June 21: Gotta Get Outside!

Good morning John, it's Thursday, June 21st. June 21st? That's the longest day of the year! The summer solstice! And to celebrate, I was gonna take you guys outside, out on the town in Missoula to enjoy the longest day in the year. But I forgot to charge my battery. (sighs) So, I am stuck to the house. With the wires. But I did get you a little change of scenery. This is the upstairs of my house.
I do really love the amazing summer days of Missoula. The average length of a day on planet Earth is 12 hours. We've defined it that way, but the further away from the equator you get, the bigger the extremes get, and we're pretty far away from the equator here. So right now, instead of 12 hours, the day is like 15, 16 hours long. It doesn't technically matter, because I spend 80% of my waking hours in a basement. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. And that I don't like going outside and feeling the warmth of the un on my skin. I need to get outside! Why did I forget to charge my camera battery?
Ho-ho-ho-ho! I have an idea. (moves camera into window. Dances around outside) I'm outside! Hey, my cat's coming to look at me. Psspsspsspss. (Cat is in front of camera) Umm, you actually make this a little bit difficult, Cameo. (cat moves) This is my side yard. Uh, I've always wanted to plant a vegetable garden inhere, but since I don't actually own my house I can't get permission to do it. (squishes face on screen) Wow, that probably looks pretty horrible. And I have sworn to myself that when I get my own house I will not have grass. I will only have vegetables. Carrots growin like weeds and beds of lettuce everywhere and tomato plants up the butt. Oh, ooohhh (shakes head). And you know, some flowers and stuff too. But mostly I want edible stuff. So it's like act-actually productive? Instead of grass which is just- seems really ridiculous to me. Plus, vegetables are often very very pretty plants.
So you ask me what I think you should do with all that grass? TEAR IT OUT OF THE GROUND! And then put down raised beds, all over the place, and then you water those, but that's OK, because vegetable have to be watered anyways. So it's either that they get watered at the farm, or they get watered at your house. It's the same amount of water for the same amount of vegetables. Plus, you save money and have something really cool to look after that's not a pet or a child. Which is good, because unlike pets or kids you can neglect it and no one will arrest you. Though the neighborhood association might give you a fine. So that is my suggestion. I very strongly suggest that you don't keep the grass. Because in Australia they only have 62 weeks of water left, and really it should be used for agriculture. Because we need to eat. We don't need green lawns. But that's just my opinion. Maybe somebody needs green lawns, but it's not the Green brothers. We don't need green lawns, we need green vegetables so we can grow up strong and big. And also not quite as big as most of America.
So this is my outdoor version of Brotherhood 2.0. Coming to an internet cafe in Indianapolis near you. John, I will see you tomorrow.