Brotherhood 2.0: Harry and the Potters are Nerdfighters!

(sit up) Good morning Hank. (sit up) It's Wednesday. (sit up) I'm getting my abs in shape (sit up) for my punishment. Also, welcome to my basement. What do you think? 

Hank, the light in the basement isn't very good. Let's go outside. Is it bad that my abs kind of hurt after those four sit-ups? Ok, Hank, I have to make this video super fast because I gotta go out tonight, and also I have to get back to revising my new book.
By the way, Hank, I have decided that my new book is definitely going to be called Paper Towns unless I change my mind again. Do you like that title? I mean, I know it's not super commercial, but it is the perfect title for the actual book.
It's interesting that my puff levels generally are not very high, but then the puff level just right here in this area is extraordinarily high. (pets head) Puff. Puff. Puff.
Hank, I do have a small piece of bad news regarding my punishment: I seem to have thrown away all of my academic decathlon medals. 

(pictures) Hank, I know what you're wondering- you're wondering, 'Is that really Harry and the Potters doing the Nerdfighter hand thing? Hank, it is! That's some Nerdfighters with Harry and the Potters! Yay Harry and the Potters! They're like the number one Harry Potter band in the world!
Commenter Margaret said something about how my academic decathlon medals prove that I'm smart, but I'm afraid that that's not actually the case. The way academic decathlon works is that there are three tiers of students. You've got your A students, your B students and your C students. A students have GPAs of 3.75 and above, B students have GPAs above 3.0 and then C students have GPAs below 2.99. Basically, what those medals mean is that I was the third best C student in the state of Alabama, which is not quite the same thing as being smart.
Hey Hank, I'm wondering if we can add just one more thing to the punishment: the commenters in My Pants have been crazy about the idea that we're going to dye our hair green. I think that's a great idea, except that most green hair dyes last for about eight weeks, which is a little long if you're about to turn thirty years old. I mean, if I was twenty-six, twenty-seven, eight weeks of green hair, no problem. But when you're thirty, it just seems kinda sad. Fortunately there's that awesome spray-on green hair, pictured here. So Hank, here's my idea- you spray paint this part, the mohawk part, and then I'll spray paint all of these parts, the parts that aren't mohawk-y, and then between the two of us, we'll have a whole head of green hair.
Hank, I hope it's a nice day in Missoula. It's certainly beautiful here in Indianapolis. I'm going to go and enjoy the day now. I'll see you tomorrow.

Brotherhood 2.0: April 16: Brotherhood of the Traveling Shirts

Good morning Hank, it's Monday April 16th. Friendly brotherly reminder: your taxes are due tomorrow. Hank, unfortunately I wasn't able to attend any of the Step It Up rallies and I'll tell you why. Instead of protesting carbon consumption, I was myself consuming carbon on a series of airplanes trying to get from San Antonio, Texas to New York City. I eventually got home but unfortunately by then all the Step It Up rallies were finished. I did, however, make a poster: (Shows poster, which says, handwritten on a piece of letter paper: STEP IT UP, CONGRESS! AND ALSO, STEP IT UP, SELF!)
I'm not very good at posters. Hank, just in case you can't read my scribbled handwriting, my poster says, "Step it up, Congress! And also, step it up, self!" Because I feel like I'm also not doing enough in the fight against climate change. And that's why, Hank, you may notice that today the video is a little darker than it usually is: it's because, for the next week, I'm not going to be using any kind of electricity that I don't absolutely have to use. The refrigerator is going to continue to run, my computer is going to continue to run when I need to use it, but I'm not going to use lights unless they are necessary as reading lights in the evening, and I'm not going to watch TV. Except for a couple of really important soccer games.
I'm also going to minimise my use of hot water, which is extremely difficult because, as you know, I like to take baths. Hank, throughout the week I'm going to be doing things to further reduce my carbon emissions, let me know if you have any ideas. Oh, and by the way, I loved your EcoGeek podcast, and look forward to more of them. -o be careful not to cut off the beginning of your sentences.
Guess what I got this weekend at the Texas Library Association convention? (Slowly reveals t-shirt saying NERD FIGHTER) Ooooh yeah! How awesome is this shirt, Hank? It's so awesome that when I looked on the Haines tag in the back it said that it's made out of 80% cotton, 10% polyester and 10% awesome. Thanks to Laura, pictured here, delivering the shirt.
Hank, unfortunately there's only one "Nerdfighter" shirt and I don't want you to be deprived of its awesomeness. So I'm going to propose a custody-sharing arrangement. I'm gonna send you the shirt now, and then maybe you can send it back to me around June or something and then I'll send it back to you, and you'll send it back to... It's kinda like the "Brotherhood of the Travelling Shirt".
After all Hank, what is brotherhood, if not sharing clothes? Remember, we always used to share clothes growing up. Remember that sailor suit that Mom made us? That was cool. That was really cool. Man, no wonder we were nerds.
And finally, Hank, I know this isn't necessarily a political video blog, but there is some Very Exciting Political News going on right now and I can't help but share it with you: Our resident mathematician, Daniel Biss, is running for state representative in the state of Illinois! We're gonna have a resident state representative! He'll be able to pass legislation that's helpful to brothers, and nerds, and Peeps, and video blogs.
His two most important issues? Raising the amount of funding we spend on education in Illinois, which is the 49th state in terms of education - Thank God for Mississippi! - and also cutting carbon emissions. Speaking of carbon emissions, I should shut off this video camera. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and P.S.: To make this sign? I used recycled paper. This is a page from my book, Hank, which I'm just beginning to seriously revise. That process is going to take several months. So expect me to become kind of moody until, say, September.

