So Hank this morning the first thing I did was I got up and I went to look at YouTube, uh, and I was like, well that's weird, I don't usually see Hank's face on the front page of YouTube. That's a little- OH MY GOD WE GOT FEATURED! Good morning Hank, it's Thursday, July 25th. Hank you're getting so many comments that there's no way you can respond to all of them. So, uh, I'm going to do it for you. Until my four minute deadline I'm going to read and answer as many YouTube comments as I can. Hank, I know you're wondering, you're wondering how am I gonna know, John, if it's you or if it's a YouTuber when you're reading? The answer is that when it's a YouTuber I'm not going to have green hair, and when it's me I am going to have green hair.
(YouTuber) LOL what a sexy geek!
Actually he's a sexy nerd, but that's a common mistake.
(YouTuber) It's assio not akio. No it's ahkio not akio. No it's not, dumbass, it's ashio not akio. No it's ahkio, no it's akio, no it's oshkosh b'gosh!
OK, once and for all it's assio stop bothering him!
(YouTuber) You guys look like the Proclaimers.
Really? Did the Proclaimers have green hair?
(YouTuber) Who ever made this is a nerd.
Yes, that's the idea. We're nerds.
(YouTuber) Funny but could you look any dorkier?
Yes he could look dorkier. He could have spotty green hair.
(YouTuber) Why are dogs scared of vacuums but not of peanut butter faces?
That's a really good question. Maybe it's because vacuums are scary whereas peanut butter faces are made of awesome.
Nigeliscool657 writes: get a life, nerd.
Your screen name is Nigeliscool657, did 656 people before you have the screen name Nigeliscool? Furthermore to best of my knowledge no one in human history who is cool has ever had the screen name blank is cool ergo you are a Nerdfighter, sorry, live with it. It's a good thing.
(YouTuber) What's a Nerdfighter?
A Nerdfigher is like a regular person except instead of being composed out of, like, tissues and cells and organs, they're made out of awesome. Nerdfighters do stuff like hang out at the Brotherhood 2.0 forum, My Pants and uh, (image of pillow) embroider pillows. Hank look at those embroidered pillows! They even put my pants on them!
(YouTuber) This was so jokes. You have real skills.
Uh, this isn't really a response to that comment, but wouldn't it be great if instead of saying cool we always said jokes? Yeah, we just got featured on the front page of YouTube, it was pretty jokes. Man, the mountain goats are so jokes. Hey is it hot outside? No, it's pretty jokes.
(YouTuber) Umm, can you say obsession? Oh right, that's what you are. Cough cough. Get a life.
Uh, when you say cough cough get a life do you mean cough get a life cough? Because (coughs) get a life isn't funny, but (cough)get a life(cough) that's funny.
Pisstaker writes: Geek.
Your screen name is Pisstaker and you called Hank a geek? Um, I have a couple problems with the screen name Pisstaker. The big one is this: who isn't a piss taker? Like, how does being a piss taker set you apart from the crowd?
Kush45 writes: Got anything better to do? Like make some money? Get a job? Harry Potter doesn't care about you cuz he's not real.
Harry Potter isn't real? Oh no! Wait, wait, what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am I real if you can see me and hear me, but only through the internet? Are you real if I can read your comment but I don't know who you are or what your name is or where you're from or what you look like or how old you are? I know all of those things about Harry Potter. Maybe Harry Potter's real and you're not.
Rustyjusty123 asks: can I put your face on the MySpace?
I've heard a lot about the MySpace and I think it would be fine if you put Hank's picture on the MySpace.
(YouTuber) Wow, he's 27. He looks like my little brother. My little brother's ten.
He looks like my little brother too, and I think he's awesome!
So that's all the questions I can get through. Hank congratulations. I don't even know how to celebrate I'm so happy. I think I'm gonna put silly string in my hair and then do my happy dance. (sprays) The Yeti is going to be really mad when she gets home and sees the carpet! Happy dance time! (dances) YES! Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
Showing posts with label Awesome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awesome. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 9
Thursday, November 4
May 11th: Heroes
Good morning, John, it's Friday May 11th. (shots of Hank and Katherine zooming around on bikes) For our birthdays Mom and Dad got us new bikes! It's Katherine's birthday next week so she got one too. And now we have two really nice bikes so we can ride around town all the time. We can ride our bikes to the garden, and we won't have to use any fossil fuels or create any carbon.
They're really nice, too. Thanks Mom and Dad, and happy Mother's Day, mom! Do you know what I love? My mom. But also, I love questions about superheroes. Who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman? That one- that one's not very interesting. But there are lots of superhero questions that I like to answer. I especially like to think about what kind of super powers I would like to have if I could have super powers.
