Hank, I'm about to wax my chin. (to Yeti) What should I expect from this?
Yeti: Pain?
John: First we have to microwave the wax. (puts the wax in the microwave, closes door as Yeti then pushes the correct buttons) (sings) Dadum. Dadum. Dadumdadumdadum. Dodododo! Now I have to go wash my face! (John's washing his face while talking) I'm really worried, you've made it out to be so horrible. (focus in on John's unshaven face) The time has come, Hank. The wax is about to be applied! (wax is put on John's beard while a song plays, then the patch of cloth is put on) 1, (grabs cloth) I'm very scared. 1, 2, 3. (only pulls the cloth halfway off) OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGOD!
(Yeti laughing softly) OHMYGOD. (looks at himself in the mirror) How did it not come off, I pulled so hard!
Yeti: I'll do it...
(with renewed confidence, John grabs the cloth again) 1, 2, 3! Ohhhhahhh it can't come off! This is horrible! Oh my god, 1, can I pull slowly?
Yeti: No-
(John pulls it off and shows the camera the strip of cloth)
Yeti: You're bleeding...you're bleeding.
John: That sucked! (looks in mirror) (John with wax and strip of cloth on his chin again) Because I'm a hard worker and I believe in the project and I believe in Brotherhood 2.0, I'm going to try it one more time; but if I bleed again (shakes head) that's it. Oh god. It's much harder to do once you know how much it's going to suck. I mean last time I was like, oh, (mimics pulling off the strip) AHH; but this time I know how much it's going to hurt. (takes a deep breath) 1...oh god, I don't want to do it, oh god, 1, 2, 3. (pulls the strip off completely) (holds up the strip) See all the blood, you bastard? Hank, we're going to have to switch punishments, because this one makes me bleed! (points to chin)
(in living room again, holds up a bag of popcorn) 94 percent fat free popcorn, only two points on Weight Watchers for the entire bag, (holds up a bowl) mint chocolate chip ice cream, 13 points. I'm going to watch the mint chocolate chip melt while I eat my crappy popcorn. (eats popcorn while music plays) Thanks for giving me an alternative punishment, I'll see you tomorrow. (shows the melted bowl of ice cream)
Yeti: No-
(John pulls it off and shows the camera the strip of cloth)
Yeti: You're bleeding...you're bleeding.
John: That sucked! (looks in mirror) (John with wax and strip of cloth on his chin again) Because I'm a hard worker and I believe in the project and I believe in Brotherhood 2.0, I'm going to try it one more time; but if I bleed again (shakes head) that's it. Oh god. It's much harder to do once you know how much it's going to suck. I mean last time I was like, oh, (mimics pulling off the strip) AHH; but this time I know how much it's going to hurt. (takes a deep breath) 1...oh god, I don't want to do it, oh god, 1, 2, 3. (pulls the strip off completely) (holds up the strip) See all the blood, you bastard? Hank, we're going to have to switch punishments, because this one makes me bleed! (points to chin)
(in living room again, holds up a bag of popcorn) 94 percent fat free popcorn, only two points on Weight Watchers for the entire bag, (holds up a bowl) mint chocolate chip ice cream, 13 points. I'm going to watch the mint chocolate chip melt while I eat my crappy popcorn. (eats popcorn while music plays) Thanks for giving me an alternative punishment, I'll see you tomorrow. (shows the melted bowl of ice cream)
No comments:
Post a Comment