July 25: Brotherhood 2.0's Youtube Comments Are Answered!

So Hank this morning the first thing I did was I got up and I went to look at YouTube, uh, and I was like, well that's weird, I don't usually see Hank's face on the front page of YouTube. That's a little- OH MY GOD WE GOT FEATURED! Good morning Hank, it's Thursday, July 25th. Hank you're getting so many comments that there's no way you can respond to all of them. So, uh, I'm going to do it for you. Until my four minute deadline I'm going to read and answer as many YouTube comments as I can. Hank, I know you're wondering, you're wondering how am I gonna know, John, if it's you or if it's a YouTuber when you're reading? The answer is that when it's a YouTuber I'm not going to have green hair, and when it's me I am going to have green hair.
(YouTuber) LOL what a sexy geek!
Actually he's a sexy nerd, but that's a common mistake.
(YouTuber) It's assio not akio. No it's ahkio not akio. No it's not, dumbass, it's ashio not akio. No it's ahkio,  no it's akio, no it's oshkosh b'gosh!
OK, once and for all it's assio stop bothering him!
(YouTuber) You guys look like the Proclaimers.
Really? Did the Proclaimers have green hair?
(YouTuber) Who ever made this is a nerd.
Yes, that's the idea. We're nerds.
(YouTuber) Funny but could you look any dorkier?
Yes he could look dorkier. He could have spotty green hair.
(YouTuber) Why are dogs scared of vacuums but not of peanut butter faces?
That's a really good question. Maybe it's because vacuums are scary whereas peanut butter faces are made of awesome.
Nigeliscool657 writes: get a life, nerd.
Your screen name is Nigeliscool657, did 656 people before you have the screen name Nigeliscool? Furthermore to best of my knowledge no one in human history who is cool has ever had the screen name blank is cool ergo you are a Nerdfighter, sorry, live with it. It's a good thing.
(YouTuber) What's a Nerdfighter?
A Nerdfigher is like a regular person except instead of being composed out of, like, tissues and cells and organs, they're made out of awesome. Nerdfighters do stuff like hang out at the Brotherhood 2.0 forum, My Pants and uh, (image of pillow) embroider pillows. Hank look at those embroidered pillows! They even put my pants on them!
(YouTuber) This was so jokes. You have real skills.
Uh, this isn't really a response to that comment, but wouldn't it be great if instead of saying cool we always said jokes? Yeah, we just got featured on the front page of YouTube, it was pretty jokes. Man, the mountain goats are so jokes. Hey is it hot outside? No, it's pretty jokes.
(YouTuber) Umm, can you say obsession? Oh right, that's what you are. Cough cough. Get a life.
Uh, when you say cough cough get a life do you mean cough get a life cough? Because (coughs) get a life isn't funny, but (cough)get a life(cough) that's funny.
Pisstaker writes: Geek.
Your screen name is Pisstaker and you called Hank a geek? Um, I have a couple problems with the screen name Pisstaker. The big one is this: who isn't a piss taker? Like, how does being a piss taker set you apart from the crowd?
Kush45 writes: Got anything better to do? Like make some money? Get a job? Harry Potter doesn't care about you cuz he's not real.
Harry Potter isn't real? Oh no! Wait, wait, what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am I real if you can see me and hear me, but only through the internet? Are you real if I can read your comment but I don't know who you are or what your name is or where you're from or what you look like or how old you are? I know all of those things about Harry Potter. Maybe Harry Potter's real and you're not.
Rustyjusty123 asks: can I put your face on the MySpace?
I've heard a lot about the MySpace and I think it would be fine if you put Hank's picture on the MySpace.
(YouTuber) Wow, he's 27. He looks like my little brother. My little brother's ten.
He looks like my little brother too, and I think he's awesome!
So that's all the questions I can get through. Hank congratulations. I don't even know how to celebrate I'm so happy. I think I'm gonna put silly string in my hair and then do my happy dance. (sprays) The Yeti is going to be really mad when she gets home and sees the carpet! Happy dance time! (dances) YES! Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.

Brotherhood 2.0: March 2nd: Politics and Butt Explosions

Good morning, John. It’s Friday, March 2nd. You guys are all really mean. I mean, I love you, but you’re mean, kinda just like John. Okay, not all of you are mean. Otter and Maureen and couple of you guys were out there defending me. But, the people have spoken, and I await my punishment. One condition: please, nothing to do with earwax.
There’s been talk of us introducing more politics into Brotherhood 2.0, and this is not something I think we have a choice about. We’re both very politically active and interested people, and not talking about politics would be lying. And there’s no way we’re going to exclude that from our conversation. However, I’m with commenter milowent on this one. It’s too early to endorse anyone. Honestly, I mean, we don’t even know if the primary field is filled out, yet. What if there’s one candidate behind the scene whose name and politics and abilities are already well-known enough that he doesn’t have to announce early? (flashes to a picture of Al Gore) Someone who’s maybe waiting for the other primary candidates to finish ripping each other to shreds before he announces? (flashes to a picture of Al Gore) Someone who hasn’t been able to come up with a firm answer to the question, “Will you run for president?” for the last year and a half. I think we should wait and see. Plus, Dennis Kucinich’s wife is (flashes to picture of Kucinich and his wife) hot. Daniel Biss once said that she’s the one and only success that the Democratic party had in 2004. (flashes to a picture of their wedding) I could totally dig that as a first lady.
Finally, I wanted to share with you a few juicy bits of knowledge. First, commenter Scott says that he would like my punishment to be long and lasting and painful. I think I might hate commenter Scott. But, I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I have been living with ulcerative colitis. What does that mean? (farts) Well, if you’re wondering what it’s like, this advertisement, I think, sums it up fairly well. (holds up a newspaper, advertising movie called Hidden Fire: The Great Butte Explosion; covers the “e” in “butte” with his finger; says in a deep voice) Hidden Fire: The Great Butt Explosion.