I mean, you can't really beat Superman for having super powers, unless you could travel in time. Though that could definitely get very confusing very quickly. I think that that would be probably the hardest super power to have. As you get more power, dealing with that power becomes more difficult. All superheroes deal with that. I think a time stopping man would have even more problems. Where do you draw the line? I mean, you could save everybody as long as you didn't age while you were saving people. You could save everybody in the world. Pretty much. And if you did age? Then you'd have to use your time very wisely, you'd have to save the maximum- yeah, that would be a hard power to have, but it would be the most power, I think, of any superhero. Unless you were Superman and you could travel in time. That would be more power. And you'd also have to make sure that you didn't accidentally negate your own existence while you were in the past.
I would probably not mess with the past if I was a time traveling superhero. You go back and you try and stop the Holocaust and suddenly you've disappeared. Put a needle in Hitler's eye when he's a baby. Would it be OK to kill baby Hitler? I mean, he's just a baby. This is why it would be so hard to be a time traveling super hero! I don't know. I'm interested in people's opinions on whether it would be OK to kill baby Hitler.
Now the reason I'm talking about this, John, is because one of the commenters asked me what I would do if I woke up in the morning and had Spiderman's powers. I mean, I gotta be honest, I would definitely start out the way that Peter Parker did in Spiderman 1 by taking off my shirt and flexing in the mirror. And then I would probably get Katherine, and flex at her. And then I would- might go downtown and flex at random people? I've never really had flex-able- flex-able? flex-ish? flexing. The capability of flexing really, and I think that I would enjoy that. Beyond that, um, I would probably move away from Missoula because Spiderman's powers in Missoula, Montana would be fairly useless. Swing from the seven story building to the six story building! And then, I could swing back! Over and over again. I think Spiderman in Missoula would be very bored, I think he would go hiking a lot. I think, actually, that the awesomeness of a superhero is dependent on the size of his city. Because if there's not a lot of people to save, what do you need a superhero for? A superhero in Missoula would be very part time. Like, you work at the Taco shop, and then be like, guys I gotta go I just been listening in on the police scanner and there's been an accident on Highway 22 and I have to travel back in time and use my Superman powers to stop it.
So yeah, if I was Spiderman, I would either keep it a secret and just flex a lot, or I would move to a big city and actually, uh, get something accomplished. Wow. I sure did spend that entire video talking about superheroes. (does salute) Hoo Hah, Nerdfighters! See you on Monday.
They're really nice, too. Thanks Mom and Dad, and happy Mother's Day, mom! Do you know what I love? My mom. But also, I love questions about superheroes. Who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman? That one- that one's not very interesting. But there are lots of superhero questions that I like to answer. I especially like to think about what kind of super powers I would like to have if I could have super powers.
I mean, you can't really beat Superman for having super powers, unless you could travel in time. Though that could definitely get very confusing very quickly. I think that that would be probably the hardest super power to have. As you get more power, dealing with that power becomes more difficult. All superheroes deal with that. I think a time stopping man would have even more problems. Where do you draw the line? I mean, you could save everybody as long as you didn't age while you were saving people. You could save everybody in the world. Pretty much. And if you did age? Then you'd have to use your time very wisely, you'd have to save the maximum- yeah, that would be a hard power to have, but it would be the most power, I think, of any superhero. Unless you were Superman and you could travel in time. That would be more power. And you'd also have to make sure that you didn't accidentally negate your own existence while you were in the past.
I would probably not mess with the past if I was a time traveling superhero. You go back and you try and stop the Holocaust and suddenly you've disappeared. Put a needle in Hitler's eye when he's a baby. Would it be OK to kill baby Hitler? I mean, he's just a baby. This is why it would be so hard to be a time traveling super hero! I don't know. I'm interested in people's opinions on whether it would be OK to kill baby Hitler.
Now the reason I'm talking about this, John, is because one of the commenters asked me what I would do if I woke up in the morning and had Spiderman's powers. I mean, I gotta be honest, I would definitely start out the way that Peter Parker did in Spiderman 1 by taking off my shirt and flexing in the mirror. And then I would probably get Katherine, and flex at her. And then I would- might go downtown and flex at random people? I've never really had flex-able- flex-able? flex-ish? flexing. The capability of flexing really, and I think that I would enjoy that. Beyond that, um, I would probably move away from Missoula because Spiderman's powers in Missoula, Montana would be fairly useless. Swing from the seven story building to the six story building! And then, I could swing back! Over and over again. I think Spiderman in Missoula would be very bored, I think he would go hiking a lot. I think, actually, that the awesomeness of a superhero is dependent on the size of his city. Because if there's not a lot of people to save, what do you need a superhero for? A superhero in Missoula would be very part time. Like, you work at the Taco shop, and then be like, guys I gotta go I just been listening in on the police scanner and there's been an accident on Highway 22 and I have to travel back in time and use my Superman powers to stop it.
