Good morning Hank, it's Wednesday, May 3rd. No it's not, it's May 2nd, am I ever gonna get that right? I'm sitting in front of different books because change is good.
(sings) Helena, Montana. Helena, Montana.
Good work with the song. In fact Hank, you did such a good job with the song that I can't help but think that maybe you could write one song every two weeks for the rest of the project. Say, every time you have to do a Wednesday. That would be fun and also easy! And by easy I mean, you know, for me.
Hank, thanks also for standing in that line to get Neil Gaiman to say hi to me. Neil Gaiman signed more books on that day in Helena, Montana than I've signed in my entire career. I gotta start writing about Neil Gaiman stuff.
And speaking of books, there's big news out of the young adult literature world. Brotherhood 2.0 fan and future secret sister Maureen Johnson has just had a book banned in Oklahoma. Hank, the book in question is called The Bermudez Triangle. I don't wanna do it, I don't wanna do it, I don't wanna do it...ahh in your pants! Ahhhh feels so good when you let it out. The Bermudez Triangle...in your pants.
Hank, the fact that The Bermudez Triangle is funny when you add "in your pants" is literally the dirtiest thing about the book. There is nothing in it that's inappropriate for teen readers. For that matter, there's not really anything in it that's inappropriate for like, 10 year-olds. Hank, one of the biggest problems with book banning isn't even the books that get banned, it's the books that don't get banned because they never get into libraries in the first place because people are scared that they're going to get banned. Part of the reason we have to fight challenges is so that librarians know that we're with them when they get challenged. The other main reason that we have to fight challenges is because it's absolutely ridiculous to ban The Bermudez Triangle from a high school library, when it doesn't even contain any, like, dirty words or dirty scenes or anything! All it contains is gay characters. Honestly Bartlesville Mid High School, are you seriously going to ban all books that contain gay characters from your high school library? Are you gonna ban Bridget Jones's Diary? The Color Purple? No Exit? Brideshead Revisited? Angels in America? The Picture of Dorian Gray?
No, I don't think novels should be removed from high school libraries simply because they have homosexual characters. If you agree with me, I put the email addresses of all the people who were on the committee, most of whom haven't even read the book, right there (points down), beneath my picture. Let's email them, and tell them that we won't stand for this.
And then Hank, if they don't email us back, we can call them on Friday. I do have their phone numbers. I'll see you tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment