(shot of torso clapping, kneels down) Hank, that's your standing ovation for the Helen Hunt song.
(at beach) Good morning, Hank, it's Thursday April 26th. The Pacific Ocean is behind me and Los Angeles is in front of me. (inside) Hank it's been a day of crazy Hollywood meetings. And so I thought I'd give you a quick run through of everything that's happened. First my agent and I were walking down the beach in Los Angeles when we came across this sculpture (shot of sculpture) and I was like, what is that a sculpture of? It sure looks like a sculpture of something dirty! And then I walked around it and uh- it's the Virgin Mary. Weird!
(show of yellow car parked obnoxiously) Mission for the Nerdfighters: find this guy (License plate says SHEERAZ) (in car) statistical chances I don't like that guy? 100%. (shot of red hummer, middle finger) Hank this is the most important meeting I have today, it's with people who might want to turn An Abundance of Katherines into a movie. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have eaten a whole barbeque chicken pizza about twelve minutes ago over the course of about 48 seconds. (burps)
Hank do you remember when you were in, like, eighth grade and it occurred to you for the first time that there were people who might actually like you and be willing to be your friend, and how exciting that was? It seems to me that everyone in Los Angeles is stuck in eighth grade. They're still so excited about the chance that somebody, somewhere might like them. Oh my God, I like you so much! I like you too, you're great! I love you, you look great in that!
(techno plays) Also Hank, everywhere you go there are speakers like this pointed outside playing music like that. (camera dances to beat)
OK, Hank, it's time for the meeting. Here we are outside the building. I'm gonna show you what it looks like, real quick. They're very very welcoming. Check it out Hank (shot of room filled with frames and birdhouses) It's like the opposite of Los Angeles. I mean you have to say, per square inch, it contains more items than any other place I've ever been inside of. I'm remind a little bit of my college girlfriend Marie Ponzillo, who's parents had the largest Santa Claus collection on the East Coast. You know what I keep thinking? Mom would be so happy here. (shot of room) I mean to Mom? This would be like, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory. She would just be so happy.
Hank I have great news! I can see into the future (shot of fortune telling toy)
Toy: Ask me what's on your mind.
John: Here's my question for Madam See More, is it ever gonna happen between Hank and Helen Hunt?
Toy: My crystal ball says: Highly doubtful. Ask me what's on your mind.
John: Umm, would I do a good job writing the Abundance of Katherines screenplay?
Toy: Psychic energy suggests: it's not in the stars.
John: Dang.
Toy: I am thinking it over, absolutely, positively, definitely.
John: But, you just told me no.
Toy: The wisdom of the ages tells me: ask me again later
(back in room) So anyway Hank, the meeting ended up going really well, Madam See More be damned. See you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood2.0 logo) P.S. any Nerdfighters wanna participate in a top secret project? Email me at John@sparksflyup.com
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