So yeah, if I was Spiderman, I would either keep it a secret and just flex a lot, or I would move to a big city and actually, uh, get something accomplished. Wow. I sure did spend that entire video talking about superheroes. (does salute) Hoo Hah, Nerdfighters! See you on Monday.
Wednesday, November 3
May 7th: Birthday Extravaganza
(in a go-kart) Good morning John, it's Monday, May 9th.
(basement) 7th, not 9th. 26 was a good age. I liked it. Lots and lots of good things happened. The last day of being 26 was a great day.
I woke up, came downstairs and watched about a hundred nerdfighters give me the best birthday greeting I have ever had. And then about halfway through the day my people got a call from John Kerry's people. And when I say my people got a call, I mean one of his assistants sent me an e-mail asking if I would like to interview him. Yes I- I would like to interview John Kerry!
So that was a nice birthday present. And then, Katherine took me to see Spiderman 3.
Which was really bad. I mean generally I like any movie that's loud enough that I can fart during and no one will hear it, but I like at least a little bit of depth. I feel like they just shaved everything off the top and decided well, pssh, what do we need a writer for? We'll just pay 300 million dollars for special effects and everyone will go see it. Ya know, they were right. But that doesn't mean that's what they should do. But what's important is that we got a call before the movie started. And it was you, John, calling to tell us Neil Gaiman had posted a link to brotherhood2.com on his blog.
HOO HA!
There's not much better than having someone who you're a big fan of be a fan of something you're doing. That just feels good. Thanks Neil. And then, we came home and read Brotherhood2.0 comments. (holds up box) and ate mini corn dogs. My girl knows how to make me happy.
Additionally from Katherine I recieved: (holds up each item) Mountain Dew, Pop-Tarts, and chocolate bars. This one has baby rhinoceros chunks in it!
And from people besides Katherine: A Jet Back Cowboy Bee-bop action figure from my dad. From Brian, Jim Beam Black. From Melissa, an anatomical gummy heart. And from Kelly, this amazing nerdfighter shirt (shows T-shirt with nerds united against jock). The Nerdfighters united! YOU'RE IN TROUBLE NOW!
I'm gonna do it. I'm just- ya know, I might as well do it on camera. (opens and eats gummy heart) At least it tastes good.
So you wouldn't think that my actual birthday could be much better than my day before my birthday would you? And really, it wasn't because I didn't wake up to the amazingness that was the Secret Project. But, I did have a bloody fantastic time. It was also my friend's Jeff Lavoy's 30th birthday, so we had a combined birthday extravaganza in three parts.
First Part: Amazing Mexican Food at Heraldo's.
Second Part: Qwivals Family Fun Center! (clips of time spent) I mean, really, you can't get much cooler than this. I got to spin the birthday wheel, and I won a cookie, there was a ridiculously amazing inflatable obstacle coarse, which I totally kicked everybody's ass at. Probably the awesomest part of Qwivel's is the go-kart racing. Which we did a lot, and pretty much all day. There was also miniature golf, which Katherine destroyed everyone at. Polishing off her victory with a final hole-in-one.
And there was laser tag, which I didn't record any of, because it was dark and I was afraid of breaking my camera. (shows image of dragon from park) Look how happy that dragon is!
Part 3! Drinking...a lot. At bars. In Missoula. Surrounded with guys with sombreros on, because it's always like that on my birthday. What are you gonna do?
Thank you everyone for making my birthday so amazing. I loved all of my birthday messages from everyone around the world. I don't think anyone ever in the history of the world has had comparable birthday experience to the one I just had. Certainly, no one has eaten half of an anatomical gummy heart, washed it down with some Mountain Dew, and then said thank you to a hundred people that he's never met for wishing him such a wonderful happy birthday. And their wishes for my happy birthday somehow became manifested in reality and I had one of the happiest birthdays of my life. Thank you all so very much. John, I will see you tomorrow.
(basement) 7th, not 9th. 26 was a good age. I liked it. Lots and lots of good things happened. The last day of being 26 was a great day.
