Helen Hunt

Good morning John, it's Wednesday April 25th. Judy Blume. That's weird. I admit it. You admit it. We admit it. We're weird! Helen Hunt and Judy Blume are weird people to have in your Guilt-Three Free. Guilt-Three Free? Weird people to have in your Guilt-Free Three. Especially since I only have one person in my Guilt-Free Three. Katherine has known about this for a long time. She doesn't like it. But there are haters out there! You can't help it! You can't help who's on your Guilt-Free Three! And so, for Helen Hunt, who deserves to be on Guilt-Free Threes all over the nation. I've written a song.
(singing): The first time I saw you was the day that I hit puberty,
Played a beautiful girl, shunned by society,
It wasn't your fault, you just smoked one laced dooby,
That after-school special made me want to never do PCP.
Helen Hunt, Helen Hunt,
You make my heart do acrobatic stunts,
You stand and face the brunt of the twister of my burning want,
Helen Hunt, you know I'm Mad About You.
I saw you naked in The Waterdance,
It was As Good As It Gets in my pants,
And for that I really want to thank you,
Your husband's name was Hank, right? Well, my name is Hank, too.
Helen Hunt, Helen Hunt,
You make my heart do acrobatic stunts,
You stand and face the brunt of the twister of my burning want,
Helen Hunt, you know I'm Mad About You.
Once an ex-best friend of mine said he couldn't see,
How an old and ugly actress could mean so much to me.
Well, a minute later looking down at him bleeding in the snow,
I asked him who was Best Comedy Actress four years in a row.
Helen Hunt, Helen Hunt,
You make my heart do acrobatic stunts,
You stand and face the brunt of the twister of my burning want,
Helen Hunt, you know I'm Mad About You.
Helen Hunt, you know I'm Mad About You.
(speaking) I just watched that video all the way through, and it's really, really creepy. Oh, my God. I'm the creepiest of them all! Yes! Why do I spend so much time on these things? Some days... I just get a little carried away, okay? Sorry. Take that, all you people who think that there's no reason to love Helen Hunt. She made me never want to do PCP. Helen, if you're watching this, I'm really not that scary.
And now that that's done with, I'll see you tomorrow.