Second, Liz S. says that myriad is one of her favorite words. And I wanted her to know that it comes from the Greek myriados, meaning ten thousand, and that I didn’t get you a wedding present, either.
So, apparently I look like people. First you say I look like this guy (image of The Proclaimers), then you say I look like this guy (image of male actor), then you say I look like this (image of Michelle Williams)…girl. I mean, Heath Ledger was in that movie. Maybe he asked her to get that haircut.
(with eight pictures of John Green taped to his face) Okay, this is extremely strange. I just wanted to say, (singing) I’m being John for a day 

I’m being John for a day. 

I live in New York and buy expensive jeans. 

I’m loved and adored by half dozens of teens. 

Oh, I’m being John for a day! (dances)
And, I’ll see you tomorrow. Oh! On Monday! I’ll see you on Monday.

Brotherhood 2.0: January 11th

Good afternoon, John. It is Thursday, January 11th. (sneeze sneeze) So I was just watching my video from January 9th. I'm paying the price for not being commensurate with my values. At some point, while in Detroit, I met a really — like a tiny chicken. I don't actually remember this tiny chicken but I'm almost positive that we had an encounter, because this tiny chicken has laid tiny eggs in my head. One here. One here. One here and One here. (sniffles) Those tiny eggs are growing and hatching and the baby tiny chickens are feeding on my brain. They do everything that baby chickens do. They're cute, they're fuzzy. They poop and they eat. They're eating my brain and their poop is coming out my nose. Fucking tiny chicken!
How many of you seen a drop coming out my nose, because it'd be really embarrassing to have that caught on video blog. No, it's still there! Ahh, there we go. Ha ha! (sniffle) No junk. No junk coming out my nose. No. I think that we should suggest some more punishments, so that we can choose between punishments. Also, we can have people suggest punishments. So far all we have is the 500 Miles punishment, we I'd be totally capable of doing. Honestly, I think it'd be fun. So, punishments that I am suggesting today: Grow your facial hair for one full week, and then wax your chin. Also, there's the Stick A Needle In My Eye provision. Third on my list of punishments that I'm suggesting for today: Give yourself a mohawk. I kind of always wanted to give myself a mohawk and I'd really like an excuse.
I've got a little bit of a problem and I was hoping that you, or maybe one of our viewers could help me out. I was going to Detroit, right, so I figured I'd have a bunch of business cards printed up. I used an online service and I upload my files and they sent me a bunch of business cards. (holds one up) Like that. I like a nice sturdy card stock. and on the back, it's supposed to be like this one, which I got printed up at Kinko's. (shows card) But this one, one the back, says this (EcoGeek). And on the front, says this. (EcoGeek) What am I supposed to do with this? Okay, it's one thing to have one that does that... What about this many? This many, that are the same, on all the sides. What am I supposed to do with it? John, viewers: What do I do with 100 three inch by one and a half inch cards that say 'ecogeek' on them? So far my only idea is to tape them all over my face
(sings) 'I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more' See, this is — this is to me not a punishment. I— I don't know. To me, it's not a punishment. We sh— we need to come up with better punishments, is what I'm saying.

Brotherhood 2.0: January 3rd

Hi John! Good morning! It's Brotherhood 2.0 with Hank and John Green!
Wow, that guy was having fun. It's seven o'clock in the morning and I'm about to get on a plane. Yesterday I was sledding down a hill at Lake Tahoe. That was fun, this isn't fun. I hope you don't mind if I make a suggestion as to how to begin our conversation on this video blog. Being your brother is kinda frustrating some times. This is because people walk up to me and they say, "Gosh, you look so much like your brother.  Oh, your jokes are very similar to your brother's, except you're not quite as funny as him." Apparently some people even think that we look like the twin rock duo, The Proclaimers, which is admittedly better than people thinking that we look like the twin rock duo, Nelson. So, I would like to propose a list. We make a video blog list of all the ways in which we are very very different people.
Things like: in the last few years John Green has gotten kind of pudgy. Whereas, in the next few years Hank Green will get kind of pudgy. And also things like: John Green has never spilled a tiny amount of beer on his wife's MacBook, which then proceeded to not boot up. And also, John Green didn't almost ruin the video blog experiment by not having a computer that would work. And also, John Green didn't do the Happy Dance when his wife was in the shower, and he reinstalled the battery and tried to boot it up the next morning and it worked. (dances) And also, John Green probably would have told his wife about the incident instead of hoping everything would turn out OK. Sorry honey! And also, and also, and also. And also John Green doesn't constantly and vainly obsess about his hair, which apparently I do. On some level, performing a version of 500 Miles on this show actually does appeal to me. Punishment, project, or challenge?