I woke up, came downstairs and watched about a hundred nerdfighters give me the best birthday greeting I have ever had. And then about halfway through the day my people got a call from John Kerry's people. And when I say my people got a call, I mean one of his assistants sent me an e-mail asking if I would like to interview him. Yes I- I would like to interview John Kerry!
So that was a nice birthday present. And then, Katherine took me to see Spiderman 3.
Which was really bad. I mean generally I like any movie that's loud enough that I can fart during and no one will hear it, but I like at least a little bit of depth. I feel like they just shaved everything off the top and decided well, pssh, what do we need a writer for? We'll just pay 300 million dollars for special effects and everyone will go see it. Ya know, they were right. But that doesn't mean that's what they should do. But what's important is that we got a call before the movie started. And it was you, John, calling to tell us Neil Gaiman had posted a link to brotherhood2.com on his blog.
HOO HA!
There's not much better than having someone who you're a big fan of be a fan of something you're doing. That just feels good. Thanks Neil. And then, we came home and read Brotherhood2.0 comments. (holds up box) and ate mini corn dogs. My girl knows how to make me happy.
Additionally from Katherine I recieved: (holds up each item) Mountain Dew, Pop-Tarts, and chocolate bars. This one has baby rhinoceros chunks in it!
And from people besides Katherine: A Jet Back Cowboy Bee-bop action figure from my dad. From Brian, Jim Beam Black. From Melissa, an anatomical gummy heart. And from Kelly, this amazing nerdfighter shirt (shows T-shirt with nerds united against jock). The Nerdfighters united! YOU'RE IN TROUBLE NOW!
I'm gonna do it. I'm just- ya know, I might as well do it on camera. (opens and eats gummy heart) At least it tastes good.
So you wouldn't think that my actual birthday could be much better than my day before my birthday would you? And really, it wasn't because I didn't wake up to the amazingness that was the Secret Project. But, I did have a bloody fantastic time. It was also my friend's Jeff Lavoy's 30th birthday, so we had a combined birthday extravaganza in three parts.
First Part: Amazing Mexican Food at Heraldo's.
Second Part: Qwivals Family Fun Center! (clips of time spent) I mean, really, you can't get much cooler than this. I got to spin the birthday wheel, and I won a cookie, there was a ridiculously amazing inflatable obstacle coarse, which I totally kicked everybody's ass at. Probably the awesomest part of Qwivel's is the go-kart racing. Which we did a lot, and pretty much all day. There was also miniature golf, which Katherine destroyed everyone at. Polishing off her victory with a final hole-in-one.
And there was laser tag, which I didn't record any of, because it was dark and I was afraid of breaking my camera. (shows image of dragon from park) Look how happy that dragon is!
Part 3! Drinking...a lot. At bars. In Missoula. Surrounded with guys with sombreros on, because it's always like that on my birthday. What are you gonna do?
Thank you everyone for making my birthday so amazing. I loved all of my birthday messages from everyone around the world. I don't think anyone ever in the history of the world has had comparable birthday experience to the one I just had. Certainly, no one has eaten half of an anatomical gummy heart, washed it down with some Mountain Dew, and then said thank you to a hundred people that he's never met for wishing him such a wonderful happy birthday. And their wishes for my happy birthday somehow became manifested in reality and I had one of the happiest birthdays of my life. Thank you all so very much. John, I will see you tomorrow.
Brotherhood 2.0: April 30: Hellos from Los Angeles
Good morning Hank, it's Monday, April 30th. A lot of people wanted to say hi to you this weekend, so I let em.
Tobin Anderson: Hey there Hank, umm, this time I'm not hanging from a fire escape being chased by police, so this is really an improvement.
Cecil Castellucci: Hi Hank, how are you?
John: Say Hi, Coe.
Coe Booth: Hi Coe
Sonya Sones: Good morning Hank
Dana Reinhardt: Good morning Hank
Julie Strauss-Gabel: Hi Hank!
T. Cooper: Good morning Hank (eats fruit)
Now that my editor and a bunch of other authors have said hello to you, I have a surprise.
Francesca: Good morning Hank, and good morning Kelly, this is Francesca, hi. Have a really good day.
Hank, that was Francesca Lia Block, the author of Weetzie Bat, a book I know you like, and I know I like, and I also know that Brotherhood2.0 viewer Kelly likes. Speaking of Francesca Lia Block, Judy Blume might have just been knocked out of my Guilt Free Three. And now for our final introduction:
Coe: Rootsy Hank, I think you're really cute, and I know you're married already, but-
Hank, as you mentioned in your video last week, it was totally massively illegal for me to try to record the Los Angeles Times Book Prizes on video, so I had to do it really surreptitiously, and as you can see I did a really wonderful job with the camera work (shot of ceiling) I don't like to brag, but if they give out a Los Angeles Times Book Prize for the best bootleg recording of the Los Angeles Times Book Prizes, I am definitely going to win.
