Brotherhood 2.0: Harry and the Potters are Nerdfighters!

(sit up) Good morning Hank. (sit up) It's Wednesday. (sit up) I'm getting my abs in shape (sit up) for my punishment. Also, welcome to my basement. What do you think? 

Hank, the light in the basement isn't very good. Let's go outside. Is it bad that my abs kind of hurt after those four sit-ups? Ok, Hank, I have to make this video super fast because I gotta go out tonight, and also I have to get back to revising my new book.
By the way, Hank, I have decided that my new book is definitely going to be called Paper Towns unless I change my mind again. Do you like that title? I mean, I know it's not super commercial, but it is the perfect title for the actual book.
It's interesting that my puff levels generally are not very high, but then the puff level just right here in this area is extraordinarily high. (pets head) Puff. Puff. Puff.
Hank, I do have a small piece of bad news regarding my punishment: I seem to have thrown away all of my academic decathlon medals. 

(pictures) Hank, I know what you're wondering- you're wondering, 'Is that really Harry and the Potters doing the Nerdfighter hand thing? Hank, it is! That's some Nerdfighters with Harry and the Potters! Yay Harry and the Potters! They're like the number one Harry Potter band in the world!
Commenter Margaret said something about how my academic decathlon medals prove that I'm smart, but I'm afraid that that's not actually the case. The way academic decathlon works is that there are three tiers of students. You've got your A students, your B students and your C students. A students have GPAs of 3.75 and above, B students have GPAs above 3.0 and then C students have GPAs below 2.99. Basically, what those medals mean is that I was the third best C student in the state of Alabama, which is not quite the same thing as being smart.
Hey Hank, I'm wondering if we can add just one more thing to the punishment: the commenters in My Pants have been crazy about the idea that we're going to dye our hair green. I think that's a great idea, except that most green hair dyes last for about eight weeks, which is a little long if you're about to turn thirty years old. I mean, if I was twenty-six, twenty-seven, eight weeks of green hair, no problem. But when you're thirty, it just seems kinda sad. Fortunately there's that awesome spray-on green hair, pictured here. So Hank, here's my idea- you spray paint this part, the mohawk part, and then I'll spray paint all of these parts, the parts that aren't mohawk-y, and then between the two of us, we'll have a whole head of green hair.
Hank, I hope it's a nice day in Missoula. It's certainly beautiful here in Indianapolis. I'm going to go and enjoy the day now. I'll see you tomorrow.

Brotherhood 2.0: June 20: Moving

(driving) Good morning Hank, it's Wednesday, June 20th and we are on our way to Indianapolis. I would look at you, but I'm driving a gigantic moving van. (shot of van at house)
(shot of boxes, John pops up) Hank we made it to Indianapolis! Although, as you will probably notice, puff levels are a little bit high. I hope this is the worst I ever look on Brotherhood 2.0. How am I gonna meet Judy Blume with this hair? Hey Hank, you know what's fun? Driving a 24 foot moving truck halfway across the country. It's particularly fun when it's raining! Because then you don't just feel like you're steering a run away train, you feel like you're steering a run away train that's on skis! Also, you know what's really really long? Pennsylvania.
Hey Hank, congratulations on The Weather Channel, I haven't even seen it yet, but Mom says it's awesome.
So it ended up taking, like, 18 hours, but eventually we made it to Indianapolis. I'm really happy I'm here. (shot of flowers) Look, Hank, nature! I mean, you know, when I was in New York it was almost impossible to contribute to the global water crisis, but here it's really easy. (shot of watering) (sings) the worldwide water shortage crisis is all my fault! (back inside) OK, uh, quick question Hank, what do I do about all this grass? I mean, I used, like, eight baths worth of water in like ten minutes trying to make it less brown.
Hank I haven't even seen your video from yesterday, so I'm gonna go to Starbucks, upload this, watch yours, and then take a nap that's gonna last, like, 30 hours. I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) P.S. Hey Hank, I don't even know if you know this, but we were sort of, like, halfway featured on YouTube last week, and one of our videos, I think it was the one from June 4th, ended up getting a lot of comments from YouTubers. And let me tell you Hank, YouTubers are smart (mouths no they aren't) All I'm gonna say is that these YouTubers were definitely not Nerdfighters. Hey, speaking of which, Hank what's the opposite of a Nerdfighter? Anyway Hank, I would read some of those comments to you, but unfortunately most of them do not contain any English words what so ever. It's just sort of a random string of letters with an occasional profanity. But one YouTuber did write a legible comment. He said: I notice you are a nerd, why? Why? Why am I a nerd? Why? Hank, Nerdfighters, why are we nerds? And why are we proud to be nerds? By the way, any Nerdfighters who are also YouTubers, can go to YouTube and give the video from June 4th a high rating, and it might be featured again.

