Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday, April 26th. Today's video blog comes in five parts.
Part one: Papa, it's his birthday, you need to call him.
Part two: Speaking of old people, Helen Hunt is on your guilt-free three list? Helen Hunt? Helen Hunt? Hank, I'd just like to remind you that cougar hunting is not legal in the United States. But anyway Hank, you're talking about your celebrity do list, as another commenter called it,
reminded me of number: 3. My own celebrity do list, which I keep, of course, in my copy of How to Be a Lady In Your Pants. Now, let's see if we can find it in here. Ah! There it is. OK, Hank, we have Natalie Portman, perfectly acceptable, Jenna Fischer from The Office. Pam. The only thing I like the idea of more than Pam and Jim getting together? Pam and John getting together. And then of course, we have Judy Blume. I mean, she's cute. She's really cute and one time at a conference she kissed me on the cheek and I liked it and I like her and I'm not gonna talk about it anymore. OK, maybe you get a pass on Helen Hunt.
Part 4: Moving! Hank, I'm sorry to hear that your house is on the block. I have good news though, I think that you should buy a house. But not in Missoula. Specifically I think you should buy a house in Indianapolis, Indiana. You wanna know why? Because I'm moving there. Sarah got a job at the Indianapolis Museum of Art, which is really one of the most exciting contemporary art spaces in America. And we're really psyched to go there, umm, but I'm a little worried because I don't have any friends in Indianapolis, and I think I'm gonna miss New York. Although if you think about it, Indianapolis is like the New York of Indiana. And also I'm told that its got really good urban exploring. Plus yesterday I was looking on the internet and houses in Indianapolis are almost free!
Part five: Hank, I liked your EcoGeek podcast animation introduction so much that I've been thinking that we could have a shorter, more visual animation for Brotherhood 2.0 that maybe doesn't spell communication wrong. Maybe you or one of the Nerdfighters can get on it. I'd do it myself except I'm bad at animating and plus I have to figure out how I'm gonna move to Indianapolis with all of these books. Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
Showing posts with label Parts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parts. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 3
Tuesday, November 2
Brotherhood 2.0: March 1, 2007: Sophistication. And balls.
Good morning, Hank. It’s Thursday, March 1st; we’re one sixth of the way done. Today’s video comes in four parts. Part one: presents. Part two: sophistication. Part three: balls. Part four: presidential politics. Yeah, I said balls.
Part one: presents. Hank, I want to thank you for completing the picture book project. It really kind of made my day and it felt like you were giving me a present. I feel like I haven’t given you many presents during the making of this video blog and it makes me kind of sad, although it occurs to me that it’s kind of a present when I physically hurt myself because, let’s face it, brothers like to see that stuff. Plus, there’s the small matter of Christmas 2000, when I bought you a DVD player for Christmas and you bought me two pairs of white tube socks. I feel like you’re still making up for that. (John now has eight ecogeek business cards taped to his face.) Anyway, Hank, I want you to know that I’m definitely going to try harder to give you presents on this video blog in the future.
Part two: sophistication. Hank, in the first two months of our video blog we’ve managed to mention most of the major bodily functions. Anyway, I was thinking we should increase the sophistication factor of Brotherhood 2.0. And that is why, today, I’m implementing a program to read James Joyce’s entire Ulysses to you out loud thirty seconds at a time starting now. (Reading from Ulysses) Stately, plum Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air.
(Book down) Okay, that’s boring. Part three: balls. Hank, your video on Monday where you had the gigantic blob of earwax removed from your ear got me to thinking a lot about the world’s largest balls. What I’m thinking is this: if you work hard and stay committed, you could potentially accrue the world’s largest ball of earwax by the end of 2007. Now, of course, it wouldn’t just be your earwax. We would also have to get help from our viewers. They would send you their earwax and their friends would send you their earwax, and then finally you would mold it together and turn it into the world’s largest ball of earwax. Believe me, Hank, this is practical. I’m a connoisseur of the world’s largest balls. I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of twine, I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of paint, and I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of stamps. And the world’s largest ball of earwax is just out there, waiting to be sculpted.