(more footage) So first Jackie Woodson, the presenter, introduced each of the five finalists: The Rules of Survival, Tyrell, The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, An Abundance of Katherines, and Just in Case. And then came the moment we'd all been waiting for, and by we I mean the thirty people in the audience who care about Young Adult literature.
(in footage)
announcer: Coe Booth.
John: Yaaaay!
Coe: It is my hope that it will fall into the hands of those kids who really do not see themselves represented in literature often.
(back in bed) And my hope also. Congratulations, Coe.
Moving on. Hank, I have a challenge for you. The Yeti and I have both been singing the Helen Hunt song pretty much non stop for the last five days. I wanna give you a brief sense of what it's like to be at our house right now:
(shot of home) aren't you nervous about trying to find a house?
The Yeti: God, so nervous.
John: (sigh, sings) Helen Hunt Helen Hunt
(in bed) Anyway Hank we sing the song constantly. We can't get it out of our heads. The only problem is that we can't quite sing it in key because it seems to have been written in the key of awesome. And so Hank, that brings me to my challenge. I would like to challenge you to make more songs! Lots more! But what I need right now is for you to write a song that will replace the Helen Hunt song because it's starting to burn a hole in my head.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh hey, Hank, by the way, you know what's funnier than dogs in New York? (shot of dog in sundress) That's right. Dogs in Los Angeles. Look at it, Hank! It's a chihuahua that seems to be married to a 19th century plantation owner!
Tobin Anderson: Hey there Hank, umm, this time I'm not hanging from a fire escape being chased by police, so this is really an improvement.
Cecil Castellucci: Hi Hank, how are you?
John: Say Hi, Coe.
Coe Booth: Hi Coe
Sonya Sones: Good morning Hank
Dana Reinhardt: Good morning Hank
Julie Strauss-Gabel: Hi Hank!
T. Cooper: Good morning Hank (eats fruit)
Now that my editor and a bunch of other authors have said hello to you, I have a surprise.
Francesca: Good morning Hank, and good morning Kelly, this is Francesca, hi. Have a really good day.
Hank, that was Francesca Lia Block, the author of Weetzie Bat, a book I know you like, and I know I like, and I also know that Brotherhood2.0 viewer Kelly likes. Speaking of Francesca Lia Block, Judy Blume might have just been knocked out of my Guilt Free Three. And now for our final introduction:
Coe: Rootsy Hank, I think you're really cute, and I know you're married already, but-
Hank, as you mentioned in your video last week, it was totally massively illegal for me to try to record the Los Angeles Times Book Prizes on video, so I had to do it really surreptitiously, and as you can see I did a really wonderful job with the camera work (shot of ceiling) I don't like to brag, but if they give out a Los Angeles Times Book Prize for the best bootleg recording of the Los Angeles Times Book Prizes, I am definitely going to win.
(more footage) So first Jackie Woodson, the presenter, introduced each of the five finalists: The Rules of Survival, Tyrell, The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing, An Abundance of Katherines, and Just in Case. And then came the moment we'd all been waiting for, and by we I mean the thirty people in the audience who care about Young Adult literature.
(in footage)
announcer: Coe Booth.
John: Yaaaay!
Coe: It is my hope that it will fall into the hands of those kids who really do not see themselves represented in literature often.
(back in bed) And my hope also. Congratulations, Coe.
Moving on. Hank, I have a challenge for you. The Yeti and I have both been singing the Helen Hunt song pretty much non stop for the last five days. I wanna give you a brief sense of what it's like to be at our house right now:
(shot of home) aren't you nervous about trying to find a house?
The Yeti: God, so nervous.
John: (sigh, sings) Helen Hunt Helen Hunt
(in bed) Anyway Hank we sing the song constantly. We can't get it out of our heads. The only problem is that we can't quite sing it in key because it seems to have been written in the key of awesome. And so Hank, that brings me to my challenge. I would like to challenge you to make more songs! Lots more! But what I need right now is for you to write a song that will replace the Helen Hunt song because it's starting to burn a hole in my head.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh hey, Hank, by the way, you know what's funnier than dogs in New York? (shot of dog in sundress) That's right. Dogs in Los Angeles. Look at it, Hank! It's a chihuahua that seems to be married to a 19th century plantation owner!
