Good morning Hank, it's Friday, May 18th, the day that I leave for my trip to the Netherlands. The Yeti and I are going to the Netherlands to support my new novel, 19 Kier Katherine, which I'm sure I'm pronouncing extraordinarily well. I'm really excited about my trip to the Netherlands; I was supposed to go in March, but I got the orbital cellulitis so I couldn't, but now we are definitely going, unless I get orbital cellulitis again. Hank, this means that possibly I'll get to meet some brotherhood 2.0 viewers who live in the Netherlands, cross your fingers, maybe even Toobias! Too-bee-as..? Too-bye-as? Hmmm. I'm not very good at pronunciation. Speaking of pronunciation, Hank, it may seem like you pretty well schooled me on the pronunciation of wikipedia. I mean, you certainly have a lot of fact-based evidence to support your assertion that wikipedia is supposed to be pronounced wickypedia or whatever. I can't even pronounce it the way you pronounce it, my tongue doesn't make those movements. I may not have facts on my side, Hank, but I still think I'm right, that's the American way. And, really, what kind of evidence do you have? I mean, you have wikipedia, a known fraudulent source, and you have a girl robot voice saying wickypedia. Big deal. I can get a girl robot voice to say it my way. Sarah! Sarah?
The Yeti (off camera): Yeah?
Can you come in here? Can you say wikipedia in a robot voice? Come on, wikipedia in a robot voice.
The Yeti: Wikipedia.
In a robot voice!
The Yeti: Wi-ki-pedia.
See? Girl robot voice saying wikipedia. Checkmate. Speaking of wikipedia, I'm trying, I don't know if you know this but your wikipedia entry has been - oh, dammit - I don't know if you know this, but your wi-kee-pedia entry has been the subject of repeated acts of vandalism. Many people have changed your wikipedia entry to say, quote, "he is a gay". But one person went further than that, and said a lot of truly offensive things that I can't repeat on this vlog because of the sensitive ears of our younger listeners. I would, however, like to share with you a couple of quick sentences from the vandalism. Quote: "Both him and his brother John and gay" Period. Ummm, do you mean "both he and his brother John are gay"? Because if you're gonna vandalise wikipedia, you should do it with some reverence for the English language. The next sentence reads "John Greens wife is a trans" Period. There's no apostrophe in the Green's, by the way.
Commenter Misu, or My-zu, or Mitsu, I don't know how to pronounce anything, says "I don't care about how you actually go about making a fiction book proposal, all I care about is that you make the proposal using puppets." MisuMyzuMitsu, I can't necessarily make the proposal using puppets, but I can tell Hank about how to make a fiction book proposal using puppets.
Okay, Hank, today we have playing the role of my lovely editor, Julie Strauss-Gable: Mr. Argyle.
Julie Puppet: Hey, how are you guys? Good to see you again. Okay.
And playing the role of me, we have our old friend, Oobie.
John Puppet: Hey fellas. Okay, uhh, okay Julie. We're just gonna start out by talking a little bit about a fiction book proposal.
Julie Puppet: Umm, you're not doing a very good job of moving your hands right when you talk.
John Puppet: I know, I know, I'm not.. um, I'm not a puppeteer.
Julie Puppet: My husband is a puppeteer.
John Puppet: I know. But I couldn't get him on such short notice, because, um, we're going to the Netherlands. Can we just- Can we just get on with the thing?
Julie Puppet: Yeah yeah yeah, very rarely do you see a first novel sell on a proposal, they almost always have to have the finished manuscript.
John Puppet: Right. I finished the manuscript of Looking for Alaska.
Julie Puppet: Yeah, but then when it came time for you to create an Abundance of Katherines, I said why don't you send me a proposal? And you were like-
John Puppet: I don't know what a proposal is, I'm just a little Oobie!
Julie Puppet: Exactly. And I told you that a proposal is basic-
Sorry puppet fans, I'm gonna run out of time. Hank, basically all you need is a plot summary, a list of the characters and then sample chapters so they know what the book is actually about and is gonna sound like. Alright, I really gotta go to the airport, Hank. I'll see you on Monday.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo)
The Yeti: Did uhhh, you say happy birthday Katherine?
Happy birthday Katherine!
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