May 25th: FreeMonkey's Tour

Good morning, John, it's Friday May 25th. FreeMonkey and I are about to go on the town. (shot of FreeMonkey with cat) This is what FreeMonkey has mostly been doing since he's been here. He's become kind of friends with the cat. I just put him there and she goes up and they sit together. FreeMonkey!
(Shot of FreeMonkey on bridge) But now FreeMonkey's goin out on the town! We're gonna stop by a couple of places, and then we're gonna hike up to the M. This is where we're goin, buddy (shot of large M on mountain).
First stop: Missoula's carousel at Caras Park. He looks pretty secure on there. (FreeMonkey has the buckle wrapped around him, shot of Buckle Up! It's the Law! sign) announcer: FreeMonkey is riding on (unintelligible) Everyone make their very best monkey noise, if you would, to get this ride started. (group makes monkey noises) Hold on tight everybody! (carousel runs)
(at park) Little boy: Are you swinging that?
It's my monkey, he's taking a swing.
Now FreeMonkey and I are getting a haircut. (FreeMonkey getting shampooed) It's my friend Maureen's monkey, and she is publishing a book, and he's going on tour before her book.
Woman: So am I gonna be in the tour?
Umm, yes, your hands will be anyways.
Woman (snipping): Actually there is a couple of little hairs...
There's a couple little hairs?
Woman: yeah.
Woman off camera: what the heck are you guys doing?
Woman: (laughs) I'm gonna be on the book tour! (brushes off FreeMonkey) Aaah!
And then FreeMonkey and I achieved our goal, we hiked and hiked and hiked until we got to Missoula, Montana's M. And then FreeMonkey sat and gazed upon the city of Missoula.
(inside) Where will FreeMonkey go next? And here's my haircut! Puff levels are lower. It was a fun day. In celebration of FreeMonkey's excellent day today and all of John's Holland happy dances, and also because the period of collection for Randy's family has ended, The World Suck Index has decreased to Suck Level: Yellow- Merely elevated. It's a great day in the history of World Suck, the first time that the World Suck Meter has ever been at anything besides Severe. It's kind of hard to celebrate when a period of mourning ends. Like, nobody celebrates when the flag goes up from half mast after a national disaster. Yay we don't have to mourn any more! You can't really celebrate that.
Thinkin about that got me thinkin about the period of time after a president's death when we all have the flags at half mast and we mourn. Thinkin about that got me thinking about how weird that is gonna be when I'm mourning the death of George Bush. Thinkin about that made me realize that since I am so much younger than George Bush, chances are I will live to see the day when he dies. Thinkin about that actually kinda made me a little happy. And at first thinkin about that kinda made me a little bit ashamed, but then I realized that it's not because he'd be dead or because someone would be dying or because I want him to die, because a part of me suddenly realized that there's a lot of future yet to come. And that I'm gonna be around to see a lot of that future. Thinkin about that actually kinda made me pretty hopeful.
I'll see you on Monday.