Brotherhood 2.0: April 16: Brotherhood of the Traveling Shirts
Good morning Hank, it's Monday April 16th. Friendly brotherly reminder: your taxes are due tomorrow. Hank, unfortunately I wasn't able to attend any of the Step It Up rallies and I'll tell you why. Instead of protesting carbon consumption, I was myself consuming carbon on a series of airplanes trying to get from San Antonio, Texas to New York City. I eventually got home but unfortunately by then all the Step It Up rallies were finished. I did, however, make a poster: (Shows poster, which says, handwritten on a piece of letter paper: STEP IT UP, CONGRESS! AND ALSO, STEP IT UP, SELF!)
I'm not very good at posters. Hank, just in case you can't read my scribbled handwriting, my poster says, "Step it up, Congress! And also, step it up, self!" Because I feel like I'm also not doing enough in the fight against climate change. And that's why, Hank, you may notice that today the video is a little darker than it usually is: it's because, for the next week, I'm not going to be using any kind of electricity that I don't absolutely have to use. The refrigerator is going to continue to run, my computer is going to continue to run when I need to use it, but I'm not going to use lights unless they are necessary as reading lights in the evening, and I'm not going to watch TV. Except for a couple of really important soccer games.
I'm also going to minimise my use of hot water, which is extremely difficult because, as you know, I like to take baths. Hank, throughout the week I'm going to be doing things to further reduce my carbon emissions, let me know if you have any ideas. Oh, and by the way, I loved your EcoGeek podcast, and look forward to more of them. -o be careful not to cut off the beginning of your sentences.
Guess what I got this weekend at the Texas Library Association convention? (Slowly reveals t-shirt saying NERD FIGHTER) Ooooh yeah! How awesome is this shirt, Hank? It's so awesome that when I looked on the Haines tag in the back it said that it's made out of 80% cotton, 10% polyester and 10% awesome. Thanks to Laura, pictured here, delivering the shirt.
Hank, unfortunately there's only one "Nerdfighter" shirt and I don't want you to be deprived of its awesomeness. So I'm going to propose a custody-sharing arrangement. I'm gonna send you the shirt now, and then maybe you can send it back to me around June or something and then I'll send it back to you, and you'll send it back to... It's kinda like the "Brotherhood of the Travelling Shirt".
After all Hank, what is brotherhood, if not sharing clothes? Remember, we always used to share clothes growing up. Remember that sailor suit that Mom made us? That was cool. That was really cool. Man, no wonder we were nerds.
And finally, Hank, I know this isn't necessarily a political video blog, but there is some Very Exciting Political News going on right now and I can't help but share it with you: Our resident mathematician, Daniel Biss, is running for state representative in the state of Illinois! We're gonna have a resident state representative! He'll be able to pass legislation that's helpful to brothers, and nerds, and Peeps, and video blogs.
His two most important issues? Raising the amount of funding we spend on education in Illinois, which is the 49th state in terms of education - Thank God for Mississippi! - and also cutting carbon emissions. Speaking of carbon emissions, I should shut off this video camera. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and P.S.: To make this sign? I used recycled paper. This is a page from my book, Hank, which I'm just beginning to seriously revise. That process is going to take several months. So expect me to become kind of moody until, say, September.
I'm not very good at posters. Hank, just in case you can't read my scribbled handwriting, my poster says, "Step it up, Congress! And also, step it up, self!" Because I feel like I'm also not doing enough in the fight against climate change. And that's why, Hank, you may notice that today the video is a little darker than it usually is: it's because, for the next week, I'm not going to be using any kind of electricity that I don't absolutely have to use. The refrigerator is going to continue to run, my computer is going to continue to run when I need to use it, but I'm not going to use lights unless they are necessary as reading lights in the evening, and I'm not going to watch TV. Except for a couple of really important soccer games.
I'm also going to minimise my use of hot water, which is extremely difficult because, as you know, I like to take baths. Hank, throughout the week I'm going to be doing things to further reduce my carbon emissions, let me know if you have any ideas. Oh, and by the way, I loved your EcoGeek podcast, and look forward to more of them. -o be careful not to cut off the beginning of your sentences.
Guess what I got this weekend at the Texas Library Association convention? (Slowly reveals t-shirt saying NERD FIGHTER) Ooooh yeah! How awesome is this shirt, Hank? It's so awesome that when I looked on the Haines tag in the back it said that it's made out of 80% cotton, 10% polyester and 10% awesome. Thanks to Laura, pictured here, delivering the shirt.