March 22nd: Book Club and Business Cards

(Hank has a box made of misprinted EcoGeek business cards on his head) Good morning, John. It’s Thursday, March 22nd. I just mixed a Misprinted Business Card Utilization idea with putting stuff on my head. Now all I have to do is put a misprinted business card in my pants and then put my pants on my head. Hmmm? (holds up box; puts box in pants; puts pants on head) So, I haven’t figured out what I’m gonna talk about today. Well, first I have to show you how I made this misprinted business card utilization idea. And second, I think I’m going to talk about my new edition to the Brotherhood 2.0 Book Club. (pants slide off head; shakes head)
A very long time ago a commenter suggested that I make a cube out of my misprinted business cards. And I thought he was kind of crazy. But then I realized all I needed was a little magic. (waves fingers in midair; business cards fly up and form into a perfect box) Okay, actually he sent me to a tutorial. You need six business cards. You actually will eventually need twelve, but start with six. They all have to be the exact same size, which is fine for me because all of mine are the same size.
Then, you take one and you bend it over the other (demonstrates). You end up with these little cups. You have to combine them using a lot of manual dexterity. Put them together (builds box) This is half the cube…this is when it starts to get really hard. Get this on camera because you have to hold everything while you’re doing it. one more piece and the cube will be done. Voila! Suddenly a surprisingly sturdy cube. Now, this is kind of ugly. What the tutorial advises is that you use these flappy things, here and here, and you use other little cups that you’ve made, and you slide them into your flappy things like so (demonstrates). Your face becomes a flat, pretty face instead of these tabby, ugly faces. So, now you just do that six times, and you’ve got this! (complete box) This is a beautiful little EcoGeek cube, that I’ve used now in my intros to my EcoGeek videos, which you will soon be able to see on ecogeek.org.
Now, everyone knows that I had to read We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with our Families. You didn’t have to read anything because the book I made you read was your book that you were writing because you needed to finish your book because you were past your deadline. Plus, all the people who watch Brotherhood 2.0 are John Green fans, and I think they would all hate me if I stood between you and finishing your book. So I’ve decided that you should read (holds the book up) World Changing: A User’s Guide to the 21st Century. Yes, it is this big. Yes, I am kidding. I considered having you read The God Delusion, but I think maybe that would be a little too inflammatory. So, instead, I’m asking you to read Bill McKibben’s new book, Deep Economy. Because I run EcoGeek, I’m getting a free copy of Deep Economy, and I’ll be reading it too because I’m probably going to be interviewing the author for my website. And it’d be good to know what the book's about first, and I’d like to talk about it with you before the interview, if possible, before the interview.
(with a tan purse on his head) Thank you to everyone who has taken my plea to put stuff on your heads so seriously. I really do believe that this is, at least in part, an opportunity to decrease WorldSuck. (turns head sideways) I look like a Trojan! (raises arm, pretending to carry a spear, trumpets) Doo-doo-doo-doo!
I hope you all won’t think I’m selfish when I say this. I mean, it’s great to see John with dumb stuff on his head, and I do like putting stuff on my own head, but I kind of want to see stuff on your head. So maybe we could set something up where people could send us pictures of stuff on their heads. And videos, and videos of stuff on their heads! And people doing stuff while stuff is on their heads! Yes, yes, I think this is a good idea. Anyhow, I’ll see ya' morrow.

Brotherhood 2.0: February 9, 2007

Good morning Hank, it's Friday, February 9th, and it's laundry day. (shows washer/dryer) You will note that we have the world's smallest washing machine. It was the only washing machine slash dryer that was ever designed exclusively for Lilliputians. Let's see how many clothes it will fit! One shirt, one pair of boxers, one pair of pants, two pairs of, wait, what's this? (pulls out a book) Oh, it's The Naked and the Dead in My Pants! Two socks, one pair of boxers, and, it's completely full, in fact it's kind of overstuffed. I might have to take out one of the socks.
Hank, I talked to Brotherhood 2.0 resident mathematician Daniel Biss and it turns out that there's a huge gaping flaw in your mathematical theorem about old people and dying and banjo concerts. The problem is this: A 70 year old may live, on average, to be 83 years old, but that doesn't mean that a 71 year old is just as likely to die as an 82 year old; in fact the vast majority of people are going to die closer to 82 than they are to 71. If you want to see a person die at a banjo concert, the key is not to go to banjo concerts that feature older people, the key is to go to longer banjo concerts; like thirteen year long banjo concerts.
Hank, several Brotherhood 2.0 commenters have been asking three questions about my new book: "What's it called," "When is it going to come out," and "What's it about?" I am now happy to answer all of those questions, although I'm going to answer one of them with a long series of lies. The book is called Paper Towns, it will be published in September of 2008, it's about life in an orphanage in Imperial Japan in the 17th century. It's about the world origami championship of 2004. It's the story of a special boy and his special dog. I don't wanna ruin it for you, but the dog dies. It's about an ambiguously gendered child growing up in a Greek American family. It's about Hamlet. It's a historical novel in which I imagine the teenage years of Emily Dickinson. It's about a face that is half in the dark and half in the light. It's about coming to terms with the fact that even though sometimes even though you eat the points you're supposed to eat you still don't get less fat. It's about when the last ding dong of doom has clanged and faded from the last rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will be one more sound, that of man's puny exhaustible voice, still talking. It's about a girl name Becca who has a very happy birthday!
Hank, I'll be watching you on Monday from lovely Washington, DC. See you then!