Brotherhood 2.0: May 16: Beating the EBO into the ground

Good morning Hank, it's Wednesday, May 16th. You may notice that the puff level is a little high. There's so much puff on the sides, Hank! Puff! Puff! It reminds me of when I was in high school and they called me muffin.

Hank, I don't know if you can see the beads of sweat dripping down my forehead, but it's been a long day here in New York City, it's hot, and I've spent the day reading the screenplay of the Looking for Alaska movie, or as it's known in Hollywood, 'Famous Last Words'. They're changing the title of the movie because, y'know, Looking for Alaska sounds like it's a movie about mountaineering, or something. Anyway Hank, I think it's a pretty good screenplay, even though it's way different from the book, and let's just keep our fingers crossed that they make it.

Hank, even though so far as I can tell we haven't gotten official permission from Evil Baby Orphanage creator Brooke to make it into a movie/book/graphic novel/we don't know what yet, I think we should move ahead with the project. Unfortunately it's hard to write collaboratively about something when you're not allowed to communicate via text, so I'm going to propose that we discuss the Evil Baby Orphanage in video blogs. But obviously, we can't do it in the brotherhood 2.0 video blogs, so I propose that we make a series of Evil Baby Orphanage videos in which we're reading to each other from our proposed book proposals- is that grammatically correct? I'm gonna go with it, and then eventually we'll create a book proposal out of the things we're reading to each other. That shouldn't be too hard, right? I mean, we don't need text any more. Text is dead. Just kidding. I miss text so bad, Hank. I miss it, I miss it, I miss it. Sometimes I'll open up the instant message window, and I'll make it say BrokenGolfClub, and I'll just have it sitting there and I'll type into it, but I won't hit enter so I don't break the rules. Hey, I just told everyone what your screen name is!
Now obviously the Nerdfighters have to have access to the evil baby orphanage videos, so I'm going to propose that we also post them on brotherhood 2.0 over the weekends, if and when we actually do this. Okay? Okay. Moving on. Oh wait, before we move on, can I just say one thing? An Evil BABY Orphanage does have to contain evil babies, but babies grow up, and what they grow up into is teenagers, who become kind of, maybe, evil baby junior counsellors. Y'know, they gotta take care of the evil babies, they've gotta change the evil diapers, et cetera. And what would it be like, Hank, to be 14 or 15 years old and all of a sudden realise that the reason you're on this mountaintop school in Canada and never allowed to leave campus is because you are an evil baby from the past? I'm just saying, I think it might be interesting.
Okay, really moving on now. Hank, in your last video you correctly pointed out that I was born in the city of Indianapolis, the city I'm moving back to. You incorrectly said that I lived there until I was three. In point of fact, I lived there until I was three weeks old. Hank, I know that you have a limited knowledge of my early years, due to the fact that you weren't alive for them. But don't you remember how we lived in Michigan, and then moved to Birmingham, and how you were born in Birmingham, and how then we moved to Florida? Jeeeeez.
Anyway Hank, eventually you won't have to remember that I left Indianapolis when I was three weeks old, because all that stuff will be covered on my Wikipedia page, or as you like to call it, Wee-kee-pedia. Come on, Hank, this isn't Canada, say it with me: Wi-ki-pedia. It's not quite there yet, but it's getting there. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 Logo) P.S. Hank, the Yeti just officially became a Master. Look at these awesome pictures I took! My gosh, I'm like Ansel Adams, only, y'know, drunk. Forget the video blog, Hank, I'm going into professional distance photography.

Brotherhood 2.0: May 10: House Hunted?