Hank, unfortunately there's only one "Nerdfighter" shirt and I don't want you to be deprived of its awesomeness. So I'm going to propose a custody-sharing arrangement. I'm gonna send you the shirt now, and then maybe you can send it back to me around June or something and then I'll send it back to you, and you'll send it back to... It's kinda like the "Brotherhood of the Travelling Shirt".
After all Hank, what is brotherhood, if not sharing clothes? Remember, we always used to share clothes growing up. Remember that sailor suit that Mom made us? That was cool. That was really cool. Man, no wonder we were nerds.
And finally, Hank, I know this isn't necessarily a political video blog, but there is some Very Exciting Political News going on right now and I can't help but share it with you: Our resident mathematician, Daniel Biss, is running for state representative in the state of Illinois! We're gonna have a resident state representative! He'll be able to pass legislation that's helpful to brothers, and nerds, and Peeps, and video blogs.
His two most important issues? Raising the amount of funding we spend on education in Illinois, which is the 49th state in terms of education - Thank God for Mississippi! - and also cutting carbon emissions. Speaking of carbon emissions, I should shut off this video camera. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and P.S.: To make this sign? I used recycled paper. This is a page from my book, Hank, which I'm just beginning to seriously revise. That process is going to take several months. So expect me to become kind of moody until, say, September.
Tuesday, November 2
March 26th: Thanks
(John in a hospital bed; his left eye is barely open) Good morning, Hank. It’s Tuesday, March 27th. I’m coming to you from NYU Medical Center where I’ll be for at least one more day. Sarah was like, “Make sure they know you’re sick!” (holds up arm to reveal hospital bracelet and IV tube) I’m sick; that’s my IV port. But I’m doing okay, and I’m doing a lot better since I watched your video. Man, did that make my week.
You know, I’ve said thank you about thirty-five thousand times in the last few days. You say thank you every time the, uh, the woman comes in and gives you a new IV; you say thank you when they bring you your food. You say thank you when the yeti, uh, shows up. (the yeti’s hand caresses his face; he smiles and looks at her; she laughs) I like the yeti. You say thank you when the yeti spends twelve hours a day here. You say thank you every minute of every day, basically, because you’re helpless and you need a lot of help and you’re grateful for that help.
Uh, but it’s a very different thank you when you’re saying thank you to someone for going way above and beyond the call of duty. He said doodie! And, uh, that’s what you guys did. Um, Hank, you in particular, but also all of the viewers to send in those pictures of stuff on their head. And for me to be able to learn the exciting spoiler that Ron Weasley is going to die via suffication in a plastic bag in The Deathly Hallows, to learn all of the wonderful things that one can put on one’s head, from an ironing board to a large, knee-length boot. I don’t know what else to say except (does Nerd Fighter sign). Thanks, Nerd Fighters. You guys are made of awesome.
Anyway, Hank, the word on the street is that I should be getting out fairly soon, either tomorrow or Thursday, provided things continue to move along as they’ve been moving along. If you look at it’s way better. (close-up of face; left eye is pretty red) Hmm? Look how much…look how much more white there is! You’re looking up my nose, aren’t you? You are. Dammit.
Hopefully I will see you tomorrow here, but you will see me on Thursday at 88th Street.
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Thanks again.
You know, I’ve said thank you about thirty-five thousand times in the last few days. You say thank you every time the, uh, the woman comes in and gives you a new IV; you say thank you when they bring you your food. You say thank you when the yeti, uh, shows up. (the yeti’s hand caresses his face; he smiles and looks at her; she laughs) I like the yeti. You say thank you when the yeti spends twelve hours a day here. You say thank you every minute of every day, basically, because you’re helpless and you need a lot of help and you’re grateful for that help.
Uh, but it’s a very different thank you when you’re saying thank you to someone for going way above and beyond the call of duty. He said doodie! And, uh, that’s what you guys did. Um, Hank, you in particular, but also all of the viewers to send in those pictures of stuff on their head. And for me to be able to learn the exciting spoiler that Ron Weasley is going to die via suffication in a plastic bag in The Deathly Hallows, to learn all of the wonderful things that one can put on one’s head, from an ironing board to a large, knee-length boot. I don’t know what else to say except (does Nerd Fighter sign). Thanks, Nerd Fighters. You guys are made of awesome.
Anyway, Hank, the word on the street is that I should be getting out fairly soon, either tomorrow or Thursday, provided things continue to move along as they’ve been moving along. If you look at it’s way better. (close-up of face; left eye is pretty red) Hmm? Look how much…look how much more white there is! You’re looking up my nose, aren’t you? You are. Dammit.