Part four: presidential politics. Hank, I have a question for you. Should Brotherhood 2.0 endorse a presidential candidate? If so, should we endorse a presidential candidate in the primary? I think the answers to these questions are yes, and yes. And Barack Obama. What do you think the answers are?
(John has cards on face again) This feels kind of good actually.
(singing) I’m being Hank for a day
Part one: presents. Hank, I want to thank you for completing the picture book project. It really kind of made my day and it felt like you were giving me a present. I feel like I haven’t given you many presents during the making of this video blog and it makes me kind of sad, although it occurs to me that it’s kind of a present when I physically hurt myself because, let’s face it, brothers like to see that stuff. Plus, there’s the small matter of Christmas 2000, when I bought you a DVD player for Christmas and you bought me two pairs of white tube socks. I feel like you’re still making up for that. (John now has eight ecogeek business cards taped to his face.) Anyway, Hank, I want you to know that I’m definitely going to try harder to give you presents on this video blog in the future.
Part two: sophistication. Hank, in the first two months of our video blog we’ve managed to mention most of the major bodily functions. Anyway, I was thinking we should increase the sophistication factor of Brotherhood 2.0. And that is why, today, I’m implementing a program to read James Joyce’s entire Ulysses to you out loud thirty seconds at a time starting now. (Reading from Ulysses) Stately, plum Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressinggown, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind him on the mild morning air.
(Book down) Okay, that’s boring. Part three: balls. Hank, your video on Monday where you had the gigantic blob of earwax removed from your ear got me to thinking a lot about the world’s largest balls. What I’m thinking is this: if you work hard and stay committed, you could potentially accrue the world’s largest ball of earwax by the end of 2007. Now, of course, it wouldn’t just be your earwax. We would also have to get help from our viewers. They would send you their earwax and their friends would send you their earwax, and then finally you would mold it together and turn it into the world’s largest ball of earwax. Believe me, Hank, this is practical. I’m a connoisseur of the world’s largest balls. I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of twine, I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of paint, and I’ve seen the world’s largest ball of stamps. And the world’s largest ball of earwax is just out there, waiting to be sculpted.
Part four: presidential politics. Hank, I have a question for you. Should Brotherhood 2.0 endorse a presidential candidate? If so, should we endorse a presidential candidate in the primary? I think the answers to these questions are yes, and yes. And Barack Obama. What do you think the answers are?
(John has cards on face again) This feels kind of good actually.
(singing) I’m being Hank for a day
I’m being Hank for a day.
I live in Montana and rarely shower.
I’m always blogging about solar power.
Oh, I’m being Hank for a day!
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Hey, Hank, something just occurred to me. Did I never get you a wedding present? If so, please put the word myriad in your next video.
(after the Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Hey, Hank, something just occurred to me. Did I never get you a wedding present? If so, please put the word myriad in your next video.
Brotherhood 2.0: January 24, 2007
Good morning Hank, it's Thursday January 24th.
Today's blog entry comes in two parts. Part one: the first part of the survey, part two: In your pants.
Yeti sock puppet: How long have you known Hank and Katherine?
John: Thanks for asking that question, puppet. I've known Hank since he was born, and I've known Katherine since, I believe, 1999.
Puppet: What do you want from us?
John: You know, puppet, I think that's what the Buddhists would call a question wrongly phrased. The question is not, what do I want from my brother, the question is what does my brother want from me. And the answer to that question is, I believe, a Nintendo Wii. That, that's also what I want from my brother.
Puppet: What are you doing?
John: I'm writing books for teenagers and doing this weird video project with my brother.
Puppet: Why are you doing it?
John: Well I write books because it makes me feel less, like, worthless.
Puppet: What's next?
John: Well, the major next at the moment is finishing my new and as yet untitled third book.
Puppet: How you doin?
John: I'm doin really well, sock puppet, and thank you for asking.
Puppet: What's the best book you read this year?
John: Uh, the best book I read last year is probably The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. (holds up Printz stickers and The Book Thief) Where should it go? Where? Oh, right beneath his name, I think. Congratulations, Marcus. Definitely deserved.
