Brotherhood 2.0: April 2nd: Punishments in the Ramble

(outside by a stream) Good morning, Hank. What's today? Uh, what's today, Tuesday? It's February 2nd.
The Yeti: No.
John: April 2nd. What is...?
The Yeti: It's Monday.
John: Good morning, Hank. It's Monday, April 2nd. I'm standing here in the Ramble in Central Park, our answer to the state of Montana. Hank, I'd like to show you the difference between your wilderness in Montana and our wilderness here in New York. The Yeti and I were walking happily along through the Ramble when we came across—you guessed it—porn. (showing several sheets of paper lying on the ground) I'm gonna have to shoot this at a wider angle so we don't offend our younger viewers, but trust me, it's very dirty.
Hank, I've been walking through the Ramble trying to think of your punishment. It's been hard. All the Nerdfighters have had such great suggestions; I just don't know which one to pick. I think I'll let you choose your own punishment—well, from a list of five. Broadly speaking, I think there are two kinds of punishments: embarrassment/humiliation punishments and pain punishments. So far, we've tended to emphasize pain punishments because pain is funny. But humiliation is also funny.
So my first suggestion is that you attend a senior water aerobics class. I'm sure they have one at the YMCA in Missoula. They do have a YMCA, don't they? Option 2: Have your chin waxed by a professional. Option 3: Act out your most embarrassing moment using hand puppets. Note: that had better be one embarrassing moment, Hank. I don't want you cheating me. If you're going to do that punishment, it had better be every bit as embarrassing as waxing your chin would be painful. Option 4: Convince people in downtown Missoula to sing verses from the nerdfighter song with you. Okay, for option 5 I'm going to get up close to a goose. I'm scared of geese, but it's gonna be awesome.
(sneaks up to a goose) I'm scared. (to the goose) No, we're friends! Friends. Friends. Friends. No? Friends. No! (the goose walks away running back up towards camera) Option 5: visit your local GM dealer and test drive a Hummer.

I hope you enjoy your punishment. I'll see you tomorrow.
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and I've got a message for all you "Free Hank" people. You want to free Hank? If 20 people give $10 to The Foundation to Decrease WorldSuck, Hank doesn't have to do a punishment at all.