Hopefully I will see you tomorrow here, but you will see me on Thursday at 88th Street.
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Thanks again.
Brotherhood 2.0: March 15, 2007: Decreasing Suck
Class: good morning Hank, it's Thursday.
Hank, I just got to my hotel room in Kalamazoo, Michigan. And you know what was waiting for me here? Strawberry hill, peeps, and nerds. Thanks, Kalamazoo.
And all evening long I've been thinking to myself: What is it that America wants to see me do with Nerds, Peeps and a bottle of strawberry hill? And then I realized: what America wants to know is whether or not a peep will float in a glass of strawberry hill.
Will it float? It floats! Look! It's a little ducky on a pink pond.
So there you have it, Hank. Peeps float in strawberry hill! "But wait", you say, "do nerds?" Hank, as you can see, I have a lot of grape nerds. And now, we're going to test them.
hmm... That looks delicious. Well Hank, the answer is that nerds do not float. Except for the lone nerd that attached itself to the peep. Smart nerd.
Hank, many people say that brotherhood 2.0 is not educational. But I would argue that it is educational. Because now we've all learned an important lesson, which is that if you find yourself in the open ocean, with 1000 peeps and 1000 nerds, you should cling to the peeps and let the nerds go. In profoundly disturbing news, it seems like strawberry hill turns purple nerds white. Let that be a lesson to all of you. If strawberry hill can strip purple nerds from their color, just think what it can do to a gastro-intestinal system.
(sings) S-s-something from the comments... we're gonna miss you Ze.
Peter writes: "what if your effort to decrease suck-levels actually makes suck-levels increase? What is the contingency plan? We need an exit strategy here!" Hank, just like Peter I'm profoundly concerned that we might accidently increase suck levels. If you think about it most of the suckiest things that ever happened started with an attempt to decrease suck levels. Like, for instance, you have to say that on the whole the steam engine has been a pretty good thing, but then on the other hand it sure was warm yesterday in Colorado. But here's the thing I'm thinking: the worst thing you can possibly do is not try to decrease suck levels. After all, that's what the first Brotherhood 2.0 Book Club book was about.
Hank, I just got to my hotel room in Kalamazoo, Michigan. And you know what was waiting for me here? Strawberry hill, peeps, and nerds. Thanks, Kalamazoo.
And all evening long I've been thinking to myself: What is it that America wants to see me do with Nerds, Peeps and a bottle of strawberry hill? And then I realized: what America wants to know is whether or not a peep will float in a glass of strawberry hill.
Will it float? It floats! Look! It's a little ducky on a pink pond.
So there you have it, Hank. Peeps float in strawberry hill! "But wait", you say, "do nerds?" Hank, as you can see, I have a lot of grape nerds. And now, we're going to test them.
hmm... That looks delicious. Well Hank, the answer is that nerds do not float. Except for the lone nerd that attached itself to the peep. Smart nerd.
Hank, many people say that brotherhood 2.0 is not educational. But I would argue that it is educational. Because now we've all learned an important lesson, which is that if you find yourself in the open ocean, with 1000 peeps and 1000 nerds, you should cling to the peeps and let the nerds go. In profoundly disturbing news, it seems like strawberry hill turns purple nerds white. Let that be a lesson to all of you. If strawberry hill can strip purple nerds from their color, just think what it can do to a gastro-intestinal system.
(sings) S-s-something from the comments... we're gonna miss you Ze.
Peter writes: "what if your effort to decrease suck-levels actually makes suck-levels increase? What is the contingency plan? We need an exit strategy here!" Hank, just like Peter I'm profoundly concerned that we might accidently increase suck levels. If you think about it most of the suckiest things that ever happened started with an attempt to decrease suck levels. Like, for instance, you have to say that on the whole the steam engine has been a pretty good thing, but then on the other hand it sure was warm yesterday in Colorado. But here's the thing I'm thinking: the worst thing you can possibly do is not try to decrease suck levels. After all, that's what the first Brotherhood 2.0 Book Club book was about.
In our lifetimes we're all gonna do things that accidently increase suck levels, but the true Nerdfighter is awesome enough to say "you know what? I've made a mistake, I increased suck levels worldwide, but I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, and I think we should change course so as to decrease suck levels in the future." Hank, that's why I'm greatful that so many people in the American government are true and awesome Nerdfighters. Oh, wait. Crap! I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo)
(sings) Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear.... I'm gonna let Hank finish the song.
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