So, I went around my home library and found some books that I think benefit from the In Your Pants rule, and I'd like to share them with you. Marcus Zusak's second novel, Getting the Girl in Your Pants. The unfathomably bad The Mystery of the Golden Spheres in Your Pants. Rabbit at Rest in Your Pants. (shot of crotch) Man I sure am glad you stopped hopping. The Cheese Monkeys in Your Pants. Then we have two, excellent novels about love and promiscuity: Everyman in Your Pants, and Albert Camus's classic The Stranger in Your Pants. The Little Drummer Girl in Your Pants. (shot of crotch and squirming) Ow, stop drumming Jesus! And of course you have, The Sun Also Rises in Your Pants, which is... which is actually what The Sun Also Rises is about. The Thin Man in Your Pants. (Holds up The Second Coming) I'm just not gonna say a word. The Echo Maker in Your Pants. (holds pants up to face) HELLO Hello hello hello hello hello. (stares at camera) OK, I never thought I would do that in a video blog. Everything That Rises Must Converge in Your Pants.
I should add an addendum to the in Your Pants rule, which is that sometimes in your pants isn't the funniest way that you can add to a book title. For instance: Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone in Your Pants is a little funny, not as funny as Will You Miss Me When I've Gone in Your Pants, but the funniest one, I think, is Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone From Your Pants. I believe that is an old Carter family tune:
(sings) Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone From Your Pants
Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone From Your Pants
Will You Miss Me When I'm Go-o-one
Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone From Your Pants?
Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
Today's blog entry comes in two parts. Part one: the first part of the survey, part two: In your pants.
Yeti sock puppet: How long have you known Hank and Katherine?
John: Thanks for asking that question, puppet. I've known Hank since he was born, and I've known Katherine since, I believe, 1999.
Puppet: What do you want from us?
John: You know, puppet, I think that's what the Buddhists would call a question wrongly phrased. The question is not, what do I want from my brother, the question is what does my brother want from me. And the answer to that question is, I believe, a Nintendo Wii. That, that's also what I want from my brother.
Puppet: What are you doing?
John: I'm writing books for teenagers and doing this weird video project with my brother.
Puppet: Why are you doing it?
John: Well I write books because it makes me feel less, like, worthless.
Puppet: What's next?
John: Well, the major next at the moment is finishing my new and as yet untitled third book.
Puppet: How you doin?
John: I'm doin really well, sock puppet, and thank you for asking.
Puppet: What's the best book you read this year?
John: Uh, the best book I read last year is probably The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. (holds up Printz stickers and The Book Thief) Where should it go? Where? Oh, right beneath his name, I think. Congratulations, Marcus. Definitely deserved.
So, I went around my home library and found some books that I think benefit from the In Your Pants rule, and I'd like to share them with you. Marcus Zusak's second novel, Getting the Girl in Your Pants. The unfathomably bad The Mystery of the Golden Spheres in Your Pants. Rabbit at Rest in Your Pants. (shot of crotch) Man I sure am glad you stopped hopping. The Cheese Monkeys in Your Pants. Then we have two, excellent novels about love and promiscuity: Everyman in Your Pants, and Albert Camus's classic The Stranger in Your Pants. The Little Drummer Girl in Your Pants. (shot of crotch and squirming) Ow, stop drumming Jesus! And of course you have, The Sun Also Rises in Your Pants, which is... which is actually what The Sun Also Rises is about. The Thin Man in Your Pants. (Holds up The Second Coming) I'm just not gonna say a word. The Echo Maker in Your Pants. (holds pants up to face) HELLO Hello hello hello hello hello. (stares at camera) OK, I never thought I would do that in a video blog. Everything That Rises Must Converge in Your Pants.
I should add an addendum to the in Your Pants rule, which is that sometimes in your pants isn't the funniest way that you can add to a book title. For instance: Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone in Your Pants is a little funny, not as funny as Will You Miss Me When I've Gone in Your Pants, but the funniest one, I think, is Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone From Your Pants. I believe that is an old Carter family tune:
(sings) Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone From Your Pants
Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone From Your Pants
Will You Miss Me When I'm Go-o-one
Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone From Your Pants?
Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.
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