on Highway 22 and I have to travel back in time and use my Superman powers to stop it.
So yeah, if I was Spiderman, I would either keep it a secret and just flex a lot, or I would move to a big city and actually, uh, get something accomplished. Wow. I sure did spend that entire video talking about superheroes. (does salute) Hoo Hah, Nerdfighters! See you on Monday.