Good morning Hank, it's Thursday May 10th, the third day of my house hunt. The Yeti and I have seen 26 houses in the last two days (shots of houses with song)
(conversing with self)
hey wait, go back, go back, is that a treehouse?
Yeah, it is.
You saw a house with a treehouse? That's awesome.
Yeah, I know, it was- it was-it was pretty cool. It was a cool house.
Hey did that house have any other really cool features?
It had a pub room.
Dude, you saw a house that had a treehouse and it had a bar downstairs where you could have two different kinds of beer on tap?
Yeah? It was pretty nice I guess?
Dude, why didn't you buy that house?
Well, cause the Yeti was all like, we need bedrooms.
(clips of houses)
Seriously Hank, that's a lot of houses. Hank, I'm gonna have to film the rest of this at the Indianapolis airport because we still have to do more house hunts.
(at airport) Hank, I have great news, or at the very least potentially great news. Sarah and I saw a house we really really really liked and we put an offer on it. That means that, it was like, we told the house we like you, and then we wrote them a note that said do you like us back? please check one: yes no maybe? And now we're waiting for the house to write is back. Specifically the house in the form of its current owners. We're very nervous.
Anyway Hank, here's a quick tour of the house that we may live in if they like our offer: (video of house) Anyway Hank, it's a great house in a great neighborhood. You can walk to this quaint, adorable little coffee shop called Starbucks. Do you like it? I hope so, because you're gonna have to come visit us alot, because we got a guest room just for you.
Anyway Hank, wish us luck with the house and I'll see you tomorrow.

Brotherhood 2.0: May 8th: House Hunters

Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday May 8th, 10th? 8th? It's an even numbered day in May. A commenter recently had an idea that we should release a Brotherhood 2.0 calendar to increase the Funds to Decrease World Suck, and I think that's a great idea. It would be exactly like a regular calendar, except without weekends, and also the date would always be wrong.
Hank we're in the airport in New York City on our way to go house hunting in Indianapolis. This will be my first time visiting Indianapolis as a, you know, resident. Hank, there were several happy birthday messages that got lost in my email that I'll have to show you on Thursday, but for now I don't have them because we're in the airport and I don't have my computer and I don't really know what's goin on and we gotta go house hunting. We're very busy we gotta meet Penny the realtor, there's a lot going on. But, I will show you those happy birthday greetings on Thursday.
Also, during the Happy Birthday Top Secret Project I learned a lot of interesting things about our Nerdfighters. For instance, did you know, and this is entirely true, one of the Nerdfighters is going to be competing this year in the National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C. Hank we have a semi-professional speller!
Hank in other news, Maureen Johnson's book the Bermudez Triangle seems to have been sort of half way unbanned. Specifically the school administration is now arguing that they didn't ban the book at all in the first place, they just recommended that it be banned, and then removed it from the shelf, which somehow does not constitute banning. Anyway, it seems like our letters have worked and now it's just a matter of seeing if the school superintendent agrees that the book should stay on the shelves.
Observation: people look at you funny when you scream into a camera at the airport at 7:10 in the morning.
Hey Hank, while we're here at the airport I thought we might go to Hudson News to see what's goin on in the world. (Star) What's Wrong with Brit's Baby! Is not a sentence that ends in an exclamation point.
(in hotel) Hank, most of that video was filmed at like 7 o'clock this morning at the airport, and now we're in Indianapolis and it's like 11 o'clock at night and I only have about 30 minutes to upload and edit it and do everything with my Brotherhood 2.0 video and I'm extremely stressed out and plus we saw like 12 houses today and they were all nice but they also all need work and it was really really really really really really really really stressful and the last thing I want to do is come home and have to make a video.
Hank, you know when I get stressed out you know what I do? I do this thing (runs hands through hair) I do the puff? I do the puff up? I do the constant puff up? I've been doing the puff up all day (shots of him making puffing all over) You see Hank, in my life, the puff level has a direct correlation to the stress level. The puff level is high, so the stress level is high. Don't get me wrong. Shopping for houses is really really really fun, it's exciting and it feels good, and the houses are interesting and everything else, but it's also, scary. So the puff level is high, and the stress level is high. And Hank, on Thursday I'm going to need you to help me pick a house. I'll see you tomorrow.
(Brotherhood 2.0 logo)
Brotherhood 2.0 would like to wish a very belated but very happy 30th birthday to Shanon James. Nerdfighters!